Like A Tiger In A Cage
by A Sweet Catastrophe
Summary: After a memorable New Years 12 years ago, Kita Sohma thought she would never have to see the terrifying Akito again but following the death of her father, she finds that her options are limited and the rules have been expanded to include her. maleAkito/OC. Content Warning: Read note on my profile.
1. Prologue

_Prologue_

New Year's Eve at the Sohma house.

Streamers were draped over every majestic ceiling in shades of gold, blue, pink, and every other hue that you could possibly imagine. They created a sort of canopy-like netting that reminded Kita of being inside of a fort made of blankets. Paper lanterns accented them, giving the room a cozy, soft glow that was offset by the cacophony of voices and music.

Five-year-old Kita gripped her mother's hand tightly as they made their way through the crowd, smiling at relatives who they haven't seen in a year and exchanging hugs and kisses. Kita couldn't remember most of these people and she started to get shy. Up until that point, Kita stayed away from large crowds of people and preferred being alone. She stood as close to her mother as she could and tried to avoid looking at the spectacle that was the annual Sohma New Year's gathering.

She looked over her shoulder and saw the other kids, aged three through six, playing together cheerfully. A part of her wanted to walk over there and join them. A part of her wanted to be accepted by them but she knew she would never be like them. They were all born under a Zodiac curse and she was not. Her mother was though. She had the unfortunate luck to be born under the sign of the tiger. Kita knew that fact didn't qualify her for the other kid's group and that secretly killed her.

"Hello, Mina. You're looking as stunning as ever." said a fifteen-year-old Shigure as he came up to the mother-daughter pair from out of nowhere.

Kita hid behind her mother's legs. She didn't remember this older boy either and he was making her uncomfortable.

Mina laughed at the boy's audacity. "Oh Shigure, you don't need to flatter me like you do so many of the others. I'm a happily married woman and I'm twice your age." Kita peeked out from behind her sanctuary, glaring at him. He was too friendly, intimidatingly so.

"I'm just having fun. You really don't look a day over twenty-two. How is Jiro anyway?" Shigure asked, smiling at Kita and giving her a little wave. She hid behind her mother again.

"He's doing fine. He went out with the boys tonight so Kita and I wouldn't feel bad about leaving him to come here."

In spite of the fact that Jiro is a Sohma, he was not allowed to attend any family gatherings. Back when Mina was twenty-one and Jiro was twenty-six, she had fallen in love with him and they wanted to get married. Since she's bound to the law laid out by the head of the family, she had no choice but to tell him of their plans. The head of the family at that time was secretly harboring feelings for Mina that went beyond the typical relationship of the God and his cursed children and reacted violently, attacking Mina and Jiro. Jiro stood up to him and then fled, eloping with Mina that night. As a result, Jiro was exiled from the family. While Mina's offenses were similar to Jiro's, as a Zodiac member, she could never be thrown out. Kita will never know of the tears her mother shed every New Year's after that. She will never know about how her mom would sometimes come home bloody and bruised from the abuse her God put her through. She won't know about the many times he tried to rape her.

All of her suffering stopped about two years before Kita was born. He passed away and a new baby was anointed with the full extension of the Zodiac curse. In spite of the new leadership, Jiro is still considered to be in exile for his crimes against the Sohma head's predecessor.

But Mina had tried to put this all behind her. She turned around and swooped Kita into her arms. She wanted her daughter to get to know these people. They were family after all and she secretly loved showing off her sweet little girl.

"Hello Kita. Do you remember me?" Shigure asked the timid child. Kita shook her head and Shigure laughed. Mina patted her head tenderly. Little kids are adorable.

Kita didn't like all the interactions. She wanted to get away from everyone and sit somewhere quiet. She felt so out of place.

"Put me down, mama." She said, looking pitifully at Mina.

"Sure, honey." she said, setting her daughter down onto the wood floor. Once Kita's feet hit the ground she started walking quickly away, pushing through the crowd. When someone stood in her way, she slipped through their legs. She had to get away from all the people.

"Don't go to far Kita!" shouted her mother, looking woefully at her. She knew Kita was a curious child and she was a bit afraid that she might wander somewhere that could get her into trouble.

After getting away from the party, Kita found herself in a long, empty hallway. Last New Year's Eve she had explored a lot of the rooms on this side of the estate. They belonged to her mother's friends and their children, some of who had been playing in that group she wished she could join. She walked to the end of the dimly lit hallway and took a left, realizing that she was now near the back of the house. She had never strayed this far from the festivities and she wondered if her mother would get mad at her for drifting so far. She decided that if she got back before her mother got too worried, then there was no harm in looking around here for a little while. All Kita found was a large door with tree-like designs on it, one she had never opened before. She could see a warm glow emanating from inside the room. Someone must be in there. The clasp to the door was right in front of Kita. It called out to her, tempting her to pull it. Cautiously giving in, she pulled back the screen and looked inside.

Standing by a large, glassy window she saw a boy, about seven years old, with moonlight reflecting off his dark hair. He was taller than her but leaner, like he had never eaten a full meal in his life. The boy turned around with his head hung low, his messy hair covering his eyes. He gracefully held his arms behind his back and tilted his head up to look at her. Kita blushed.

"I-I'm sorry. I-I was j-just exploring." she stuttered.

The boy smiled darkly and walked towards her, each step bringing him closer to the darker side of the room, masking him in shadows.

"What is your name?" he asked. His voice, calm and serious, sent chills down Kita's spine. He was a million times more intimidating than Shigure had been and he was closer to her age.

"I-I'm Kita." she said, bowing respectfully. "Who are you?"

The boy laughed dryly. "You do not know who I am?" he asked, not surprised but apparently having never faced someone who didn't instantly recognize him before.

"N-no. I don't think I do." replied Kita. This boy frightened her. She wished her mother would find her. She wanted to continue being with him, just not alone. The boy inched closer to her and pushed his hair away from his face revealing his dark, cold eyes which instantly fixated on Kita's.

"I am Akito, head of the Sohma family."

Kita's yellow-green eyes widened. He's the head of the family. He has power over all of her relatives. She could barely believe it. She had heard the adults casually mention him before but she expected him to be older, bigger, and not hidden away in his room like this.

Akito ran his long, bony fingers through a few strands of her dark, purple-tinted hair.

"You're pretty." he said fondly. "It's funny how your name sounds like mine." Kita smiled at him. Maybe he wasn't so scary after all. And he was cute, cuter than the other boys in her class.

He smiled back at her, stroking her hair softly.

"I'm going to marry you one day." he said, sternly.

Kita tried to remain quiet but couldn't stifle her loud giggle. Boys in school always said that to the girls they liked. They were never being serious, it was just another way to say 'I like you.' No one had ever said it to her before though. It made her feel special.

Akito's eerie smile rapidly dropped into a frown of anger.

"Why are you laughing!" he demanded. Before Kita could think to answer, he slapped her hard across her cheek, sending her falling onto the hard floor.

"I'm not joking!" he yelled at her. "One day you'll be all mine!"

Tears welled up in her eyes as her cheek throbbed with pain. She had never been hit before in her young life. This wasn't the same boy from a few seconds ago who had acted so polite and gentle. He was a monster. He turned _evil_. She rolled into a quivering ball, sobbing into the sleeve of her kimono.

"Mommy, mommy.." she cried out but her prayers were unanswered as she found herself alone on the floor.

For a long while the only sound in the dark room was her cries. She thought he had left the room until she felt two cold hands on her cheeks lift her up from the floor. The cold hand on her left cheek dulled the pain the slap had caused her and it got numb. She stared into her attacker's steel-colored eyes, seeing no remorse or compassion, just apathy. She started a new rush of tears and soon felt herself pressed against his frail, thin body. He rubbed her back slowly and she felt her tears dry up and her shaking subside. She looked up at him confused. Why was he acting like he had before?

Kita closed her eyes for a second of tranquility but barely calmed down before she felt her lips being pressed against Akito's. She gasped but her startled noise was caught in his throat.

She had never kissed a boy before. She remembered seeing two of her classmates do it on a dare. Their lips had barely touched before they had pulled away and said it was gross. Now that she was experiencing it for herself, she disagreed. It wasn't gross at all. It was just weird. His lips felt dry and chapped against her tear-stained ones. She kind of liked the soothing feeling it gave her, even though before he had held her, he had made her feel anything but relaxed. Did this mean he loved her? Mommy had said that people kiss when they're in love. She didn't know how she felt about this strange boy. One minute she hated him for hurting her and the next she was so grateful that he pacified the pains he had caused.

Their kiss was interrupted as the door to the room slid open. Mina was standing in the doorway with Hatori by her side. She gasped at the scene before her and cupped her hand over her mouth. Her five-year-old daughter was being kissed, for the first time, by a seven-year-old boy. Akito smirked at her.

"Hello Mina. I was just getting to know your daughter." he said complacently, as he gripped the belt on Kita's kimono tightly. She put one hand on the tie of his robe and the other on the boy's chest. Was he still protecting her?

"Akito, could you please let her go?" she said, trying to remain kind and reasonable. Hatori slowly walked around to Akito's side, positive that he wouldn't listen to her request.

"No." he said firmly. "She's mine now. She likes being with me anyway. Don't you, Kita?" he said, looking down at her.

Kita didn't know what to say. She looked from Akito to her mother. She didn't want to choose. Her mother, who was always there for her and would never hurt her and then Akito, who was intriguing and instilled her with emotions she had never felt before and who she also feared would become angry again if she didn't stay with him. She hid her face from both of them and remained silent.

Before she could give an answer, Hatori lunged at Akito, grabbing his arms tightly so he would loosen his grip on Kita's kimono. Akito yelled and kicked at Hatori who held a solid grasp on the skinny, little boy. Free from his clutches, Kita was picked up by her mother and carried out of the room, Akito's screaming still audible from down the hall.

Mina carried Kita into an empty guest room and sat her down on the bed. Kita looked surprisingly void of emotion, while Mina frantically paced around the room.

She stopped pacing and knelt down in front of Kita taking her tiny hands in hers.

"Kita, honey, did that mean boy do anything to you?" asked Mina, who seemed to be tearing up from all the excitement. Her poor daughter.

Kita thought about what happened and how worried her mother would be if she told her about it; his proposal or threat more like it, the painfully slap counteracted by the soothing kiss.

"No. Nothing."


	2. There's No Comfort In The Waiting Room

_Chapter 1_ (There's No Comfort In The Waiting Room)

Kita twirled her long, violet hair between her fingers as she yawned for the one-hundredth time today. It was a nervous habit she had developed when she couldn't find anything else to do with her hands. She didn't have any actual vices so this was a lot better but she didn't even like having this habit because she thought it made her look like an airhead. Nonetheless, she couldn't control it.

The sterile smell in the air made her stomach churn, threatening her to have a basket handy in case it decided to turn on her completely. She wondered if the cafeteria downstairs was open but came to the conclusion that it didn't matter. If she were to eat something, she would probably involuntarily vomit it up anyway.

She crossed her ankles and heard her car keys collide with the metal on her studded belt. That was the first sound she had heard in what felt like hours. Whether this was because it was a particularly slow day at the hospital or because she couldn't think clearly enough to process sound, she did not know.

The room contained no other occupants and was very plainly decorated. There were two couches and two chairs made of the same scratchy, cheap fabric randomly scattered around a coffee table adorned with magazines that catered to very specific interests, none of which appealed to Kita. In the corner there was a tall, dreary-looking plant of some sort that had many rusty brown colored leaves. Its stem had a sickly lean and it looked as if it desperately needed water. It looked as bad as Kita felt.

In order to distract herself, she picked up the empty plastic cup a nurse had given her, saying that she needed to at least stay hydrated even if she was too fidgety to eat, and walked down the hall to the water fountain.

Physicians of all sorts walked past her pushing complex-looking equipment. They all smiled amiably at her as they wheeled by. None seemed to be in too much of a hurry. What kind of hospital is this? Shouldn't the patients be receiving care, stat?

Kita pushed the button on the fountain, allowing her cup to be filled to the brim and then walked back to the waiting room. She approached the drooping miniature tree and poured a steady stream of water into its base until her cup was empty again. She didn't need a drink anyway.

"Excuse me, Miss Sohma?" said a raspy, female voice behind her.

Kita turned around fearfully.

"Yes?"

The nurse had short black hair intertwined with strands of gray. She was holding a clipboard and a morose expression that spelled distress. There was something motherly about her appearance that worried Kita. She must be the bad news lady.

"I'm your father's nurse and I have something important to tell you. You might want to take a seat."

Take a seat. Those were infamous last words if she's ever heard them. Kita lowered herself into her chair trying to brace herself for whatever news this woman had to drop on her, even though she somehow already knew what was up.

"H-how is he?" she asked weakly, looking into the nurse's warm, amber eyes.

The nurse sighed and put her hand on Kita's leg. She really wanted to slap her hand away. She didn't like sympathy from strangers, in spite of how sincere this woman looked.

"He's dead, dear."

Kita looked away from the nurse and focused her gaze on the blank, white wall in front of her. How could he die? He's only forty-nine years old. That's still young. Her father: her rock, her protector, her savior. He was all she had left after her mom passed away twelve years ago and now he was gone too.

She felt the tears start to form behind her closed lids. She bit her lip and refused to open her eyes. She didn't want to cry with the nurse still in the room.

"Are you okay?" she asked Kita, with pity.

Of course, she wasn't okay. She has just been informed that her father is dead.

Instead of snapping at the kind woman, Kita nodded.

"I'll live." she said almost incredulously.

"Well, I just want you to know that you probably shouldn't spend tonight alone. I'm not sure if you have a roommate or something but you should probably go somewhere safe tonight. You drove here on your own?"

"Yes. I did." she replied, fingering the keys on her belt loop. Apparently, this nurse thought she was older than she actually was. She was only seventeen, eighteen in a little more than a month, and she had nowhere to go. She lived with her father and she knew going back home would not be a good idea. It would only make things harder. She didn't have any living grandparents or any aunts and uncles. The only family she really had now were the other Sohmas and they were pretty distant relatives at that.

After her mom died, Kita stopped going to New Year's and all the other family gatherings. An invitation was never officially extended to her personally so she figured that she was in exile like her father by default. She still saw the other Sohmas, just very infrequently. Some of them even attended her school, but they weren't in her class.

"Will you be okay for tonight?" The nurse asked.

"Yes. I will be fine." Kita answered, knowing fully well that was a boldfaced lie. "Could you give me some time alone?"

"Sure, dear."

Kita watched the nurse's squeaky white shoes exit the room and then rested her head in her hands, allowing the tears to flow freely. It's been so long since she last cried.

What was she going to do? She needed a residence for two months at least or else the school would get suspicious. She only needed a place and guardian for two months, then she would graduate, get an apartment, and attend a university. Orphans get discounts, right?

"I'm an orphan." she said to herself, trying to wrap her mind around it.

The tears were so abundant, Kita's eyes started to burn. Where could she go? What would happen to her father's house and possessions? Who would have custody of her? She only needed someone to sign permission slips and such for the next two months. Was that too much to ask? After losing her father, that should be nothing.

"Kita?"

A deep male voice startled Kita, as she slowly lifted her head and looked towards the doorway. Much to her surprise, Hatori was standing before her holding a large box in one arm and his jacket in the other.

"Hello Hatori. What are you doing here?" said Kita. Her voice sounded weepy and quiet; nothing like her usual tone around people she knew which was welcoming and entertained.

"I was just about to ask you the same thing. I came by here because some of my supplies were shipped to this hospital by accident. I saw on the patient board that there was a Sohma here and I wanted to see who. How is Jiro?"

Kita wiped a few tears from her eyes, thankful her nose wasn't running also.

"Dead." she answered solemnly.

"I'm sorry." Hatori said. Kita marveled at the fact that his voice remained monotonous and professional even after hearing such news.

She bit her lips again to subdue the new tears forming.

"I'm alone. I'm parentless and guardianless and I don't even think I'm allowed to go home tonight so I'm homeless also. The only family I have left are the other Sohmas who are so distant, it's like we aren't even in the same family." Kita said, not totally sure if she was talking to Hatori or sorting out her thoughts out-loud.

Hatori was silent for a moment, allowing Kita to cry a few more tears. Once she calmed down again, he spoke.

"Kita, I think you should come home with me tonight. Then tomorrow, I will help you sort out this whole ordeal and find you a suitable place to live." he said, unchanging voice, unchanging position. What other option did she have?

Kita stared at Hatori like a deer in headlights, baffled by his generosity. This was what she was asking for, a place to stay and someone to help her.

"Thank you, Hari." she said. She had always thought he wasn't as cold as he appeared.

"Would you like to leave now?" he asked, thinking a change of atmosphere would make her feel better.

Kita resisted the urge to jump from her seat and say, 'yes, please, get me out of here.'

"I would but I think I may have some papers or something to deal with here. I'll check with the nurse and drive there myself. I brought my own car." she said, holding up the keys.

Hatori gave her a confused look. She's seventeen so she must be driving without a license. He figured it was best to just ignore that fact.

"I will see you later then. Good-bye."

She watched him walk away before going to find her father's nurse.

Once again, Kita thought, Hatori has managed to save me.


	3. What Not To Wear

_Chapter 2_ (What Not To Wear)

The sunlight streamed into the window of Hatori's guest room, waking Kita from a very deep sleep. She had been planning to sleep the rest of her life away but fate had other plans for her. She rubbed her eyes furiously, trying to remember the dream she had last night. She couldn't. She knew that she had dreamt but she could not remember what she had dreamt about to save her life. She just knew that it made her feel happily scared. What a contradiction.

The futon in Hatori's guest room was surprisingly comfortable so sleep had come easy in spite of the trauma of earlier that night. Waking up the next morning and going on with life is the hard part.

As Kita tried desperately to wake herself up, she noticed something in the room that wasn't there last night. Draped over a chair in the corner of the room she saw the clothes she had worn yesterday along with some other articles of clothing that she knew she didn't have with her last night. Had Hatori picked them up at her house for her to wear today? That was nice of him.

She got off the futon and went to see what he had selected for her. There was a black top made of some sort of clingy fabric that had a very low v-neck. Kita liked it but she hadn't worn it in a while so she was satisfied with the choice. There was a skirt to go with it too, a little above the knee with a blue floral pattern. Kita frowned. The skirt had been her mother's and she had only worn it once because it was almost two sizes too big and had an elastic waist so it barely stayed on her. That could be a problem. Then it occurred to her that she didn't have the proper undergarments for such a low shirt. She held the shirt up to her to see exactly how low it was. Yes, that will definitely be a problem also. She looked back at the chair and noticed that underneath the shirt, there was a bra for her. It was black satin and designed for a low shirt but it was one she kept in her bottom drawer because she thought it made her look like a slut. Great, she thought, picking it up off the chair. And on top of that, Hatori was looking in my bottom drawer. She felt her cheeks burn with embarrassment.

She put the clothes back on the chair and walked into Hatori's kitchen. There were some noodles lying out so she poured some for herself and started eating. She never eats breakfast but for some reason she woke up hungry today.

Kita has always had unusual eating habits. She doesn't eat anything at lunch either until she sneaks a snack during school at three o'clock. Then when she gets home, she eats a strange dinner and has a midnight snack later. It's a pretty small amount of food all things considered but Kita can't eat too much because she gets sick to her stomach easily. She's practically immune to fevers and colds but she is paid back in frequent nausea and muscle pains.

Hatori walked in and gave her a weird look.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

Kita furrowed her brows. "Eating breakfast." she said like it should have been obvious.

"It's 1:00." he said matter-of-factly.

"Eating lunch." she said, through a mouth full of noodles.

Hatori rolled his eyes.

"Hey, you could have just picked out a t-shirt and jeans for me to wear today. I don't need a skirt." she said, twirling her chopsticks between her fingers.

"You're going to have to look nice today. I wish you would put on something right now." he said, tearing his eyes away from her. She was wearing one of Hatori's button-down shirts without pajama pants and it was making him uncomfortable.

Before Kita had a chance to ask why she had to look nice today, the door opened and Shigure entered like a beacon of joy.

"Good morning, Ha..." Shigure's voice trailed off as his eyes fell on Kita. He looked her up and down, taking in her attire.

"Hatori, you naughty man, you."

Kita rolled her eyes.

"I'm going to go get dressed. Hatori, you can explain it to him." she said, putting her noodles on the table and walking off to the guest room.

Shigure took a seat, grinning at Hatori who glared in response.

"She spent the night in the guest room. Jiro died last night and I was at the hospital picking up supplies when it happened so I invited her to stay here." he said grimly.

Shigure's smile dropped as he looked remorsefully down the hall.

"Poor girl. After losing her mother, what misfortune could cause such a horrible tragedy to strike her again?" he asked, resting his chin on his fist.

"I don't know but she is going to need some good luck today." he said, lighting a cigarette.

Shigure's eyes widened.

"Don't tell me you're taking her to..."

"There's no other choice." Hatori said, cutting him off. "All she has is family like us now. While distant, she is still restricted to similar rules. It's unavoidable."

"But what about your promise to Mina?" Shigure asked.

Hatori blew out a puff of smoke and sighed.

"Mina would understand."

While they were talking, Kita dressed in the clothes Hatori had gotten for her and looked at herself in the full length mirror. This is not good, she thought, inspecting her appearance. The skirt barely clung to her hipbones. One swift movement and it would fall to her ankles and she would be left to stand in her underwear. As long as I walk slow and keep my hand ready at the waist, I should be okay, she thought.

What there was no cure for was the way her shirt looked. She frantically tugged at it, trying to cover up her exposed cleavage but it was no use. Now it was obvious why she had kept that bra in the bottom drawer. I guess the best I can do, she thought, is hope that whoever I have to see today won't notice. But it's pretty hard not to.

She smoothed down her long locks and walked out of the room with her hand on the waistband on her skirt for safety.

Down the hall, Kita could see Hatori and Shigure talking very seriously, common for Hatori, extremely uncommon for Shigure. She couldn't help but feel that it had something to do with her.

When she got to the kitchen, Shigure's mouth dropped to the floor.

"Kita, you've grown up since I last saw you." he said, staring at her practically bare breasts.

She groaned and wrapped her arms over her chest. She had grown to like Shigure since her last New Year's party but he could be so perverted and it got on her nerves.

"Hatori, why did you have to look in my bottom drawer?" she pleaded.

"I didn't know it made a difference." he said, giving Shigure a slap on the head.

Shigure shook his head as if trying to get back to reality and then stood up from the table.

"Well, I better get going. You two have a big day ahead of you. Good luck, Kita. I wish you the best." he said before exiting Hatori's house.

Kita gave Hatori a confused expression. Her eyes then landed on the cigarette in his hand.

"Could you put that out? You're a doctor for God's sake."

Hatori stubbed the cancerous stick out into an ashtray and Kita smiled. She hated cigarettes and it bothered her whenever she saw someone she cared about hurting themselves.

"Thanks." she said. "Hari, why did Shigure wish me good lu-?"

"We best get going so we aren't late. Come on." Hatori said, cryptically.

"But where-?" Kita started but couldn't finish her question because Hatori had already gotten out the door.


	4. Nightmare Realized

_Chapter 3_ (Nightmare Realized)

"Please Hatori, stop walking for just a second!" Kita yelled as she tried her best to run after him but one big step for him was equivalent to two regular steps for her. Hatori always made her feel so short in comparison. Not to mention, her speed was hindered by the fact that she had to hold up her oversized skirt. Lucky for her, he stopped, giving her a chance to catch up.

"Now, explain to me where the hell we're going." Kita demanded, waving her finger at him. She didn't like it when people kept information from her and she could tell by the sullen mood in the kitchen after she had gotten changed that something bone-chillingly horrifying was going on and that it involved her. She wanted some answers now.

Hatori looked towards the sky. It was a cloudy day but surprising warm for mid-January.

"Kita, do you know that I made a promise to your mother after New Year's twelve years ago?" Hatori asked, insouciantly.

Kita shuddered violently. Her last New Year's: the first time Hatori had saved her. Or did he? Holding down Akito so her mother could whisk her away from him. She often wondered if what Hatori had done for her was what she really, truly wanted.

"No. I have no knowledge of any promise." she said, starting to wonder what he was getting at. He appeared to be avoiding the question.

Hatori turned to face her.

"After what happened that night at the main house, your mother asked me to watch over you and to protect you from the Sohmas, especially if anything were to happen to her. Since you were with your father most of the time and stayed away from Sohma property, there wasn't really a problem and it was easy for me to keep the promise..."

Hatori paused and looked into her broadened yellow-green eyes. Just like Mina's.

"...until now."

Kita's back stiffened. She now understood what he was hinting at. He was taking her to see Akito.

Absent-mindedly, she plopped down onto the cold ground. The grass was damp from a recent downpour of freezing rain but she didn't notice even with the water seeping through her skirt. Her head was spinning so quickly she was having a hard time keeping it on her shoulders.

I have to see Akito.

"Kita, are you okay?" Hatori asked, kneeling down and putting his hand on her forehead even though he knew it wasn't an accurate measure of temperature or degree of illness. Regardless, she was only a little warm.

"I-I'm okay." she said, her voice quivering. She mentally cursed herself for lying so much.

"We're going to see Akito, aren't we?"

She looked sufferingly up at Hatori who looked away from Mina's hurt eyes. He had betrayed both her and Kita by obeying his master. It was a lose-lose situation.

"There's no other choice. He's the head of the family. He has to decide where you will live and who will be your guardian." he said, almost like he was trying to convince himself that he was powerless as well.

Kita felt as if she might faint. Her body started to sway backwards as if she was going to fall directly onto the wet grass but Hatori loosely grabbed her shoulder to steady her, cautious not to hold onto her too closely. If he were to transform, they would be even later.

Her dream last night. She sat bolted upright. She had dreamt about Akito. He was...

She rubbed her forehead, a fierce migraine developing. She couldn't even reflect on it.

Akito's words from that night twelve years ago played on repeat in her mind. _I'm going to marry you one day_. She hasn't seen him in twelve years. They were just little kids then. There is no way he'll still feel that way when she sees him now.

_One day you'll be all mine._

"Does he still...?" Kita stopped talking when she realized that she wasn't quite sure how to phrase all of her curiosities into one inquiry. Does he still act violently when you take something he says the wrong way? Does he still shy away from everyone else? Does he still act possessively when faced with losing something he wants? But Kita realized that all these things paled in importance to the one question weighting heavily on her soul, her soul whose future rests in his hands. Does he still want her?

"He asked for you every New Year's and every family gathering, he requested that you come." Hatori said, responding to her unspoken question.

Kita froze. There's no way he expected her to show up all those times. He never invited her. No one ever invited her. She was in exile, wasn't she? Without her mother, she had no more active ties to the Sohmas.

"He told me to ask you to go." Hatori admitted. "Keeping my promise to Mina, I never told you about it because I thought that after a certain amount of time, he would forget about you and I wanted you to live separate from him. I didn't think you'd ever have to see him again."

"You could have at least told me!" Kita spat angrily at him, finally standing up and surprising them both with her boldness.

"If I had told you he wanted you to go, you would have gone. Am I right?"

Kita's face softened as she nodded guiltily. She would have gone, mostly for her mother and family obligation but a little part of her would have been interested to see Akito again. A masochistic, wicked, little part.

"Then it's a good thing I never told you." Hatori said, unforgivingly. "Now, let's go."

They walked to the main house with no sounds made but the squish of their shoes on the watery grass. A deafening silence seemed to surround the Sohma estate at all hours. Kita had only been there a couple of times other than New Year's and she had always been unnerved by the absence of activity and life. Not that it was always that way, it just seemed like it was.

When they reached the front door, Hatori clasped a hand on her shoulder.

"Remember to be polite, respectful, and humble because you don't want to anger him. If you make him happy, than your fate will probably end up better than anticipated." He said, turning to solace her jitters.

She looked up at him with a fearful expression.

"You're going in with me, aren't you?" she asked, in a frenzy. Who knows what he would do to her if they were alone together.

"Yes, I will." He sighed, dreadfully. "But I can't guarantee that I'll be allowed to stay."


	5. Reunion For The Broken

_**Author's Note:** I have yet to leave an author's note so I thought it was about time._

_First of all, I actually have a soundtrack to this story and I would post lyrics on chapters that correspond to them but I'm not sure if that's a violation or not._

_Second of all, I have these little pictures and things I wish I could put on the chapters but I guess I can't and that can't be helped. Oh well._

_Enjoy._

_Chapter 4_ (A Reunion For The Broken)

Hatori opened the door to the main house and allowed Kita to walk in first. It looked so different without the decorations adorning every nook and cranny. Kita had never seen the inside of the estate without them. It was still beautiful and majestic though. Intricate painted tapestries lined the halls and every so often you would see a vase or some other piece of art on display. It was a very well kept house, as can be expected with all the servants. Not a speck of dust or dirt could be found.

For a brief second, Kita thought that she wouldn't mind living there for two months but then she started thinking about all the possible things that could result from her living there and she decided that she would rather not.

"Take off your shoes," Hatori reminded her, pulling off his own black leather ones.

Kita snapped back to the real world and tried to take off her navy blue ballet slipper-like shoes. They weren't coming off as easily as she had hoped and she started to jump around, trying desperately to get the infernal footwear off. Her skirt was slipping off her hips in the process so in one swift motion, she took off her shoe and grabbed her skirt before it could fall and placed the flat shoes by the door next to his. She hadn't noticed when they walked in but she and Hatori had been approached by an elderly man in a plain-colored yukata. He gave her an odd look after having witnessed her dance but just shrugged her off as an ill-mannered sort of girl even though Kita is the antithesis of ill-mannered.

"Follow me." he said unenthusiastically, walking down the long, familiar hall.

Kita pretended to be busy adjusting her socks so Hatori would walk in front of her. She didn't want to be the first to enter Akito's room although it probably didn't matter too much. Either way she would get singled out by him but it made her feel better to fool herself into thinking it made a difference.

Their guide stopped in front of the door with its tree designs that Kita remembered so well, not as tall seeming or as mystifying but still just as peculiar. It didn't have the same light emanating from it as it did all those years ago. In fact, it looked rather dark on the other side.

"You may go in now." the guide said simply before bowing and walking away, leaving Hatori and Kita to stare at the door, frozen in time.

"Ready?" Hatori asked her finally, putting his hand on the handle.

"Yeah." she said, not fully believing it. What other choice did she have? She could feel sweat forming above her brow and her hands were already shaking. This is it.

Hatori slid the door aside and they both entered slowly. It was very dark for one thirty in the afternoon. The only dull light was coming through the door that lead outside which was opened the most minuscule amount. Akito was standing undisturbed in front of the crack in the door with his back to them. Hatori knelt down on the floor facing him. Kita followed suit, making sure to carefully tuck her skirt behind her heels so it wouldn't come off. She tried to remain so quiet that he wouldn't hear two people enter. Maybe he wouldn't turn around and would end up thinking Hatori is the only one in the room. There's still a chance that he didn't know she was coming.

After kneeling in silence for a very long minute, Akito spoke.

"Hatori, why is it that you have come to see me?" he asked, still facing the door.

His voice sent chills down Kita's spine. She had forgotten how cold his voice was, even if it has changed since he was seven.

"There is a situation regarding the residence and guardianship of a Sohma." Hatori said, formally. Akito remained quiet, waiting for him to continue.

"She has been recently orphaned by the death of her father and since she doesn't have any grandparents or aunts and uncles, she needs a new place to live and a guardian at least until she graduates high school which will be in two months." Hatori finished. Kita mentally thanked him for not mentioning her name.

"A recent death of a Sohma?" Akito pondered suspiciously. "Why haven't I heard about this?" he demanded. Kita tried to remain still but fear was starting to take its toll on her body. There was no way this masquerade could continue without her identity being exposed.

"Because...he...was...exiled." Hatori said slowly, lowering his head in shame. Kita's nerves tensed and her pulse quickened to a deadly rate. She had no way out now.

Akito perked up, straightening his posture and turning around slowly, his eyes immediately falling on Kita, whose head was bowed low. She made it look like she was trying to be respectful but in reality she was too terrified to look up. Akito smiled evilly.

"Kita, it certainly has been a long time." he said, looking down at her lustfully. He was right in choosing her. She had grown up to be a pretty, matured version of the adorable little kid she was when she was five.

"Hatori, you may leave the room." he said, his gaze never leaving Kita. "I think Kita and I have some catching up to do."

Kita tried to smother her involuntary shudder but failed. Akito's smile dropped as he glowered at the frightened girl before him.

Hatori reluctantly stood up from the floor and exited the room with one last sorrowful looked at Kita.

I'm so sorry Mina, he thought to himself as he walked shiftlessly down the hallway. Jiro, I wish I could have helped her. Now, it's up to Kita to protect herself.

Akito sat down on the floor in front of Kita and placed his hand under her chin, lifting her head up towards his. He was handsome, Kita decided. She didn't want to believe it to be true but it was. Like her, he hadn't gone through any drastic changes in appearance since he was young. He looked like nothing more than an aged version of his younger self.

"Poor little Kita." he said, cupping her chin in his hand, his bony fingers curling around her jaw. "No parents to protect you from this big, bad world."

He gently stroked her cheek with one of his long fingers. Kita's back stiffened and she felt nervous excitement creep through her like a cool breeze on a scorching hot day.

"Don't worry. From now on, I'll protect you. You'll live here with me starting tomorrow and I won't let anything bad happen to you."

Kita's eyes widened. Remembering the time he had slapped her, she was sure he meant that he'll protect her from everything but himself. Today seemed to be safe though. He was so pleased to see her that maybe she had nothing to fear. Maybe the worst thing that could happen to her would be that he would make an advance on her. And that wouldn't be bad at all.

"Now that we have that settled, there's something I've wanted to ask you." Akito said, in a way that made Kita nervous again.

"Why didn't you come to New Year's after your mother died? Every year, I was kind enough to invite you but every year you failed to show up." His eerily serene voice made Kita wonder if this was the calm before the storm.

"Hatori.." she started but Akito pressed his index finger to her lips as if to say he wasn't finished.

"I wanted to see you again. I missed you a lot." He whispered, tickling her ear with his hot breath.

He ran the finger that was once keeping her mouth shut, over her closed lips, down her chin and throat, and her breasts until it reached her bellybutton. She watched the finger violate her body but didn't try to stop it. She didn't want to stop it.

The finger was then removed from her stomach and Kita looked down disappointed.

Before she could wrap her mind around the foreign feelings he was evoking in her, the hand that harbored that finger reached out and made contact with the side of her face, knocking her to the floor. Her head hit the floor the hardest, causing sharp pains to go straight to her brain like daggers being hurled at her temples. She was struck with intense vertigo and her vision faded out, temporarily going black. She rubbed her head furiously, trying to alleviate some of the pain but finding her efforts to be fruitless. Audibly, she had made no noise during the entire interaction: no cry, no pained groan, no scream. The only sounds to be heard were the sounds of his hand hitting her face and her head hitting the floor.

Kita curled her legs in towards her chest, trying with all her strength to slow the spinning in her head. She tried to conjure tears in hopes of getting sympathy like when she was five, but even a crocodile's cry wouldn't come to her. In spite of how badly she wanted to, she had been hurt too badly to cry, something she had assumed was impossible. Motionless, she laid on the floor wondering why he did this to her. Why did he confuse her so much?

Akito stood up casually and walked over to her decrepit, wretched form. Her skirt had fallen to her knees during the fall, exposing her lower half to him. Akito smirked at her and gradually pulled her skirt back up to her hips, allowing his hands to stroke the bare skin as he did.

He stood back up and put his foot onto her shoulder, pushing her onto her back and causing her to collide with the floor again, spreading new pains through her skull. He wanted to stare into her eyes while he spoke to her. He liked to see the fear he put in them.

"See Kita? This is what happens when you don't do as I say. Hopefully this lesson will be enough to teach you that. You're lucky that I didn't give you a longer punishment after twelve years of neglect."

He took his foot off her shoulder and walked towards the door, leaving her sprawled out on the floor.

"Goodnight, little Kita. Tomorrow will be move-in day." he crooned as he exited the room. He needed to find Hatori or one of the servants to go pick up the mess he made.

Now I'm finally getting paid back two months early, he thought grinning. Such a pretty, new toy I have.


	6. Pretty In Black

_**Author's Note:** Many thanks to those of you who have sent me reviews!_

_This chapter is really emotional (what a shocker) but hopeful towards the end._

_As always, enjoy. On with the show!_

_Chapter 5_ (Pretty In Black)

The wind blew wildly causing Kita's face to be covered in a mass of violet tresses. Trying to remain collected and in control, she pushed the strands away from her face and smoothed them down neatly. What a cold day for a funeral.

She hadn't dressed with the weather in mind, only her father. She was wearing a simple black dress that had a flowing skirt and a fitted sleeveless top. Around her neck and in her ears dangled the onyx and silver jewelry Jiro had bought her for her last birthday. She felt it was a fitting day to wear it but wondered how she would ever be able to bring herself to take it off again.

On her left cheek, there was a deep scratch caused by one of Akito's nails. She had done a pretty good job of covering it up but Hatori wasn't fooled. After Akito had beaten her, Hatori had been the one to carry her back to his house where she spent the night in the guest room again. He didn't want to tell her that he was feeling guilty about not being there when she needed him. She was like a little sister to him and he knew that if he had told her about his guilt she would just get independent and say she can handle things on her own.

Other than the scratch, she had two large bumps on her head from the times she had collided with the floor. Conveniently, they were similar in color to her hair but, just to be safe, she had parted her hair on the side to cover up the obvious protrusions and hoped no one would pat her on the head.

She had borrowed Hatori's jacket after frequently telling him she wasn't cold. After about five 'I swear I'm fines', he had handed it over claiming she would catch a cold. She told him she didn't get ill anymore but took the jacket anyway, knowing she was still susceptible to frostbite and hypothermia.

He gave a sad look to the ground at her comment. That was good news for Akito, but bad news for Kita. He'll now have a good excuse for wanting her around to care for him every time he gets sick, which is often. He's determined to have her around for the rest of his life already.

The funeral was an unconventional one, considering the circumstances. Since attendance to the funeral was sure to be low, it was a funeral and a wake in one. That way, the people who did want to pay their last respects to Jiro wouldn't be burdened with two separate events.

It was organized by Jiro's friends who were of the few attendants to the funeral. The humble event involved a ceremony inside, followed by the actual burial and a chance for everyone to individually say good-bye, and then ended with a sort of reception that was supposed to be like a wake, only happier. How Jiro would have wanted it.

Other than the crowd of four middle-aged men that were Jiro's friends, a few other Sohmas had come including Hatori and Shigure. They were the only Zodiac members who had known Jiro. He had been banished when they were only six but they had still seen him on numerous occasions. Hatori secretly gave him medical care and when he would make house calls, Shigure would tag along to visit with Jiro and Kita. The last two people who had come were friends of Kita's, Hoshiko and Raidon, both of whom had known Jiro very well.

Hoshiko has been Kita's friend since they were in their last year of elementary school. Hoshiko was the new kid in school and she was feeling out of place. Lucky for them, she had gotten paired up to work on an assignment during class with Kita, who was feeling just as out of place even though she had been going to the school for years. The girls were quiet for a long time as they sat together so to break the tension Hoshiko had said, "It's nice to be with someone who feels as awkward as I do right now." They had a big laugh and became friends from then on.

She has a pretty wild personality and frequently doesn't know when she should stop talking or what she should and shouldn't say. Sometimes people perceive her as rude and untamed. Hoshiko's other problem is that she has a tendency to be attracted to younger guys who turn out to be jerks so she has had many dead-end relationships with first and second years from other schools. There are times where she really reminds Kita of Ayame or even Shigure with her uncensored speech and obsession with romantic relationships. In spite of their differences, she is very nurturing towards people she loves, like Kita.

Raidon and Kita have known each other since they were in their second year of middle school. Raidon had gone to the same school as Kita and Hoshiko the year before but wasn't in their class until their second year. Raidon was an outcast like them so they naturally gravitated towards each other. He didn't have any friends and people thought he was weird because he looked 'punk-like.' Despite his harsh, dyed red hair and ear piercings, he's a terribly shy pacifist and extremely intelligent. He and Kita have the same wishes to go to a university, unlike Hoshiko who wants nothing more to do with school after graduation.

In their last year of middle school, Kita and Raidon had dated for a little while. Everyone was getting boyfriends and girlfriends so they decided to go out with each other; the whole school thought they were dating anyway. They broke up after two months because there wasn't any actual chemistry between them. They were just better as friends and they pretty much knew that going into the relationship. Still, the friendship between the three is rock solid and will never be interrupted again. Hopefully.

Hoshiko and Raidon didn't know about the Sohma family or Akito. They just thought she had to move in there because it was the only family she had left. Kita knew that they couldn't know about anything like the curse but she thought it was best that they didn't know about Akito either. It would just distress them.

Akito had not attended the funeral, not that anyone expected him to. He had not known Jiro since he was banished before Akito was born and it probably would be considered blasphemous for him to attend the funeral of an exiled Sohma. He had apparently stayed up late and was still asleep when Hatori left for the ceremony, even though last night he had asked Hatori to visit him before he went.

Huddled inside one of the outside gazebos, the group waited for their turn with Jiro. Kita sat like a cracked, monolithic being hidden in the corner of a graveyard. She was going to be the last one to say good-bye. On one side of her sat Shigure and Hatori and Hoshiko and Raidon sat on her other side. She couldn't help but think they were trying to create a security blanket for her just in case she broke down in tears or needed comforting words.

"How are you holding up?" Raidon asked.

"I'm okay." Kita muttered, staring at her hands.

"You don't seem okay. Every second you look more terrible." Hoshiko stated, pushing Kita's hair away from her face. Kita gave her a look.

She hadn't cried since that day in the hospital. She didn't like letting people see her cry. She didn't want people to try to help her. She wanted to help them. In fact, the only people who have ever seen her cry are her mother and father, Hatori, and Akito. She wouldn't even let Hoshiko or Raidon see her cry.

So instead she sat in somber recollection. Her father: a man who risked his life for the women he loved; a man who protected his daughter from any pain that came her way; a man who would drop everything to help a friend; loyal, hard-working, caring, and gone forever.

Kita bit her lip and the tears were forced back. She knew she wouldn't be able to hide them forever, but she could try. She wanted a hug more than anything, something she would never dare ask for. She needed someone to hold her, soothe her, and say that everything will be good again but her friends were both staring into oblivion, also in remembrance, and she could never hug Hatori or Shigure. She was stuck alone again.

"Kita, it's your turn." said Kazuo, one of Jiro's friends, as he walked into the gazebo.

Kita stood shakily, looking at the bittersweet smiles surrounding her. Hoshiko stood up and gave her what she had been internally begging for, a hug. Somehow, it didn't ease her as much as she had been hoping. Although it was what she had been asking for, it was not what she had been looking for. It didn't console her like she thought a hug would.

She walked slowly out into the cemetery, past headstones of all shapes and sizes. Jiro was to be buried in the town cemetery, away from the Sohma family's temple and next to Mina. Most thought Mina had been laid to rest in the Sohma temple, she even had a headstone there, but there was nothing underneath it.

Kita felt that her father deserved a large, elaborate place of rest but knew he wouldn't be happy with that. He would tell her not to waste her money on him and that he already got more than he deserved with having her in his life.

She slumped over the headstone, numbness setting in as her mouth went dry.

"Hi dad. How are you?" she said quietly.

She shook her head. "That's a stupid question. I'm doing fine, I guess. I spent the last two nights sleeping in Hatori's guest room but today I'm going to move into the main house. I know that probably upsets you and that you're worried about me and how I'll be treated there, but I have no other choice." Kita sighed and continued.

"The head of the family, Akito, decided that I would live there. He wants to protect me like you used to. Now all I have to do is protect myself from him."

She licked her finger, surprised that she still had saliva in her mouth. Then she dragged her finger over the scratch, allowing the cover-up to get smeared away. She motioned to the now fully visible, thin scab on her cheek.

"He really likes me, but he has a problem controlling his anger and that frightens me. But please don't worry about me. I can handle him. Soon I'll be out of there and I'll be off to a university. I'm going to become everything you thought I could be, dad."

Kita touched the frozen grave.

"Don't worry about me. I can manage everything on my own. I have people who can help me: Hatori, Raidon, Hoshiko, Shigure and I'm sure there's more that I just can't think of right now." Kita wiped her running nose on the back of her palm. The bitter breeze was starting to make her weak. She fell to her knees in front of the tombstone.

"I love you, dad. I love you so much." she said weepy. "I miss you more than anything!" She cried out, falling into a bow on the frozen ground. "Mom, take care of him."

She covered her face with her hands, tears still unshed.

"Goodbye dad. Good...bye."

--------------------------------------------------------------

"You know that you will have to get out sometime within the next five minutes, right?" Hatori said, tapping on the car window. Kita was sitting in the passenger seat staring at the main house. It all felt so surreal.

After the funeral, everyone had gone back to Jiro's house to tell stories about him and try to feel better. They left after a few hours but Hoshiko, Raidon, and Hatori had stayed behind to help Kita pack up her things. She wasn't taking all of her possessions with her, just the ones she would need within the next two months. If she ever needed anything specific, she could just get someone to drive her back home.

While they were packing, Hatori had informed her that Jiro's house technically belonged to her and that she would be able to move in after graduation, when she would no longer need a guardian. She wouldn't get actual ownership of the house until she turned twenty but she didn't mind at all. It brought her spirits up a little to know that no one would try to take her father's possessions or their house which contained so many memories.

Now, she was sitting in Hatori's car while he took her suitcase and bag out of the trunk. She didn't want to go in. Her father dying, having to move into the main house, Akito's promises, it was all just a bizarre dream.

Hatori tapped on the window again.

"Kita, now." he said sternly.

She sighed and got out into the cold air still dressed in her black dress and jewelry. She haphazardly threw her bag over her shoulder and wheeled her suitcase up to the main house. After not hearing any footsteps behind her, she suspiciously glanced over her shoulder and saw that Hatori wasn't following her.

"Hatori?" she asked, inquisitively.

"I'm not coming in. I have work to attend to. You should be fine." he said, emotionlessly. Kita couldn't read his facial expression. Either way, she would have to be able to live in the Sohma house without protection from anyone so it was probably best that he didn't come in.

"Okay. Bye." she said, almost inaudibly.

She entered the house, dropping her bag on the floor and pulling off her black boots, remembering to put them where she had the last time she had been there.

Instead of being greeted by the elderly servant, she was met by a tall, brunette man who looked to be about Hatori's age and had a stoic expression.

"You must be Kita. I'll show you to your room." he said nonchalantly.

Kita stood confounded for a moment but quickly picked up her stuff when she realized he was already walking away. He hadn't introduced himself or checked to make sure she actually was Kita or even said hello.

She followed him down the hall and instantly felt her heart rate quicken. They were walking towards Akito's room. Was she supposed to stay in _his_ room?

Much to Kita's relief, the man walked past Akito's room and motioned to the door next to it.

"This will be your room. It has some basic furniture but you may pick out new things if you want and the house will pay for them. For now, just get unpacked." he stated briefly before turning to leave.

"Wait!" Kita shouted down the hall. The man stopped and turned around.

"I'm going to be living here for a while so I'd like to, um, meet everyone who works here. What is your name?" Kita was trying to be less shy, figuring that she would have to see these people every day anyway.

"I'm Kureno."

"What do you do here, Kureno?" she asked, genuinely curious.

"I work with Akito: reporting news, handling the Sohma funds, that sort of thing."

Akito's...secretary? That seems like a fitting word, Kita thought. I guess the head of the family must have a lot more to do than I thought. Or maybe he's more of a spy for him. Either way, I should be cautious.

"Oh, okay then. Nice to meet you." Kita stammered.

"Likewise." he said, his face never changing. Kita watched him walk down the hallway until he was out of sight.

He's a lot like Hatori. It's amazing how much I don't even know yet about this house and this family, she thought to herself as she finally entered her new room.

It was fairly simple. The room contained a queen-sized bed with surprisingly pleasant sheets. Kita ran her hand over the fine fabric, Egyptian cotton and light blue in color. Beside the bed, there was a white nightstand with a bouquet of tiger lilies on it, a wooden bookshelf that contained a few old books, and an empty dresser. Kita remembered what Kureno had said. _You may pick out new things if you want and the house will pay for them._ At least she had something to do.

She unzipped her suitcase and starting putting her clothes into the dresser drawers, lining up her CDs and books in the bookcase, and putting her toiletries neatly on her nightstand. It took barely ten minutes to unpack all her things. She wasn't a very materialistic person.

From the bottom of her suitcase, she extracted two framed pictures, the last things to unpack. One was a picture of her, Hoshiko, and Raidon sitting on her porch one fall day last year. They had just been hanging out and talking about Hoshiko's newest love interest when Jiro had pulled out a camera. When it was taken, Kita didn't realize that Hoshiko was striking a model-like pose, trying to toss her shoulder-length black hair over her shoulder and look annoyed, and Raidon was giving the peace sign with a 'too cool for you' expression. She looked so strange being the only one smiling and acting normal. It always made her laugh.

The other one was of her mom and dad standing in front of a sunset when they were young, right after they had gotten married. She had found it in the hallway closet when she was looking for her umbrella and decided to take it with her. They looked so happy and perfect together that it tugged at her heartstrings. Her parents, both dead.

She set up the frames on her bookshelf and then laid down on her bed.

The tears welled up in her eyes and she finally let them flow, moistening the soft pillow she was resting on. She was alone; tears were allowed. All the pain from the past two days began to be released in the form of saline liquid, running down her chin and into her mouth like an uncontrollable tempest. This can't be real.

"Oh Kita." spoke a voice from the doorway. A cold, deep voice.

Akito leaned against the frame of the door, watching Kita weep. She couldn't tell if his voice was sympathetic or mocking but she decided that she didn't care. She continued to cry in spite of his presence.

He was enjoying watching her cry. He wasn't feeling very good so it was nice to see someone who was more broken up than he was. He briefly thought about using her current mental state to his advantage but was feeling too tired to. There will be plenty of time for that later, when she's got more energy.

"You look so beautiful in black, Kita." he said casually, like they were just making conversation.

Kita forced herself to sit up on the edge of the bed and tried to keep her nose from running. Akito looked down upon her, his usual smirk not present. He liked seeing someone more depressed than him, although he wasn't used to seeing people cry and it was making him the tiniest bit uncomfortable. But she was so pretty when she cried that it didn't matter.

She tilted her head up and gazed into his charcoal eyes, her own yellow-green ones still dripping with sorrow. She thought back to New Year's, something she had been doing a lot lately. She thought about how she had been crying after he had hit her and how he had held her and made her feel better. Maybe some things never change.

Kita stood up and wrapped her arms around his unhealthy, slender frame, burying her face in his yukata. She wept, tears falling onto his chest and covering her face. Akito seemed taken aback by the gesture but after getting over his initial surprise, he wrapped one arm around her waist and ran the hand on his other arm through her long, glossy hair.

Kita was overwhelmed with that feeling again. She was feeling contented, soothed. She looked up at him and he was actually smiling. He liked that she needed him.

He bent forward and kissed her gently, unlike when they were young, drinking in the salty taste of her tears like it was long awaited nourishment. She kissed back, losing herself, forgetting her grief. How could someone so belligerent evoke such a tranquil, hopeful feeling in her?

When he moved away, she leaned against him and let the last few tears leave. Her shoulders shook fiercely as if she would fall over so Akito held a tighter grip on her, determined not to let her fall over or decide that she's fine without him.

"There, there little Kita. Everything will be just fine."


	7. This Time Imperfect

_**Author's Note:** I just burnt my late-night rice. I think the water to rice ratio was off or something. I've never burned rice before. I feel pretty inadequate right now._

_Anyway, here's another chapter. I like posting old stories because then I don't feel pressure to write faster._

_Enjoy!_

_Chapter 6_ (This Time Imperfect)

Kita woke up the next morning and couldn't for the life of her figure out where she was. She turned off her irritating, buzzing alarm clock without opening her eyes and tried to decipher her location by pure feeling; she was too sleepy to actually look around. She wasn't on the futon in Hatori's guest room, nor the comfort of her own bed although this one was very comfortable. It was bigger than the bed she had at home and the sheets were made of the most creamy soft material.

Then it occurred to her that she was in her new room. She snapped her eyes open. She was in the main house, in her new designated room, adjacent to Akito's by a seemingly thin wall. And today is her first day back to school since all this has happened. She groaned. Yesterday was Monday and she and her friends had taken the day off for the funeral but now she had no excuse but to go to school.

Kita threw back the sheets and swung her legs over the side of the bed, giving herself a moment to remember where the bathroom is. When her memory came back, she gathered her face wash and make-up from her nightstand drawer and indolently made her way across the hall.

The only make-up Kita wears is cover-up. It's the only make-up she has ever worn aside from the little extra on a special occasion. Ever since she was nine years old, she's been using all sorts of cover-up to hide her imperfections. When other girls were secretly slopping on pastel blue eyeshadow, Kita was trying to decide which foundation was a better match for her skin tone. Throughout the years, she has been improving her technique. She's gone through bottles of foundations, tons of cover sticks, and various powders until she found the right ones and the best method of application. She has gotten so good at it that she only owns one bottle of foundation, one cover stick, and one powder compact and she doesn't even have to use all three every day.

But don't think that Kita has anything abnormal to cover: pimples, redness, the occasional bruise, or, in this case, scratch, but never anything so horrible that no one should be allowed to see it. But she doesn't _want_ anyone to see any of them so every morning she covers them up.

After thoroughly washing her face, Kita took out her cover stick and dabbed it along the scratch. It was getting less visible but it was still there in all its dubious glory. She grabbed the compact and swept powder over the cover-up to set it and make it last all day and then put a thin layer of powder over the rest of her face to cover up any uneven coloring.

There, she thought, looking in the mirror. I'm about as ready as I'll ever be to face today.

She walked back to her room and got dressed in her uniform which had been cleaned last night by one of the servants and was neatly hanging on the back of her door. As she dressed, she took a good look at her new room and decided that there wasn't anything worth changing about it. The walls were a pale blue-green color and the drapes were an indigo shade that kept the light out of her room well on sunny mornings. The bookshelf looked very personalized with Kita's pictures, CDs, books, and movies that lived harmoniously among the books that were already there and some abstract pieces of art. The tiger lilies added to the relaxing mood of the room. She wondered if they were there as sort of a funny addition, since she is the child of the former tiger. It really was a nice room, even if it was a temporary one, and Kita thought she would enjoy looking over the books that were there before she moved in when she gets home. Strange how it's already home even if it has yet to become _home_.

She filled her bag with her schoolbooks and left her new room, in no hurry.

She started walking down the hallway but stopped only a meter away from her door. Akito's room. Should she stop in and say hi? He was so nice to her last night and she was living with him after all. It seemed only right.

Kita knocked quietly on the door in case he was still asleep but there was no answer. She reached for the handle, figuring that if he really was asleep, it wouldn't matter if she checked in on him quickly. If he were awake, he would have said something so she wouldn't have to be afraid of walking in on him getting dressed or anything like that. Not that he would mind if she did.

She had barely started to apply force to the door handle when a voice from behind startled her.

"He's sleeping."

Kita jumped and whipped her head around. She was met with Kureno's imperturbable stare.

"Good morning, Kureno. Um, I just wanted to greet Akito but I guess..."

"I'll make sure he gets the message." Kureno interrupted.

"Thank you." Kita said, letting go of the handle.

"Would you like some breakfast?" Kureno asked. "I've been informed to keep your portions small but there are a few options in the room down the hall."

Small potions? Does Akito think I'm _fat_ or something? Kita wondered. Kita had never thought of herself as being fat or skinny for that matter. She was healthy-looking with a slender shape that some may have described as a bit boyish because of her not-particularly-pronounced curves. Well, I guess I am in comparison to him, she thought, deciding not to let it get to her. He would probably think anyone is large since he is so thin. It doesn't really matter; he still likes her regardless.

"No thanks. I don't eat breakfast and I should probably get going anyway. I didn't realize how much further away this place is from the school." she said.

"Alright. Have a good day." he said, already taking off in another direction.

"You too." Kita shouted down the hall.

She walked outside into the cold January air and took a deep breath. Whatever happens today, I can't allow myself to break down, she thought. When I get back to the main house, I can be as broken-down and teary-eyed as long as I want with my door closed and no one around to hear me.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Her body wearing down quickly, Kita fell back against the wall, allowing her knees to give out. She slid onto the floor like a ragdoll, her arms and legs immobilized in the volatile mixture of overexertion, malnourishment, and desolate emotions. Existence was too much to handle.

Her day was only about three quarters of the way through and she couldn't fathom how she would be able to live through that last quarter. She felt sick but she knew it was a psychosomatic sort of sickness. Her mental state was affecting her physical health. On top of that, she couldn't concentrate on what was being taught to her and she could barely hold her head up properly.

Currently, she was supposed to be in gym class but she couldn't bring herself to change for class, never mind the actual physical activity it would require. Instead she walked to an empty corridor and collapsed. The failing grade she'll receive for the day doesn't mean a thing. She's going to graduate in two months anyway.

All of this stress is too much. Kita thought back to last year when it was big news that some first year girl named Tohru Honda had lost her mom in a car accident, leaving her orphaned. She had come to school with a big smile and an obnoxiously perky attitude like she was all better. Bullshit. You can't just change your emotions like that. I may be a liar, thought Kita, but at least I don't try to pull a complete one-eighty in my behavior. I would like to meet this Tohru Honda one day so I could try to understand why she seems to have taken the Sohma family by storm.

Kita could feel the familiar choking feeling of tears starting but resisted. She remembered how her dad used to console her and tell her to cry but not too much because she could make herself ill. She should heed that advice.

"Kita? Is that you?"

She heard a male voice to her right but couldn't find the strength to lift her head off her shoulder and look. In the empty hallway, the boy's light footsteps were audible to Kita as he walked over to her other side so he could view her better.

She lifted her eyes up from the floor and saw Hatsuharu standing over her looking concerned.

"Kita. I haven't seen you in months. You don't look good." he said, sizing up the fallen girl on the floor.

"I look how I feel." she said, simply.

Haru was having a hard time believing the image before him. Kita always looked so happy with her friends and in crowds of strangers she would fade away, but he had never seen her look _torn_ like she did now.

"What's wrong?" he asked. Apparently news doesn't travel fast in-between grades. Everyone in Kita's homeroom knew about her father but the story had yet to travel around the Sohma house. It will soon enough.

"My dad died Saturday night." she said, eyes dropping to the floor again.

Haru's gray eyes widened. How is it that no one has said anything?

"I'm so sorry." he said. "I wish I could have gotten the chance to meet him. I heard he was a really funny, generous guy."

Kita tried to nod but couldn't. "He was."

"Where are you living now? You aren't living on your own are you?" he asked. Living on her own seemed like the kind of thing Kita would do. She was always a bit of an independent, even though she loves company from people she cares about.

"No, I'm not. I'm living in the same place as you now."

"You're living at Sohma House!" he asked, dumbstruck.

"Yeah." she said, unenthusiastically.

"Where exactly?" he asked, trying to figure out why their paths haven't crossed.

"In the main house, next to Akito." she said, monotonously.

Haru calmed down at the mention of Akito. He had heard rumors about his infatuation with Kita when they were little kids but he didn't think anything of them. Maybe they weren't just rumors...

"Kita!" someone shouted down the hall. This time Kita was able to lift her head off her shoulder and look to see who it was, even though the voice was unmistakable. Raidon was running towards her dressed in his gym uniform.

"Kita, what happened?" he asked quietly, now aware that she had been talking to the white-haired boy in front of her.

"Rai, I fell and I can't get back up." To her own ears, she sounded like a gloomy drunk who turned up in an alley in the bad part of town.

"This is Haru by the way." she said, motioning to him. "He's a Sohma and a first year."

"Nice to meet you." Hatsuharu said, bowing respectfully. Raidon eyed him confused for a second and then timidly bowed as well.

"Nice to meet you too." he said, the words feeling strange. It was rare for Raidon to be meeting someone who was polite and civilized. Usually he met people who would take one look at him, scowl, and walk away. This Haru guy though actually reminded him of himself a bit with his ear piercings, dyed hair, and placid humor.

"I should get back to class. You can take over from here right?" Haru asked Raidon. He nodded and sat down on the floor next to Kita.

"I'll see you around Kita."

She tried to verbalize some sort of response but couldn't find the words before Hatsuharu disappeared from the hallway.

"Rai, you can go back to class. I don't want you to fail because of me." Kita said weakly.

Raidon put his arm around her in a friendly embrace.

"I dressed, I was there, I participated, I'm fine." he said. "However, I should probably go get Hoshi if we're going to ditch gym to hang out here. She'd slaughter us if she knew we were just wasting time sitting while she had to run and that you were all broken like this and she couldn't help fix it."

Kita cracked a smile. Hoshiko hated gym more than Raidon and Kita combined. She was probably cursing them right now.

"Okay. Go get her." Kita said, feeling a little better.

"Alright. Now don't get any crazy ideas like moving or anything like that." he said with a feigned commanding tone, pointing at her.

Kita's smile spread a little wider.

"I promise I won't do anything of the sort." she joked. It was nice to be reminded that she still had people who cared.

In spite of how well that part of the day went, it all went downhill from there. When Kita got back to the main house, she locked herself in her room and refused to come out for anything. The day had worn her down so badly all she could think about was lying in her bed for the next twelve hours. No dinner. No visits. No Akito. He was sick anyway.

He wouldn't want to see me if he's sick, Kita thought. I have nothing to leave this room for.


	8. A Different Kind Of Lesson

_**Author's Note:** Reading my own work is sickening me right now. I wrote this so long ago, I should have at least done some hefty editing. Oh well._

_I actually have all the chapters dated. The date for this chapter is Wednesday, January 29. Quite neurotic of me to do it, but since pretty much every chapter effects the next, it was kind of necessary. _

_By the way, the title of the last chapter was the title of a hidden AFI track. Look at the lyrics to it._

_Enjoy, regardless._

_Chapter 7_ (A Different Kind Of Lesson)

"Kita, wake up. Akito wants to see you now." Kureno said, opening the door to her room.

Kita was already awake but still lying down in the luxury of her Egyptian cotton sheets. She had gone to bed drastically early last night after crying herself sick and had woken up ten minutes ago because of some noise coming from Akito's room. She looked at the clock and realized that she still had twenty minutes before her alarm would go off and, on top of that, she had set it a half hour earlier than yesterday after almost being late for school.

Kita got out of bed and stretched her hands high above her head. For once, she felt well-rested but still not ready to start her day. She had a fear that today would be another day like yesterday but hoped that each passing day would become easier and easier as the tears dried and the wounds healed. She was already feeling decently satisfied with the idea of being awake and alive. Seeing Akito didn't sound so bad after all. In a way, she missed him already which seemed like a strange thing to think after having just started living here. However, remembering how fussy everyone is about looking meticulously perfect when you see him, she concluded that she needed to at least wash her face first.

"Does it have to be this second? I'd like to get ready for school before I see him." she said, already reaching for her cleanser. Kureno sighed and gave a bewildered look at her attire. She was wearing her school uniform after having fallen asleep in it last night. It was pretty wrinkled and stretched in odd contortions from sleeping but it would have to do.

"Okay but make sure you do it quickly. He's very impatient this morning." He warned.

Kita didn't need to be told twice. She grabbed her face wash and powder and stumbled into the hallway, practically sprinting for the bathroom. When she came to it, the door was shut and locked.

"Oh come on!" Kita said loudly. "I only need the bathroom for two minutes tops. I have to see Akito. Please hurry up."

The door unexpectedly swung open. Kita was surprised that her request actually spawned results and especially surprised to see Haru standing there looking extremely sleepy. He doesn't even live here, she thought confused.

"It's all yours." he said, stepping aside. "Good luck."

Kita felt like she should have at least said thanks but her mind started racing at the words good luck. Am I in for something bad, she wondered as she ran the hot water. Do Kureno and Haru know something I don't know?

She frantically powdered her face, the evanescent scratch nearly gone. Then she ran her fingers through her disheveled hair and tried to smooth the wrinkles out of her day-old uniform. She hadn't been scared to see him before. Cruel fate.

Once she looked presentable, she walked slowly to Akito's door and slide it aside; she didn't feel the need to knock. He had requested her presence in the first place so he was expecting her prompt arrival.

Considering the fact that he had been sick yesterday, he seemed well, or at least normal for him. He was sitting down to the right of her, huddled around the heater, his back against the column near what could be called the front of the room. She knelt down in front of him.

"Good morning Akito." she said, not quite sure if it was acceptable to wish him a good morning but deciding that he'd probably appreciate the greeting anyway.

He lifted his head up a little towards the ceiling but didn't look at her. His dark hair fell around his face, making it hard for Kita to see his reaction.

"Where were you yesterday, Kita?" he asked mistrustfully but still maintaining his composure.

Kita felt the familiar shiver his voice caused run from the frontal lobe of her brain to the bottom of her feet. He was acting in that creepy way he normally acts before he gets violent. What did she do wrong?

"I-I was at school." she said fumbling with her words a bit and praying that was a sufficient answer.

Akito laughed curtly and did not smile.

"I mean after school. Where were you?" He put his feet up on the heater, waiting for a response even though it didn't really interest him anyway. There's no excuse for what she did.

"I-I was in my room the entire night." she said, fidgety. She hadn't done anything that would be disgraceful to the family or disloyal to him. He seemed to think she belonged to him and she wasn't about to argue with him about it.

Akito stood up and walked towards her, adjusting his yukata to keep it from falling too far off his shoulders. He stood over her and she closed her eyes, preparing for a paroxysm of the most virulent nature.

"I was sick yesterday, Kita. Very sick. And I wanted you to come and take care of me. I missed you and it made me very sad that you didn't want to help me feel better." He ran his hand through a strand of her hair. She gritted her teeth, afraid he might pull it.

"I missed you too." she said truthfully. She really did miss him yesterday. While she was locked in her room, she was thinking about how he had consoled her after the funeral and how much she wished he could do it again.

"I wanted to see you but I thought that since you were sick, you wouldn't want to be bothered."

Akito let the strand of hair slip through his bony fingers and something occurred to him that he had not considered. She didn't know what being head of the family entailed; she only knew about how everyone must obey him. She didn't know about the burden he must suffer with the full weigh of the Zodiac curse or about how he will die a premature death. I won't tell her yet, he thought. I'll save that unpleasantness for later.

"I'm not going to punish you. You didn't know. However, in the future when I'm sick again, your care will be much appreciated."

Internally, Kita let out a sigh of relief. This wasn't so bad a visit. I'll just have to watch my step carefully, she thought. Although I never agreed to it, I am Akito's and there is little I can do about it. Maybe if I stay in line, I can always be around the kind side of him, the side I actually like.

Akito extended his hand to Kita, offering to help her up from the floor. She took it graciously, practically floored by the amiable gesture. She stood calmly, waiting for an instruction or a good-bye but she didn't receive a dismissal of any sort. She quickly caught onto the fact that he wasn't finished yet, as Akito was still standing closely in front of her.

The fact that she couldn't read his expression was bothering Kita so she reached out and pushed his hair away from his face, secretly relishing in the soft feeling of his hair between her fingers. A mischievous spark flashed in his charcoal eyes that excited Kita and she started to become more afraid of her own emotions than of him.

He placed his hands on her hips and aggressively pulled her towards him, placing a forceful, passionate kiss on her lips.

Kita had only ever kissed two guys in her entire life, Akito and Raidon, and there were certainly no similarities between the two. When she kissed Raidon, it was like kissing a brother, detached, unromantic, and even a bit awkward. Kissing Akito was the exact opposite of that. It was emotional and intense and felt...right. But how, thought Kita, how can it be right? If you care about someone, you don't hit them when they upset you. There is something about him that I have yet to understand but I'm sure it would help explain the way he treats me and the way I feel towards him.

But for now, Kita was wrapped up in him and it felt so good to forget the pain and not have more of it inflicted on her.

She ran her fingers through his messy hair again and pressed her body against his, allowing her to feel every bone in his cadaverous body. He smiled into the kiss and Kita took pleasure in making him happy for once, a task that is quite difficult to do it seems.

Akito pushed his tongue against her tightly pursed lips, demanding entrance into her mouth. She conceded, parting her lips and eagerly welcoming his advances.

She couldn't comprehend why she was allowing this to happen or why she was so enthralled with his carnal desires, especially since she herself wasn't ready to go further with him than where they were now even though he seemed fixed on doing so.

His hands began to slip below her hips and Kita gasped into his mouth, her mind abruptly returning to center on what was happening. She started to get very nervous unbeknownst to her that it only aroused him more.

A knock at the door brought the action to a halt. Akito groaned and moved his hands back up to her hips, thoroughly irritated that it interrupted his inspection of Kita's dental work. Kita, on the contrary, was thankful for the disruption.

"Enter." he said, annoyed. He didn't let go of Kita's hips even though she had untangled her fingers from his hair at the prospect of someone else entering the room.

Kureno entered and despite the fact that he knew he had disrupted them, he wasn't at all embarrassed or ashamed. Kita, on the other hand, blushed dark red and hid her face in Akito's yukata because she couldn't look him in the eye. Akito found her child-like embarrassment endearing.

"I apologize but Kita is going to be late for school if she doesn't start walking right now." he said, mechanically.

Akito sighed angrily, reluctantly letting go of her.

"Good day, Akito." she said, bowing and exiting the room.

Just when things between us were starting to get good, he had to try to take it further, she thought bitterly. Another bad day in the making.


	9. Soul Searching

_**Author's Note:** Remember that since I write this a while ago and since it's based mostly on the anime, some things are different in reference to Akito's predecessor. If you know all the Fruits Basket spoilers, that was for you. If not, disregard this message._

_Chapter 8_ (Soul Searching)

After Kita left the room, Akito walked indolently back over to the heater and sat next to it. The cold, January air was hazardous to his health so the best thing to do was stay warm. Kureno stood over by the door, waiting for some sort of instruction since he hadn't been given anything to do yet today.

"I'm bored." Akito complained, laying down and tracing patterns on the floor with his fingers. Kureno didn't really know how to respond to such a statement.

"Are you hungry?" Kureno asked. "You haven't eaten in a while and it would probably be good to build up your immunities."

Akito sighed like he was frustrated and sat up. "What's the point?" he asked, languidly. "You can't fight the inevitable."

Kureno looked down at the floor. It was always difficult to find something to say after Akito casually mentions how he is so close to death. On top of that, it's a pretty tedious effort to try to figure out how Akito feels about his fate considering that he has a very nonchalant attitude about it most days. Kureno considered mentioning that he might want to be around longer to be with Kita since living for the juunishi didn't seem to matter to him much as long as they're with him during his life but decided against it. Fighting with Akito always led to either bloodshed or nothing at all.

"Does Kita know?" he asked curiously. Maybe she could get him to take better care of himself. He won't always listen to him but he might listen to her. It's unlikely but possible.

"No." Akito said, staring out the window. The bird feeder had been moved outside onto his porch and he was watching two small doves take long drinks from it, knowing that it may be a while before they find another feeder to nourish their weak bodies. "And I don't want her to know, not yet anyway. I plan to tell her when she has to know." he said cryptically.

That Kita can be a bit of a mystery herself, he thought watching the now spirited birds fly off together. Then an idea for something to occupy his time popped into his head.

"You are dismissed." he said, smirking at Kureno and waving his hand towards the door.

Kureno bowed and left the room, a bit unsure and worried about Akito's motives. Once he was out of sight, Akito stood up and walked out, peering down the hallway. Kureno took a right after leaving the room and walked down the hall. Akito was pleased that he would be able to infiltrate Kita's space in private.

He opened the door to her room and was surprised to see that it hadn't changed since she had been unpacking her things on move-in day.

On her nightstand the tiger lilies resided in a blue mosaic vase in the center of the stand. They will need to be replaced in a few days, he noted touching one of the dying petals. I'll tell Kureno to get a servant to do it the next time I see him.

He picked up and inspected the various bottles on her nightstand, the fact that she didn't have any visual markings from three days ago now making sense. She covers things up, he thought. Not only is she a verbal liar but she's also good at hiding things. What a little devil I have on my hands.

He put down the bottles and picked up her onyx-beaded silver necklace which had been in front of the bottles and ran his fingers over the black beads. The necklace and matching earrings were the only jewelry she had brought with her. They must be special.

Then he opened the nightstand's drawer. His original intention when he entered her room was just to examine what was conspicuous and not to delve any deeper but once he was surrounded by her secrets he realized that he wanted to know all of them, privacy be damned.

The only thing inside the drawer was a cell phone and a charger for it. He picked up the tiny, silver phone and turned it on, surprised to find that it was still in working order. Another note to Kureno, he thought searching through the phone to find her number; make sure to start getting the house to pay for her cell phone bill.

He knew she didn't have an after school job and he was sure her father hadn't left her with loads of inheritance money but he liked the idea of her having a cell phone. It meant that if she were to try to get away, she could always be tracked down somehow.

He found the number, memorized it, and then opened her address book to see who she talks to. A short list appeared on the screen: Dad, Hatori, Home, Hoshiko, Main House, Raidon, and Shigure; that was it. Akito turned off the phone and put it back in the drawer, a little surprised that there hadn't been more numbers in the database. He also wondered how she had the number to the main house but assumed Kureno had given it to her when she moved in.

On the bottom part of the nightstand, there was a CD player and a bottle of water. The bottle was half frozen and on top of a paper towel to catch the dripping condensation. Why does she need that by her bed, he wondered. Maybe she has a problem with staying hydrated.

He decided that the bottle wasn't important and instead sat down on her bed and ran his hand over the sheets. They were just the right kind of material. Akito smirked to himself, thinking about the various uses for such a large, soft bed. Hopefully I'll get to enjoy the comforts of this bed some time soon, he thought.

He deliberately got off her bed to keep himself from getting overly quixotic and walked over to her bookshelf which seemed to be the center for her self-expression. The books that had been put there before she moved in had yet to be touched. He assumed it was because she had been too depressed to read.

Underneath those books, on the next shelf, were Kita's CDs and movies. The CDs all had very unique cover art and the movies were mostly dubbed films with an anime movie or two thrown in. Akito wasn't familiar with popular music or movies so he didn't really learn anything about her from them. On the other side of the shelf was a picture of Kita and two other people. He picked up the frame and affectionately ran his thumb along the side of Kita's smiling face. He didn't recognize the two other people in the picture and that bothered him. The girl to Kita's left bared an annoyingly close resemblance to Rin or even...Ren, except that her hair only fell to her shoulder. The boy on Kita's right possessed a certain quality that, in Akito's mind, was reminiscent of Hatsuharu. Thinking back to her cell phone he assumed these people were Hoshiko and Raidon. One more thing to tell Kureno, he thought. Get him to find out more about these two people.

Her own books were lined up on the shelf below it. There was a pretty wide variety, with a lot of novels, a couple shojo manga books, and a book on the Western and Chinese Zodiac. Akito examined the cover of the book and laughed to himself at the irony of her bringing such a book into Sohma house. He didn't know too much about Western astrology, it was inferior to its rival anyway, but, out of curiosity, he opened it up and found Kita's birthday, February twenty-eighth. It said she was a Pisces and that she was compatible with other water signs like Cancer and Scorpio. Akito is a Cancer.

Happy with that answer, he closed the book and put it back on the shelf. Next to the books, he saw another framed photograph. This one was of Mina and a man who had purple tinted hair like Kita's only it was darker than hers. They were smiling together and leaning against a railing in front of a lake with the sun setting behind them looking like the prototype for the perfect couple. Akito had heard stories about how the God before him had been in love with Mina and how Kita's father had stolen her away from him. There's no way I will let Kita get away from me like that, Akito thought furiously, turning away from the bookshelf and walking over to the dresser.

He opened her drawers and started rummaging through her clothes. There were skirts, pants, shirts, scarves, belts, and other things that would make Kita embarrassed if she knew he had been looking at them. The articles of clothing were mostly cool colors, reds, and some black pieces with patterns or just solid colors; she likes to layer her clothes usually. Akito was surprised to find that she didn't have any nice dresses or kimonos. Maybe they're in her closet, he thought.

He slid open the closet door but there was nothing inside except a few extra pillows and an extra blanket that had been put in there before she moved in. She must not know there's a closet in here, he thought. It's hard to tell that this was a closet because the opening to it matches the wall panels perfectly. If I hadn't had closely studied the room before Kita moved in, I wouldn't have known it was here either.

"Akito, what are you doing?" Kureno asked from the doorway. It was clear that he had been looking through her room but Kureno knew better than to accuse him.

"Trying to learn more about my little Kita." he said, smirking and closing the closet door. "I have a few jobs for you today, Kureno."

"Kita! Hey! Wait up!"

Kita looked up from staring at the ground and turned around. Running over to her was a small boy with big, light brown eyes and blond hair wearing a girl's uniform with shorts, an undeniable image. Behind Momiji was Haru who was walking a lot slower than him. She was surprised Momiji wanted to talk to her but he was always freakishly friendly to her, and everyone else for that matter.

"Kita, I haven't seen you in months! Remember at the culture festival last November?" he said enthusiastically. Kita had always thought he was a sweet kid but he sometimes got on her nerves a bit with his perpetually upbeat attitude.

"Yeah, I remember. It's great to see you to." she said, trying to muster up a smile but coming up short. Momiji grabbed her hand like he was about to drag her somewhere.

"I heard you were living in the main house. Do you want to walk back to Sohma house with me and Haru?" he asked, practically jumping up and down, shaking her hand. Apparently the news has spread. Since she moved, Kita had started walking home alone. She used to be able to walk with Hoshiko and Raidon for a little while before they all broke off in different directions but Sohma house was so far away from there that she walked by herself. It gave her a chance to organize her thoughts or wallow in misery as the case may be. Kita looked at Haru who smiled down at them both.

"Yeah, sure. I'll walk with you guys." she said, hesitantly.

"Yay!" Momiji shouted. Kita feared he might try to hug her but he contained his excitement well.

The three of them made their way down the street which was pretty crowded for once. Kita laughed to herself thinking that they made quite a spectacle, a boy with white and black hair, a boy in a girl's uniform, and a girl with purple-shaded hair.

"Kita, I heard about your dad. I'm really sorry. I wish I could have been able to meet him." Momiji said, having a moment of seriousness.

Kita gave him a weak smile.

"Thank you." she said, ruffling his hair. Even though he was only two years her junior, she still thought of him as being an innocent six-year-old.

"Are you really living next to...Akito?" he asked tentatively.

Kita nodded.

"Is it bad?" he asked, a worried look in his eye.

Kita sighed. "Not really." she said, even though sometimes it really was more bad than good. Haru sensed how uncomfortable she was and changed the topic.

"So you'll be out of the school soon, less than two months."

"Mm-hm. I'm pretty excited but also nervous. I need to start getting my life in order so I can get away from here once I graduate. I'm off to a university but I'll come back for holidays and such. I'll still want to see my buddies." She smiled at them to show that they were included in that category. Momiji beamed back at her but Haru looked unnerved at her talk of the future.

"Hey Momiji, why don't you go run ahead? I need to ask Kita something kind of personal." Haru said gravely. Kita looked nervously at him.

"Okay sure." Momiji said, skipping ahead of them blissfully unaware of the severity in Haru's tone. Once he was out of earshot, Haru spoke again.

"Kita, what kind of relationship do you have with Akito exactly?"

Kita was taken aback by his question. She really wasn't sure herself what kind of relationship it was so how would she be able to verbalize it to other people? He liked her _a lot_ and she liked him sometimes. Currently it could only be described as mildly abusive or at least love-like feelings directed into anger, passionate or at least love-like feelings directed into destructive romantic behavior, and unspoken or at least a relationship that could not be defined by words.

"I don't really know." she said truthfully.

"Well, I remember hearing many times over the years that he was infatuated with you. And last New Years, I overheard him yelling to Hatori about how he hasn't seen you in years but that he wants you to be his and how you will be once you graduate. It was pretty scary." he said calmly.

"That sounds about right." Kita said, hardly absorbing the part about after graduation as she kicked a can that was lying on the ground and then picked it up once they had caught up to it at the slow pace they were going.

"Well, I'm not going to try to stick my nose where it doesn't belong but I do want to make sure you're okay. Does he...lock you up?" he asked, thinking back to how Yuki used to be treated. It's possible that Kita is kind of like his new Yuki only better because she's female.

"No. But he does try to hold a tight grip on me, figuratively speaking."

Haru nodded. "And how does a university fit into the equation?"

All the color drained from Kita's face and she stopped walking, the after graduation part of what he had said hitting her hard. How hadn't she thought of this before? _One day you'll be all mine._ Was that day now? Would he let her go to a university? Would she have to run away? How would he react?

"Kita, are you okay?" Haru asked, putting his hand on her shoulder. She looked like she had stopped breathing.

"I'm well." she said, tossing the can into a trash bin and walking quickly ahead. "We better go catch up with Momiji. He's probably wondering what we're doing."


	10. Snow Melts Into Water

_**Author's Note:** Hm, I've got nothing. Read!_

_Chapter 9_ (Snow Melts Into Water)

The next ten days went by in a bland drone for Kita, like a broken record playing the same over-used chords. After having only lived in the Sohma house for thirteen days, she had already fallen into a distinct routine. Usually Akito would still be sleeping after she had woken up so she would sit at the table with Kureno and they would talk. Kureno didn't have as many interesting anecdotes as she did so normally he would listen to her tell stories. Kita wasn't content with talking the whole time so she would ask how he's been and he would share the little information he had about his days. He told her that he rarely left the house because Akito kept him on a short leash and the more she thought about it, the more Kita wondered if she would end up just like that.

She would walk to school alone, sometimes studying for a test she had that day or just thinking and school would progress as usual, except that Hoshiko had started ditching class more often. Since she didn't have any post secondary education plans and since she frequently would come back to school with snacks, Kita and Raidon would condone her behavior.

After school, Kita would walk home with Hatsuharu and Momiji. All the time spent walking together helped them to learn more about each other. Haru and Momiji enjoyed hearing stories about her parents since they didn't have many pleasant experiences in that area. Momiji would mostly tell stories about Tohru Honda and Hatori too. Haru liked telling stories about Yuki and even shared his experiences with his kind-of-ex-girlfriend, Rin.

Once she got home, Kita would go to see Akito and would spend pretty much the rest of her evening with him. Over this time, he was stuck in a limbo where he wasn't very sick but he wasn't fully healthy either. It left him without enough energy to try to get further with Kita but it also made him extremely bored and he would expect Kita to forsake her schoolwork to entertain him. They would eat dinner together, or poke at their dinner, and then at eight thirty Kita would retire to her room claiming fatigue but she really would go and read or listen to music. She still wanted some time to herself and in her situation that was very hard to come by.

That following Sunday was, for the most part, just another one of those days for Kita...

"Oh no! Our darling Kita is dead! Dead and gone! Such a young life. Why couldn't it be spared?" wailed Shigure, his hand up to his forehead for dramatic effect.

Kita reached over and grabbed the pillow on the other side of her bed and hurled it at his head with a groan commonly heard spewing from her mouth early in the morning. Shigure caught the airborne sham and tapped her on the head with it. Shame on you.

"She's alive!" he exclaimed joyously, tossing the pillow onto the other side of her bed.

"Yes, yes, I'm alive. Just because someone's sleeping, it's not the end of the world." she said, rolling over and sleepily opening her eyes. Usually, she found his dramatic speech comical but not after waking up in the morning.

"I agree with you, having just woken up a half hour ago myself, but after nearly two weeks, I get nothing from you and I worry. No quick visits, no phone calls, no letters, not even something so simple as 'don't fret Shigure, I'm still alive.' Nothing!" he said, throwing his hands up in the air.

Kita rolled her eyes. "I left a message on your cell phone a week and a half ago and one three days ago." she said, sitting up and wiping the sleep from her eyes.

Shigure looked guiltily down at the floor. "I must have forgotten to check my voice mail."

"Yeah, for two weeks." Kita said getting out of bed. The clock read 1:30. Every Sunday, she woke up hungry even though she barely ever ate. It was probably due to the fact that she is asleep longer on Sunday than any other day. In fact, she eats so little usually that Kureno once described Akito and Kita eating a meal together as a competition to see who could eat the least amount of food and still complain about being full.

"So how are you being treated here?" Shigure asked, skimming the titles in her bookshelf.

"It's fine." Kita said quickly. It really has been better lately in spite of the fact that she sounded like she was lying again. Akito had seemed to take a break from abusing her. In fact, she had been kind of_ enjoying_ his company as unnatural as that may be.

"Are you sure? Everyone agrees that you haven't really been leaving the house since you moved in. Not to mention your attitude change but I'm sure that isn't all based on your new living situation. Losing a parent is difficult to cope with."

"Who says there's something wrong?" Kita asked inquisitively. No one has mentioned anything to her except Hoshi and Rai and they haven't had any contact with the Sohmas.

"Well, Hatsuharu was worried, Momiji backed him up on the attitude change part, and Hatori said that the last time he was checking up on Akito, he bumped into you and you were acting very odd."

Kita was a little surprised at the comments but more surprised that no one thought to at least bring it up to her that they were concerned. She knew she had been acting weird but she couldn't control it. After crying so much, she had descended into a feeling of numbness and was having a hard time feeling even the slightest bit happy so she would typically just mope around half dead.

"I know I have been. I'm just going through a dark phase right now." she said, trying to bring him off the topic. No one needs to lose sleep over her. They have enough of their own problems to deal with.

"If you say so." Shigure replied unenthusiastically and a bit uncertain.

"Hey, some of _my_ books!" he exclaimed, pulling one from the shelf. "I'm touched."

"Yeah, there were some books in here before I moved in and a few of them happened to be yours."

"Have you read any of them?" he asked, practically on the edge of his seat in suspense.

"I finished all your fine literature that was here and now I'm deeply engrossed in the..other stuff." Kita admitted, her cheeks flaring in humiliation.

Shigure smiled deviously. "Looks like shy, little Kita has a bad side."

Kita hid her face in her hands. "Stop it, Shigure. You're starting to sound like Akito during one of his on-days."

Shigure lifted an eyebrow. "On-days?"

"Days when he's not feeling sick." she clarified. Shigure seemed relived by what she meant since he had a much more salacious definition brewing in his mind.

Kita pretty much figured that Akito had on-days, off-days, and _other _days. On-days are days when he's feeling well and usually up for certain kinds of activity that Kita is never up for, off-days are days when he's sick and half dead, like how Kita has become most days, and _other_ days are days when it is best to stay the heck away from him unless you are a glutton for punishment.

"I'm hungry." Kita declared, as they stepped out into the hall. "I'm going to go see what's in the kitchen. Do you want to come?"

"I'd be honored to but I have to be getting home. I just wanted to check up on you and make sure you're okay." he said, his eyes tracing a pattern up her bare arms, over her shoulders and collarbone, and up to her face to check for bruises and scratches. Finding none, he figured it would be safe to leave.

"All right. Bye Shigure." she said walking towards the kitchen.

"Goodbye Kita." he said, waving from the other direction.

Kita entered the kitchen to find a large buffet set out. Even though this was pretty uncommon, it was certainly welcome. Kita bypassed all the fish and vegetables and instead filled a bowl with a hefty portion of white rice and started constructing a fruit salad. She piled on everything that was there, strawberries, pear slices, peach slices, apple slices, and blueberries, and then she set up camp at the table, alone. It felt weird for her to be eating alone.

Once she was almost done with her food, Kureno walked into the kitchen looking determined. His eyes widened when he saw her.

"There you are." he said, surprisingly calm as usual. "Akito has been wondering where you were."

"Well, I slept late, then Shigure woke me up and I talked to him for a while, and now I'm enjoying a wonderful meal of fruit and rice." she said with irritating nonchalance.

"Explain it to him. Come on." he said, waving her towards the door.

"Can I just grab my homework first?" She looked down at her tank top and pajama pants, not exactly the right attire to be greeting him in. "And put on some actual clothes?"

Kureno gave her a look. "You know what I'm going to say."

She always asked him if it was okay to do things before seeing Akito and every time all he could say is, 'I don't know what he'll think. Do it if you want to, just hurry up.'

"Yes, sorry. I'm going." she said rushing back to her room.

At speeds she didn't even think she was capable of, Kita changed into a pair of jeans and a white shirt and threw a short, v-necked light-blue summer dress on over it. In the same way she covered her face, she felt the need to cover her body. It was winter after all but even if it weren't she would still feel the need to cover up when going to see him. It was kind of like she was making up for meeting him so scantily dressed two weeks ago.

She grabbed her stack of schoolbooks off her dresser and walked into his room without knocking. They were at the point where it wasn't necessary, not that anyone was ever courteous enough to knock at the main house. Akito was standing over by the large window watching the snow fall. Kita didn't even realize it was snowing and it made her think of Hatori. She wondered if he was alone in his office getting depressed thinking about Kana.

Then something occurred to her. If Akito were to have her indefinitely, would he allow the other cursed ones to marry? Or is he really that selfish?

But isn't God allowed to be selfish? Probably, but Kita was still oblivious to that information.

She gently put her books on the floor so that she wouldn't disturb him and walked over to the window. She stood next to him, surrounded in a whirlpool of serenity as she stared at the falling snowflakes gracefully charting a path to the ground.

"It's pretty." she said dreamily.

"It's cold." he replied bitterly, turning away from the window.

Kita continued to watch the sparkling white flakes fall onto the ground and melt away. She thought about when she was three and she had gone sledding for the first time with her mom and dad. She and her dad were in a sled together and they hit a rock that caused them to wipe out and go flying into a snow mound. Mina and Jiro had been terrified that Kita had hurt herself but she just laughed and said she wanted to do it again, minus the rock hitting part.

"Aren't you going to start your homework?" Akito asked, interrupting her memory. He clearly wanted her to get it done so she could get on with the actual interaction part of keeping him company.

"Yeah. Sorry." she said, sitting down on the floor and opening the book.

The first time she had done this with him, he had complained about how she didn't say anything and how she would just sit there working. He had said that he could only stare at her for so long before he would want her to actually do something so she had started teaching him. She would explain her schoolwork to him and talk about what happened during class and things she has a hard time with. It made studying for tests easier because once he understood it, she would have it memorized.

Akito didn't really mind her method of amusement. He had never gone to an actual school so most of what she would teach was new to him. At least it was something to keep him busy while she got her work done.

"What are you doing today?" Akito asked, laying down on the floor with his feet towards her side. As much as he wanted to just tell her to forget her homework, he figured that he should at least grant her the last shreds of education she could muster because she won't be leaving him once she graduates. She may not know it, but that's really the beauty of it all.

"Mostly review stuff in physics, verbs in English, and a few problems in calculus. I'll start with the calculus since that's the most dull assignment." Akito seemed pleased with that response.

Kita quietly did her calculus homework while Akito tried to keep himself occupied by watching her. He wasn't feeling particularly active so admiring her sitting there in a settled state was holding his attention fine. She never explained calculus to him unless she needed to review it to herself because he found it to be just as tedious as she did.

She flew through her English homework in only five minutes and then got to work on the review work for physics. She had already explained everything there was to know about the chapter to him over the past few days so she didn't feel the need to talk about it again. She wasn't feeling up for it anyway and he seemed fine with her staying quiet.

"I can't get this problem." Kita muttered to herself, scratching out her work for the third time. For some reason her answer kept coming out to be so big that it made the problem physically impossible.

"Let me see it." Akito said, holding out his hand without sitting upright. Kita gave him a disbelieving look but doubtfully handed over her notebook anyway.

He held the notebook in front of him for a few seconds and flipped back a couple of pages to her notes on the chapter, skimming her neatly organized sentences and formulas. Then he handed it back to her.

"The weight is in the wrong units. You have to change them in order to use that formula." he said casually. Kita stared at him dumbfounded.

"How did you see that?" she asked, still in utter amazement as she took her notebook back.

"You're always saying your biggest problem is forgetting to convert the quantities into the proper units."

Kita couldn't believe he remembered. More than half of the time while she would explain her work, it seemed like he was too busy staring at her with fantasy stewing in his mind to actually listen to her. Not to sound like Shigure but she was touched. She completed the problem without error and moved onto the next one. Only a few more, she thought to herself gratefully. The downside was that each problem took so long to finish.

Akito sat up, now feeling very _bored_. The problem had gotten his brain functioning and what he had discovered as a result was that he was no longer in the mood to lie around while Kita did her homework. He deserved a reward for being so helpful.

He inched towards her and ran his fingers through her long, dark hair eventually tucking it behind her ear. He then traced her knee with his finger, running it up and down her denim-covered leg. She didn't show a reaction because she was too busy working to care and that annoyed him greatly. In a final effort to get her attention, he rested his hand on her bended knee and nibbled lightly on her ear, startling her.

"I have to finish my homework." she complained. He always did this. At some point while she was trying to finish her homework, he would be trying to distract her. In spite of how useful he was when it came to studying for tests, he was a major hindrance when it came to completing assignments.

"No, you don't." he purred softly. He took his hand off her knee and turned her face towards him, kissing her roughly and not allowing her the chance to take a breath.

Kita tried to break the fervent kiss but found her efforts to be in vain, as usual. She really had no problem with the fact that he was kissing her, she enjoyed it, but in the back of her head a voice was telling her she had work to do. Despite the fact that her conscious didn't agree, she made the decision to just give in. Usually, she wasn't so apt to forget her homework for him but at this point, she needed a break and she didn't want to argue. She liked him most of the time and sometimes it was just easier to let him have what he wanted, especially if she wanted it to.

She leaned against him, pushing her tongue into his mouth for once and lacing her fingers through his silky, uncombed hair. He gave a pleased moan in response.

He pushed her onto the floor, overpowering her easily, and ran his hand over her soft stomach and down to the waist of her jeans. It had been a long time since he had tried this and he was in the mood to see her nervous with fear. Kita squealed uncomfortably as he thumbed the button, teasing her. She didn't want this but he never gave much thought to her boundaries. He wanted her and that was good enough. Akito broke the kiss and sat down on her legs, his hand still underneath her dress.

"I still have to finish my homework." Kita said sounding surprisingly un-rattled but realizing where this was going. I probably shouldn't have given in, she thought. But it started out so well, I didn't know we'd get here. She thought back to when she had visited him before school and his hands had slipped a little too far. Same thing.

Akito smiled maliciously and shook his head. He leaned back down and kissed her challengingly, as if to say, 'I'd like to see you try to stop me.' Just to show his power over her even though he no longer had an interest in actually taking advantage of her, he undid the button. She tried unsuccessfully to throw him off her and he smiled again, diving back into the kiss. She's so cute when she's helpless.

The sound of a door opening echoed through the room and Akito and Kita looked up. Kureno was standing in the doorway, looking at the couple as if he had walked in on them doing nothing more suggestive than playing a board game.

"Dinner."

Akito sighed and got off of her. Kita stood up calmly, buttoning her jeans and combing her fingers through her now very untidy hair, trying to hide her bright red cheeks from them. As they exited the room, Kita whispered, "thanks" to Kureno, who nodded knowingly.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

After dinner, Kita finished her homework without any intrusions from Akito. He had actually eaten some dinner and having a somewhat full stomach had made him sleepy. He had fallen asleep on his futon so Kita decided to leave him alone but before she went back to her own room, she covered him with a blanket and moved the heater closer to him. Although, he was usually easier to handle when he was sick, she didn't like seeing him that way.

She walked back to her room and collapsed onto her bed, accidently knocking over one of Shigure's books which had been positioned near the foot of it. She rolled off the bed and walked over to pick up the book, but stopped when she noticed a strange crack in the wall. It was so intriguing to her because it didn't look like an architectural flaw, it actually looked like a purposeful fracture. She attempted to slide her hand into it and the wall moved aside. I have a closet, she thought confused. Why didn't anyone tell me?

She moved the door open the rest of the way and curiously looked inside. On the floor there was a blanket and a few extra pillows, nothing too shocking, but hanging up she saw some of the most amazing clothes she had ever witnessed.

The first article of clothing was a yukata that had a short lavender colored robe with a purple lining underneath and a dark purple robe on top. Along the bottom of the outer robe, there was an elaborate lavender flower that resembled a lily and there was a black belt to tie it all together. The second item was an elegant black dress that was strapless and had a tight, corset-like top with a long skirt that was slit a little further above the knee. It looked like the kind of dress Kita would want to wear but would change out of at the last minute, thinking it was too showy. The last item was a beautiful silk kimono. It was bright blue in color and had an all-over design of tiny, yellow-green, purple, and silver flowers.

The person who had this room before me must have had expensive tastes, Kita thought, running her hand over the kimono. She hadn't owned a kimono since she was little and she really wanted one. That person will probably want these things back, Kita thought wishing she could have kept them for herself.

She walked down the hallway hoping to bump into Kureno so she could tell him about the discovery. Luckily, he had been sitting at the table in the kitchen, enjoying an after-dinner cup of coffee.

"Um, Kureno, I think whoever had the room before me left some clothes in the closet."

Kureno frowned and gave her a confused look. "No one has had that room before you...Oh wait, the things in the closet. Yes. Those are yours."

"Mine?" Kita said, stunned.

"They're something of a gift." he said, standing up and rinsing out his cup in the sink.

"From..." she started, knowing fully well that the sentence didn't need to be completed for him to know who she was talking about.

"Yes and he hopes you like them. Goodnight Kita." he said, walking out of the room, leaving her speechless.

Of course, Kita thought. That dress should have given it away.

_You look so beautiful in black._


	11. A Dark Halo

**_Author's Note:_** _Here's a chapter to give you a dose of sweetness._

_Chapter 10_ (A Dark Halo)

Kita felt herself collapse into one of the now impeccably clean desks out of sheer exhaustion. The mop was her new worst enemy. Cleaning the classroom had taken an eternity to finish today for some obscure reason so she was practically ready to fall on her shaking knees, thankful that the job had finally been completed.

Hoshiko had conceived the ingenious idea to skip every Monday for the rest of the year so it was just Kita and Raidon that day. Without Hoshi, the day seemed a lot quieter. It was a feeling they could easily tolerate but they missed her a lot. She made cleaning up exciting and that's really what they had needed.

Kita wished she had skipped with her. The day had been agonizingly mind-numbing and if she had skipped, she and Hoshi could have gone out for once. It had been so long since Kita had gone out anywhere. Akito hadn't really authorized hanging out with her friends as an acceptable way to spend her time and she had been too numb to be in the mood to do anything that could be classified as fun. However, she needed to get to the store sometime soon because Valentine's Day was in a couple days and she needed to get presents.

Raidon fell into the desk next to Kita, completely depleted of his energy as well, and rolled his head towards her.

"Done." he said satisfied, letting out a breath.

"I'm spent." Kita said, putting her bare feet on the desk in front of her, trying to keep herself upright and her eyes open.

"So Kita, you haven't left the house since your father died and you have been living in the Sohma house for two weeks now and I haven't even seen the place. I know you're sad but is there something you're not telling me?" he asked suspiciously.

Kita was caught off-guard by the question and started to get nervous. As much as she wanted to have Rai come over, she couldn't invite him. Akito would have a fit.

"The Sohmas have pretty strict rules on visitors.." she said, trying to sum up an excuse for her behavior even though it didn't answer his question about how she was feeling. She knew it was a weak response but she couldn't exactly say that the head of the Sohma family has taken a liking towards her and thus, refused to let her get to far from him.

"Come on." Rai pleaded. "Couldn't I at least walk over there with you? I want to see the house and make sure it is a suitable environment for you to live in." he said, sounding very big brotherly and protective.

Kita swung her legs off the desk and sighed deeply. There shouldn't be any harm in just letting him walk to Sohma house with her. Coming inside its isolated walls would be completely out of the question but she could at least let him see it.

"Okay, sure." Kita said, throwing up her hands. "Let's just get the heck out of here."

--------------------------------------

Akito was standing by the front of the room when Kureno entered and kneeled in front of him. He was feeling a lot worse than yesterday and supporting his head was a very difficult action to maintain but he hid this from Kureno and folded his hands calmly. A while ago, he had addressed Kureno with a few questions about his little Kita that had never really been answered. He waited for his guest to speak first.

"She found the items in the closet." Kureno said, breaking the silence. "She seemed to have really liked them."

Akito smiled. He knew she would like them. She didn't seem to have anything quite so decadent in her drawers and he knew they would make her look beautiful.

"Good. And what can you tell me about those people in that photograph in her bookshelf?" he asked, staring glassy-eyed in no particular direction. His cheeks were scarlet in color and his forehead burned like a sidewalk in hundred degree weather. He definitely had a fever but Hatori had yet to come over and check on him.

It was clear Akito had been itching to ask about her friends for a while but Kureno really didn't have much information on them. All he had found out was a few bits of information Shigure had dispensed to him when he had swung by to visit yesterday.

"Well, the girl's name is Hoshiko and she's supposedly a loud, reckless sort of person. I remember also hearing something about a fondness for younger boys but that information isn't really relevant."

Akito cringed. This Hoshiko person sounded so much like Ren that it made him feel even more ill than he already was. How could Kita tolerate someone like that, he wondered, cursing his mother.

"What about the boy?" he asked with obvious distaste, deciding that was all he needed to know about the girl.

"All I got about him was that his name is Raidon and that he's a quiet person." Kureno said, knowing that wasn't exactly the information Akito was looking for. Akito had wanted to know if this boy liked Kita. He wanted to know if this boy had ever dated Kita. He wanted to know if this boy had the nerve to think he was still dating Kita. He already didn't like this boy either.

"Find out more about him." Akito demanded. "You're dismissed." He had had enough unpleasantries for one day.

Kureno bowed and exited without even a footstep heard.

Now that he was alone, Akito could allow how he was really feeling to come out. He walked over to the window and slumped over the sill, his head spinning from the fever and from thoughts of Kita and her friends. Does she really need other friends outside this house anyway, he thought. I could be everything for her.

It was below freezing temperature outside and he would probably get sicker if he stayed hunched over the open window for too long but he just couldn't bring himself to care.

------------------------------------------

"_This_ is Sohma house!" Raidon asked, gazing in awe at the tall barricade in front of him.

"Yeah, this is Sohma house!" Momiji squeaked cheerfully. He and Haru had accompanied them on their walk so the four of them were now standing in front of the massive gate, trying to decide what to do next. He had wanted to see the place. There it is. What now?

"It looks like this gigantic wall is ostracizing a miniature town." he said thoroughly amazed. "It resembles an upscale sort of prison actually; I can see now why you haven't been leaving." he said, turning to Kita. The joke was lost on her. To her, Sohma house _was_ like a prison, albeit one that had its good days. She just couldn't shake off what Haru had said to her about how going to college will be a hard task to accomplish when she is so coveted by Akito.

"I guess the journey ends here boys." Kita said, walking over to the door.

"Can't I at least go in a little bit?" Raidon asked. "I'm extremely fascinated now."

"I don't know.." she said, an aura of trepidation lingering in her mind. If someone were to catch them, it would surely get back to Akito that she had brought a boy within the confines of the Sohma estate.

"Come on, Kita!" shouted Momiji. "Just a little bit won't hurt."

That's easy for him to say, Kita thought. If they get caught, he probably won't have to suffer for it.

"Fine." she said, giving into the pressure. Her numbness made her such a push-over.

Haru opened the door and the four of them walked slowly inside, making deep footprints in the day-old snow. Although it didn't have the sometimes present funereal gloom, it was still pretty quiet inside. Luckily, no one was outside. If someone were to see Raidon, it would surely become an instant scandal.

"You didn't tell me you're loaded!" Raidon exclaimed, closely studying an ornate stone sculpture that was placed along one of the paths that ran through the property.

"I'm not loaded. The Sohmas in general are the rich ones. My father and mother were self-sufficient." she said, proudly.

Above them, a little distance away, Akito watched their little show from his window. That red-headed boy, that Raidon, was inside the gates with Kita, Hatsuharu, and Momiji. They were walking around together, checking out the Sohma estate without his consent, and they didn't look the slightest bit remorseful about it.

What nerve Kita has, Akito thought angrily. I give her a place to stay, I offer to protect her, I give her affection that rivals the way I feel for the Zodiac members and she gallivants around _my_ place with that boy. No one is allowed inside the gates of the Sohma estate who doesn't know about the curse.

He watched as the boy left the gates and the remaining three broke off in different directions, returning to their homes. Five minutes later, Akito heard the door to his room slide open.

"Good afternoon, Akito." she said to him, sounding pleasant enough but tired.

Akito didn't move. The frigid air almost felt refreshing against his heated face as another icy breeze whipped by him and tousled his hair. After a violent fit of shivering, all the feeling in his body had gone dull rendering him immobilized by the window.

How could she sound so utterly cheery after she had gone and broken his unwritten rules, he wondered. How could she?

But then his mind shifted to a more rational place, a place Akito doesn't visit often. Maybe it's just the fever thinking for me, but maybe I have nothing to worry about, he contemplated. She has male friends of whom she doesn't have a romantic relationship with, right? And when we're together, I can tell she is there for me and no one else. She is so sweet and quiet and far too smart to betray me. She knows the consequences for such a heinous action and she would not be willing to endure them for a fling with another man. But it's the quiet, sweet ones to worry about. Is she as innocent as her face may read? She's practically a compulsive liar, after all.

"Akito?" Kita said, starting to sound a bit worried. "Are you okay?"

She walked over to the window and brushed his hair away from his face, revealing his sickly visage to her. She put her palm up to his forehead.

"You're burning up. Get away from the window. It could make you sicker. Have you seen Hatori yet?" she asked, genuinely concerned. Maybe I have nothing to worry about, he thought.

Akito stood up with difficulty and faced Kita, who had a frightened expression on her face at the sight of him so mangled and weak. He placed his hand on her cheek and slumped down, a bit too low for Kita for she feared he might fall over, so she grabbed his shoulders and adjusted him so he was standing erect.

"Kita, sometimes I wonder if you really appreciate everything that I do for you." he said, a hint of anger present in his speech. Kita felt her own feelings of numbness melt away and she immediately got on guard to protect herself ...or him. Whichever one was necessary.

"I took you in after your father died, I vowed to protect you from danger and pain, and I promised to care for you. I care for you above so many others."

Kita was at a loss for words. His speech was laced with illness and choler but it was true, he had done those things. Whether or not he had stayed true to them was something to be debated.

Akito leaned into her and rested his chin on her shoulder. His lips brushed her ear as he murmured softly, words that shocked and astonished Kita more than the news of her father's death, more than Akito's promise to marry her...

"I love you, Kita. And I will allow nothing to come in between us."

Kita could barely believe it. He abused her and tried to take advantage of her but here he was, in a broken state, saying he loves her. Does he expect me to say it back, she wondered. She still didn't know how she felt about him since he never acted consistently. Today was a prime example.

He answered her unspoken question by kissing her with all the strength he could summon, falling against her, no longer able to support his own weight. Kita wrapped her arms around him to hold up his thin frame. He needed Hatori badly.

Kita directed him over to his futon but he refused to break the kiss so she ended up laying down next to him. She finally pulled away and he shivered from the loss of her body heat against him. She wrapped a blanket around him and ran out into the hallway, yelling frantically.

"Kureno! Hatori! Akito is sick! Badly sick. He needs help now!"

Hatori appeared running down the hall, apparently having been called for not long ago, with Kureno on his coattails. The three of them rushed into the room, Hatori kneeling down by Akito and Kita and Kureno standing by the door watching.

Hatori attempted to turn Akito's face towards him but he kept resisting, eventually swiping at Hatori, who ducked, missing the harsh blow.

"You don't have to stay. This will probably take a while." Kureno whispered to Kita. She nodded solemnly, knowing there was nothing she could do at this point.

She turned to leave, glancing sadly at the sick man on the floor one last time before she left.

-------------------------------------------

Kita brushed her teeth in the bathroom mirror, trying desperately to get Akito off her mind. After she had left him, she had watched a movie in the first room she found with a television and then gone into her room to read for a while, but the entire time she was preoccupied with thoughts about him. That expression on his face, so afflicted, so helpless, was enough to break her heart. As if it didn't have enough damage done to it already.

She rinsed out her toothbrush and sighed. I have to see him, she concluded. I won't be able to sleep until I know he's okay.

She walked to his door and slowly slid it open so she wouldn't wake him up if he happened to be sleeping already. She peeked inside the dark room, the only illumination being the moon, whose light was pouring through the window bathing his face in its gentle luminance. He looks so innocent, Kita thought, stepping quietly into the room to get a better view of him. His hair was spread out over the pillow like a dark halo, making Kita chuckle a little at how funny it looked. He had two thick blankets covering him and one that looked like he had kicked it to the end of the bed.

He opened his eyes halfway and looked up at her sluggishly.

"I'm sorry for waking you, Akito." she said, bowing instinctively. "I just wanted to make sure you were all right." she said, almost weepy, partly out of fear of punishment and partly out of concern for his well-being.

"I'll go back to my room." she said turning rapidly to go.

"Stay with me." he said, stopping her in her tracks. It sounded much more like a command than a request.

Kita turned towards him, knowing she didn't have a choice but not at all minding. She was kind of happy that she would get to make him feel better. She walked over to him and knelt down next to his futon, smiling weakly at him in a feeble attempt to cheer him up even though it was so hard to look at him this way. He loves me, Kita thought. This sick, abusive boy loves me. It's strange how life sometimes goes.

She felt his hand slide out from under the blankets and tightly take hold of her own hand, which had been resting on her knee.

"Stay all night." he said, as if he would never be well again unless she did. He pulled back the blankets for her so she could lie down next to him.

Instantly Kita mind jumped to the thought of what is he going to try but as she gazed at his suffering exterior, she realized that he was just looking for her company and nothing more.

She crawled into bed next to him, pulling the blankets around herself but making sure he had more of the blanket on his side. Akito wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her lightly on her forehead, pulling her close to him like a security blanket. He buried his face in her hair, the clean smell coming over him, making him feel pacified.

"Goodnight Kita." he crooned, as he quickly drifted off to sleep, cradling her in his arms.


	12. Hearts For The Heartless

_**Author's Note:** Eh, this is a minor chapter. Whatever._

_Chapter 11_ (Hearts For The Heartless)

"Kita, over here! I think this is what you're looking for." Hoshiko shouted with an almost sing-song tone from the opposite side of the convenience store. After school, Kita and Hoshiko had decided to go shop for chocolates for Valentine's Day because it was approaching quickly. Not to mention the fact that they hadn't seen much of each other lately so it was nice to be able to spend at least a little bit of time together. The store was surprisingly vacant of people considering that it was only a few days before Valentine's Day. They had been expecting the place to be crawling with women fighting over who would get the last box of creamy caramels.

School had let out early that day and Kita hadn't informed anyone at the Sohma Estate so there was no way Akito would be expecting her early. She had to get the candy and she couldn't think of any other possible way to do it but to buy it now.

Kita had spent the last two nights sleeping on Akito's futon. Both times, he had been very sick and uncharacteristically loving towards her. Usually the love part is covered by the desire to get her on the floor part. In the past few days though, he didn't try to push her beyond her limits, not that he even had the energy to. He would just constantly want to sit with her and tell her she's beautiful and that he loves her.

Kita thought it was strange that all of a sudden he changed from being so violent and lascivious to becoming so positively...sweet. It probably had to do with the illness but even that wasn't a total explanation. Again, Kita got that sense that there was something important that she didn't know about him.

He was a silent sleeper. He didn't snore, or talk, or even move. He would just lay there like a fresh corpse, still blessed with faint traces of life lingering in his cheeks and a little in his lips. That first time she had stayed with him, after Kita had woken up for school, she had been terrified that he had stopped breathing while he was asleep. She had to actually check his pulse and put her hand on his stomach to make sure air was still passing through his lungs.

No matter how sick he is today, I can't stay with him again, Kita told herself. She didn't want him getting used to her sleeping next to him every night because if he did, he might start demanding it all the time no matter what his physical state was. And if she were to stay when he was feeling good, it would be making things all too easy for him.

Currently, she was stuck wandering through the cosmetics aisle, initially trying to find where the candy was but getting distracted by some new powder and foundation combo. She didn't frequently go to this store and it changed around so often but it was the only place that was having a sale on Valentine's Day candy so it was their first pick.

"Over where?" she shouted back into the abyss of hygiene products and breakfast cereals.

"Three, no wait, four aisles over. Near the front."

Kita took the instructions and found Hoshi, sitting on the floor of the aisle in front of a monumental display of every chocolate and processed sugar product with hearts on it that you could ever hope to find. The entire aisle seemed to be packed full for women who venture out and purchase sweets for their husband, boyfriend, or 'just friend.'

"Whoa." Kita said, gazing intimidated up at the pink, white, and red mountain.

"Yeah. That is one shit-load of chocolate. We better start searching." Hoshi said, standing up. "Hey, what are you getting for Rai? I want to make sure we aren't getting him the same thing." She picked up a variety pack of chocolates and inspected the back for its contents.

"I was going to get him a big package of Reverse Pocky sticks actually." Kita said, finding the sticks and holding them up.

"Good. I was going to get him the variety. He seriously likes everything." she said, tossing the box into her shopper's bag. Kita nodded. It was true. When it came to candy, Rai wasn't picky. He once said, as long as it's covered in chocolate, it's good.

One down, Kita thought, putting the Pocky sticks in her bag.

With all the candy in front of them, buying for everyone else was simple. She got caramel-filled chocolates for Hatori, milk chocolate for Shigure, white and milk chocolate swirl for Hatsuharu, multicolored candy-coated chocolates for Momiji, butter creams for Kureno, and fruit creams for Hoshi.

As she moved down the aisle, she was reminded of someone who she wouldn't have to buy for this year. In front of her on the bottom shelf were peppermint chocolates, her father's favorite. She shakingly reached down and picked up a small box of them that resembled the box of chocolates she had bought for him last year. He had been so surprised and grateful for the gesture, he had enthusiastically eaten them all that night. She ran her finger over the edge of the box and placed it in her shopper's bag. Then she grabbed another box of them and put them next to the pervious box. Her mother's favorite were the peppermints too.

Now for the hardest person to shop for, Akito. Kita wasn't even sure if he liked chocolate since he really didn't seem to like much of anything. Plus, surrounded by all the pink and white hearts made her think he would be sickened to even stand within three meters of the aisle.

"Turn around." Hoshi said randomly.

"What?" Kita asked, realizing that she had been deep in thought.

"Turn around. I'm picking up something for you and I want to be able to pay for it without you seeing what it is." she said, holding her shopper's bag behind her back.

"Okay, turning around." Kita rotated to face the back of the aisle, where all the non-Valentine's candy was located. Amidst the bright-toned packaging and flashy gimmicks, one particular box caught Kita's eye.

It was a sort of metallic black box, pretty much a very dark gray shade, that caught the light in just the right way so that you were drawn to it. Shiny but not garish.

Kita walked over and picked up the box. Dark chocolates. She smiled and put them in her bag. Done.

"Hoshi, am I allowed to go pay for these now?" Kita shouted out in no specific direction.

"Yeah, I'm done." she shouted back from the front of the store.

Kita loaded her goods onto the counter and grabbed her wallet from her schoolbag.

The money Kita had for the chocolates had come straight from her dad's wallet. She wasn't allowed to access money from any bank accounts and she didn't have a job so all that was really left was the money directly from his wallet and the various monetary pieces he had hidden around the house in case of an emergency. It pained her to use the money, it felt like stealing, but she really didn't have any other options.

She watched the peppermint chocolates get rung up and found her heart breaking anew.

"So, where do you want to go now?" Hoshi asked Kita, drumming her fingernails on the counter. She was clearly irritating the check-out lady but didn't seem to notice or care.

I'm _out_, Kita pondered, finding the concept to be practically unheard of in recent times. I am currently free to do whatever I want for another hour without any obligations. I don't have to go to school or see Akito if I don't want to.

But when she really thought about it, she wasn't in the mood to do much of anything. She was an introvert by nature anyway. On top of that, her back and leg muscles had been infiltrated by shooting pains that would not cease and she really couldn't think of anything she'd rather do than sleep or read or even comfort Akito because she really had no energy for anything else.

"I don't feel right." Kita stated vaguely. "We could walk around a bit or something but I'm not up for anything too strenuous right now." Her voice sounded more melancholy than she would have liked.

Hoshiko raised an eyebrow. This wasn't normal Kita. Kita had never been anything resembling the life of the party prior to her father's death but she had always at least been willing to bare an event for the promise of a sleepover or seeing a late-night movie afterwards. She would approach any social gathering with an awkward smile and a corner to stand in while she contently observed everyone else acting wild. This new Kita didn't want to do anything at all. This new Kita knew nothing beyond wallowing and staying shut inside the Sohma gates. This new Kita walked around with her head down like she was going to burst into tears at any given moment but looked too nullified of emotion to actually cry. I want the old Kita back, Hoshiko decided.

"Listen Kita. Sometime soon, you, Rai, and I are going to go out like old times. We could go bowling and laugh about how we suck or drag Rai shopping or something, anything to bring you out of this funk you're in."

Kita simply nodded, knowing the likelihood of those plans ever taking place was slim.

"For now, I'm going to take you to a restaurant and we'll split the biggest dessert they have, on me, because you need human interaction. And you've been looking kind of skinny lately and I want to make sure you're getting your nutrients."

The corners of Kita's lips curled into a fleeting smile.

"See there's some old Kita coming back. Let's go!" she proclaimed, grabbing her hand and dragging her out of the store.

"I have to be home in an hour though, okay?" Kita said, but Hoshi didn't seem to hear her. In Hoshi's mind, time didn't exist.

Kita reached into her schoolbag pocket and turned on her cell phone to see what time it was.

Hoshiko may have all the time in the world, but I've got to meet a sick boy in an hour and if I don't show, he'll be mad.


	13. The Tease Game

**_Author's Note:_** _It's Valentine's Day! Nothing else to say about that. Read._

_Chapter 12_ (The Tease Game)

"How can you wake up so damn early?" Kita asked groggily, as she slid into the chair at the table next to Kureno, who was calmly sipping tea, fully awake. Kita had never been much of a morning person and in recent times, she has absolutely _hated_ waking up before one in the afternoon but Kureno was always up with the sun seven days a week, three hundred and sixty-five days a year.

Kureno shrugged his shoulders. "I've always gotten up early."

Kita made a groaning noise and threw her head over the back of the chair. Even when she was younger, she had a hard time getting up. It wasn't waking that bothered her; it was the physical action of leaving the comforts of her warm, soft bed for something as unpredictable as real life that she found difficult.

Then Kita remembered something Hatsuharu had said to her when she had asked him what he knew about Kureno. It was before Kureno had opened up and shared much with her so she had still been really curious about what hid behind his stoic facade.

"I-is it true that you're the r-rooster?" she asked bluntly but nervously.

Kureno chuckled dryly. It had been a long time since someone had asked him that. Even though Kita is a Sohma, there's still a lot she doesn't know.

"I used to be." he answered simply, opening up Kita's mind to a million new questions.

"Used to be?" Kita asked suspiciously, lifting her head up. No one used to be a Zodiac member unless they're dead.

"My curse has been lifted." Kureno answered. His answer was still vague and Kita continued to look at him like he had two heads so he wrapped his arms around her in a friendly hug to prove his statement. "See?"

"But...how?" Kita asked stunned, letting go of him.

"No idea. I don't think anyone knows but that's why Akito keeps me on such a short leash. I technically have no more ties to him so he's afraid I'll leave."

If someone could figure out how his curse was lifted, than everyone's curse could be lifted, Kita thought. Maybe that's what that Honda girl is expected to do for them. And that last comment Kureno made was just way too close to my situation. But wait, why does Akito want him around so desperately? Isn't the head of the family just supposed to watch over the Sohmas? And what does he mean 'ties'?

Kita shook her head trying to make all the new questions go away. It was too early for deep thinking.

"Oh, before I forget. Here Kureno." Kita said, handing him a wrapped box she pulled out of her schoolbag. Kureno gave her a bewildered look.

"What's that for?" He asked, inspecting the box.

Kita gave him a strange look. "Um, Valentine's Day. Did you forget?" she asked.

Kureno sighed. "I never really remember that sort of thing. It's not too important to me. In fact, this is the first time I've gotten anything for Valentine's Day in a long time."

Kita gave him a sad look. Being so isolated from everyone clearly doesn't allow relationships, of any kind, to form. Surely he must have had some reason to celebrate Valentine's Day when he was younger though. Holidays are always a topic for discussion in school. And if not in school, before his curse was lifted.

"Do you know what it's like to be in love, Kureno?" she asked curiously. Kureno raised his eyebrows.

"Kita, do you love someone?" he asked nervously. "Is it that Raidon boy?" She would be in so much trouble with Akito if she has fallen for that boy.

"No, no." Kita replied, shaking her head. "I was just wondering if you've ever fallen in love because if you had, you probably would have remembered Valentine's Day. What about a girlfriend? Have you really been so cloistered that you've never had a girlfriend?"

Kureno stared down at his hands. Should I tell her about meeting that girl in the convenience store? Would she tell Akito about it?

"Is it a secret?" Kita asked, gently. "I swear I won't tell anyone, especially not..." She glanced towards Akito's door. "If you don't believe me, I could share one of my secrets too, just to make it even."

Kureno thought about it for a second and realized that he probably shouldn't have been worried to tell her in the first place. He just has a hard time opening up to people no matter how trustworthy they inevitably are. She didn't seem to be one for giving away other people's secrets, even if she does lie. She'd probably lie about them having a secret so no one would ask.

He leaned in close to her as if he was afraid someone would overhear. "I met this girl in a convenience store a while ago. Her name's Arisa and she's a year younger than you. We went out once but I could never see her again."

"Why not?" Kita asked, looking at him sympathetically. "Wait, never mind. I know why. I'm sorry."

"It's okay." Kureno replied, his emotionless disposition returning.

"Okay, my half of the deal." Kita said, realizing that she would have to get walking soon, especially since she wanted to drop off Hatori's chocolates before school. "My last year of middle school, 'that Raidon boy' and I dated. There weren't any real romantic feelings between us though. Either way if Akito were to find out, I'd be afraid what he would do to me and him."

Kureno nodded and took a sip of his tea. He could certainly relate.

"Well, I have to go but before I do.." Kita reached into her bag and pulled out another wrapped box similar to the one she had given to Kureno. "Do you think you could get this to Shigure? I would go over there myself but it would take a while and I don't really want to irritate Akito by disappearing to deliver candy to other men."

"Yes, I think I could." Kureno said, taking the package from her and mentally planning a way to leave without Akito finding out.

"Thanks a lot. See you later." she said, waving at him over her shoulder.

On her way out the door, Kita stopped in front of Akito's room and placed the box of dark chocolates in front of his door with a little, mildly generic note to him.

_Happy Valentine's Day. I hope you're feeling better. I'll see you when I get home. -Kita._

Kita quickly made her way through the Sohma estate. The air was getting increasingly colder as a brisk breeze blew past Kita, sending her hair flying in all directions. Just when the weather starts to get nice again, it comes back with a drastic drop in temperature. She was glad to finally get to Hatori's door. Her fingers were frozen.

"Hello? Hatori? Special delivery." she shouted, tapping on his door and trying to at least rally up a little enthusiasm in her voice.

Hatori slid open the door wearing his long, white lab coat, a cigarette dangling from between his lips. Kita weakly held out the box to him as she stepped into his house.

"Valentine's Day chocolate. A little less addictive and a lot better for you than those," she said, motioning to the cigarette in his mouth.

Hatori took the box from her and actually smiled. There was something about her sullen mood that made everyone want to cheer her up.

"Thank you. How are you?" he asked, stubbing out the tobacco-filled stick in a nearby ashtray.

"I'm okay." Kita said instantly, the words sounding so rehearsed and meaningless. "And you?"

"Busy." he said plainly. Kita nodded. She had been seeing him go in and out of Akito's room for weeks but they never actually got the chance to stop and talk.

"Speaking of which," she said, slinging her bag over her shoulder, "I have school but we should catch up soon. I feel like I see you all the time without ever actually seeing you."

"I'll try to clear my schedule." he answered dryly, even though he knew he'd have time to talk to her in spite of his work. His work was Akito and she was Akito's.

Kita rolled her eyes. That's Hatori for you.

"Thank God. It's a frickin' half day." Hoshiko announced loudly in homeroom, practically asking the teacher to throw her out. Again. "Hello? It's Valentine's Day. Some of us have plans!"

She had been complaining since she first set foot in school and it looked like an all day rant was ahead of them. She would have ditched school completely but her boyfriend of the month, or week, had a full day so she decided to just go. And her parents made her because she had been skipping so much.

"So, who's the guy?" Raidon asked reluctantly. The last time he had shown any interest in her love life, she had gone into unnecessarily explicit detail.

"His name is Taro. He's really hot. He's a first year over at...oh jeez...I always forget where. That school on the other side of town..."

Kita and Raidon exchanged glances. Leave to Hoshi to forget where her new boyfriend goes to school. Not to mention the fact that there are a lot of schools on the other side of town.

"Whatever. Either way, we have plans." she said with a wink. Kita and Raidon shook their heads. As far as either of them knew Hoshiko had never actually had sex with anyone but she does have quite a bit of experience, and with experience comes a reputation.

"I have candy for you two by the way." Kita said, trying to change the topic. She pulled out the two packages for Raidon and Hoshiko and gave them the sweets, trying to at least _seem_ happy as she did it.

"Thanks." Rai said, his eyes lighting up at the sight of the Reverse Pocky sticks. He practically tore into the package, relishing in the chocolatey goodness but taking a quick break from his feast of gluttony to offer some to Hoshi and Kita.

"I have gifts too!" Hoshi said brightly, offering the variety box of chocolate to Rai and handing a perfectly square wrapped box to Kita.

"Oh man, I love this holiday!" Raidon said, sampling something from Hoshi's box. Hoshi swatted his hand away but he popped the orange cream into his mouth before she could get it back. Leave it to chocolate to turn Raidon from the quiet kid in the back to a caffeinated candy thief.

Kita tore off the paper on her gift and was surprised to find a simple chocolate heart. Like Kita, Hoshi puts a lot of thought into giving presents so she was expecting something less generic and more meaningful.

"Inside the heart, there are all these weird little fruity candies." Hoshiko explained. "It reminded me of you because sometimes what you see on the outside is not the same as what's going on inside."

I stand corrected Kita thought, giving Hoshi a hug of thanks, the hidden message in the candy not at all lost on her.

"Thank you, Kita!" Momiji exclaimed, jumping up and down with excitement. "There's even a rabbit on the box! You're so funny." He opened up the package and popped a few of the colorful candies into his mouth, giving her a wide grin.

"I try." Kita said, without even a trace of humor.

"Yes, thank you very much." Haru said, trying one of the two-toned chocolates.

"You're welcome. I've got to go so I'll see you guys later." Kita said, walking up the steps of the main house.

"Bye!" Momiji shouted. Haru gave Kita a cool wave and he and Momiji continued walking to their own houses.

Once inside the warmth of the main house, Kita slipped off her navy blue ballet slipper-like shoes and walked down the hallway towards Akito's room. She wasn't really sure what to expect of him today. Yesterday he wasn't really sick, he just had a headache so he was still acting kind of worn down but not in the disheartening way he was a few days ago.

She was about to open the door to his room when she heard someone say her name.

"Kita..."

The almost whisper was barely audible but in such a somber house, a pin could drop and everyone would turn their heads to look.

The voice sounded unlike any voice she had ever heard before. It had a falsely friendly, slightly sinister tone to it and there was a certain quality about it, most likely the octave at which her name was spoken, that made her believe it was a woman's voice. She didn't even know of any women who visited the main house. Of the Zodiac members, the only girls were Kagura, Haru's ex who Kita had never met, Rin, and the girl who followed Kita's mother as the tiger, whose name she had yet to discover.

Kita whipped her head around and looked up and down the hall only to find that there was no one there.

She was about to answer the strange address when the door to Akito's room slid open and she was abruptly pulled backwards into the room like something out of a horror movie.

The long-fingered hands on her shoulders forced her to turn around and she was actually relieved that her yellow-green eyes were met with the haunting stare of Akito's dark ones. His content facial expression showed that he seemed to be in a better mood today. Not happy, of course, just satisfied.

She was about to ask him about the voice but couldn't as she found her lips being pressed against his. It can wait, she thought, as she felt herself being pulled down onto the floor so she was now laying on top of his slender body. He placed one of his hands on the small of her back and the other quickly entwined with her soft, purple-tinted hair, pushing her face towards his. He was being surprisingly gentle, a feeling Kita welcomed.

Surprising Akito, she moved away from his mouth and buried her face in his shoulder, placing tiny kisses on his neck and moving down to his protruding collarbone and the visible part of his chest. He was hard to resist when he acted so lovingly towards her.

Kita's kisses became lighter and lighter until she stopped altogether and rested her head on his chest, willing herself not to fall asleep. She was so tired that even his bony physique made such a good pillow that if she were to allow her eyes to shut, she would probably drift off right away.

He slowly sat up, crossing his legs and allowing her head to roll into his lap. She smiled up at him, actually smiled. And Kita thought she had lost the ability to really smile. It's probably just a result of how sleepy I am, she thought.

Akito reached somewhere out of Kita's eyeshot and when his hand came back into focus, he was holding a small chocolate in his skeletal fingers. He held the treat in front of her closed mouth like he was going to feed it to her so she parted her lips slightly but he took the sweet away and popped it into his own mouth with a smirk of self-satisfaction. Kita didn't really mind the cruel joke, not that she could say anything anyway.

He pulled out another chocolate and held it to her mouth so that it was touching her lips. This time, Kita realized that he wanted her to work for it so she stuck out her tongue, licking the chocolate and trying to pry it out of his fingers without the use of her hands, the taste of bitter sweet candy and salt from his flesh mixing together like a perfect contradiction. Despite her efforts, he pulled the candy away from her again and ate it in one bite. Kita pouted slightly, just enough to show him that she was now upset by his little game. He, on the other hand, was enthralled by how frustrated she was. It was like a cat with a yarn ball only this game was a lot more fun.

"Oh, Kita, do you want one?" he asked with mock surprise.

Kita nodded, partly because she knew he wanted her to and partly because now she really did want one.

Akito slipped a chocolate into her mouth and she devoured it hungrily. It was clearly one of the chocolates she had given him, dark chocolate on the outside but with creamy caramel on the inside, something she wasn't expecting but it tasted so good together.

"Mmm." she said, relishing in the rich flavor. She turned her attention towards him as one of her restless hands began to fiddle with the opening to his yukata, not really thinking about how he would view the action. She was just trying to stay awake after a long day.

The sound emanating from her mouth combined with the fact that her head was laying between his legs and her hand seemed to be asking for trouble, caused Akito's mind to fill with lewd thoughts.

Thankfully for Kita, Kureno walked into the room unannounced, causing Akito's previous thoughts to get pushed to the back of his mind for later and causing Kita to get a little embarrassed.

"Akito, I have a very important matter to discuss with you in private." Kureno said, gravely. Kita sat up and checked Akito's reaction to the news. He looked furious.

"I'll leave." Kita said quickly, bowing at the two men and inching towards the door.

"I'll send for someone when we're done. Dinner's almost ready I think." Kureno told her.

"Okay." Kita said, slipping out of the room, knowing it was only a matter of seconds before Akito flipped out.

Sure enough, once she was back in her own room, she heard Akito yell out in anger followed by a rational-sounding remark from Kureno.

What was so private that I couldn't hear it? she wondered.


	14. Relaxation Gone Awry

**_Author's Note:_** _Content warning on this one. Not too bad but some people can't handle it so to those people, stop reading before it goes too far._

_And look up the words to "Miss World" by Hole. They fit well with the story._

_Chapter 13_ (Relaxation Gone Awry)

Laying down on her back in the sanctuary that was her bedroom, Kita could relate to the blank white of her ceiling, just as empty and bland as she felt. She imagined herself as being a sky without a sun or moon. There, but nothing special, nothing worth paying attention to. The world didn't serve any mood-altering purpose to her anymore, not that she wanted to feel again. She only ever got hurt. All she could feel was the feeling of never being able to feel, if that could be classified as such. She couldn't bring herself to laugh at a joke because nothing sounded humorous or to cry about her state because she felt like everything that was sad was not real. It was like living in a plastic bubble; she could see the world around her, but it had no effect on her. On the outside looking in, but in her case, she was on the inside looking out.

Sure, there were people who worried about her and cared about her but really, why should they worry? Kita wondered. I am dead inside and there's no way around it. I died right alongside my father in a metaphorical hospital bed. His death marked the end of the life I once knew. I have now embarked on a new life, one where every moment is planned out for me to serve and care for Akito.

Kita longed for the days when her plans were her own; when she had freedom; when college was a given, not something to pray for; when spending time with her friends wasn't considered treason, not that she even liked going _out_ to spend time with them.

But every time she thought this, she would feel a bit guilty for wanting to leave Akito so desperately. The guilt had been particularly bad in recent times, when he'd been so sick. But when he was sick, she didn't want to leave him at all. She wanted to stay with him and take care of him. During these times, the guilt came solely from thinking more about her future plans. She didn't want to leave him permanently after high school, she just wanted to be able to go out into the world on her own, maybe finally get over her shy exterior. She would visit him of course, even live with him over vacations if he wanted, she just didn't want to spend the rest of her life waiting until he needed her for one thing or another. If she were to leave, who would sit with him for hours when he was sick or lonely? Probably a Zodiac member, whoever used to do so before she came along. But if she left, he would probably be pushed over the edge. He loved her, after all.

One of the only emotions Kita could feel splashed over her, confusion. Something commonly brought on by thoughts of Akito. She wanted freedom, but she didn't want to leave him. She wanted to go to college but she didn't want to be punished, especially since that kind of act seemed punishable by being locked up. She wanted to be able to reciprocate his feelings towards her, but she was terrified at the thought.

Kita groaned and realized that she needed a distraction. She couldn't keep thinking about this; it only made life more complicated. Just deny the problems and they'll eventually go away, she thought, knowing she was only lying to herself.

The reason she had ended up lying on her bed doing nothing aside from feeling worthless was because after school, Akito had shooed her away, saying that he had business to attend to and that her presence wouldn't be required. Although she was glad she had been given time to herself for the first time since she moved in, she found little to do with it when leaving wasn't an option. She had more than exhausted her usual alone-time rituals of watching movies and listening to music while reading in the time before she would go to bed. What else was there to do?

She had ended up taking a walk around the Sohma estate, greeting family members she hadn't seen in years but she didn't actually get to talk to them for too long because they were busy. The idea had crossed her mind to find someone to hang out with but Haru was over Shigure's and Momiji was out somewhere with Hatori. In fact, the only one who was at the estate who she could talk to was Kureno, but when she bumped into him, he was coming into the main house with a determined, uneasy expression on his face so she decided that she shouldn't bother him. The cold air had helped her clear her mind but once she came back, it had started working superfluously. On the plus side, Kita had found a secret entrance into the Sohma gates. It was a hole, probably caused but a fissure in the foundation that eventually eroded away into a gap ideal for escaping or entering through. She had absolutely no intentions of bringing it to Akito's attention. Whether or not she would use it remained yet to be determined.

Kita groggily sat up and looked out the window. It was a cool day, cloudy so there wasn't too much sun, and all the snow had melted away making the ground feel damp, as she had observed when she had walked around the estate. She glanced at the book on her nightstand and an idea formed in her mind. Since Akito wasn't in his room, she could go in there and amuse herself with some literature without being disturbed. The thought of reading on his porch sounded like the perfect way to waste the rest of the day so she grabbed the book and tiptoed into his room, stealthily shutting the door behind her.

She walked over to the door to the porch and pushed it open the whole way so that the room was opened up to the outside. The bare trees were dripping with crystal drops of water that would eventually find their way into the cold ground. Everything seemed to have an apparitional, transparent glow to it. She laid down so that her legs were technically still inside the room but the rest of her body was out on the porch. Beautiful place to read, she thought, opening up her book.

It was one of Shigure's books, the 'other stuff,' she called it. She had a passing thought of how Akito would react to see her reading such a book but just shut it away and went back to indulging in the magic of the literary word. It was the furthest away she was allowed to get from her life.

Suddenly, Kita heard a loud crash echo from down the hall that sounded like a stack of plates hitting the floor and shattering into a million pieces. The harsh noise caused her to bolt upright. One of the servants must be having a clumsy day, Kita thought, deciding it was nothing to wonder about as she laid back down. After the crash however, she heard another unexpected noise, a loud thud coming from the same corner of the house.

Is it...?

Kita shook her head, deciding she must just be jumping to conclusions and went back to immersing herself in the love scene before her.

As she read, she heard the faint sound of a door sliding open and an even fainter sound of footsteps closing in on her. Thoroughly apathetic, Kita continued to read until she felt a weight fall onto her.

She glanced over the edge of the book and saw Akito sitting on her, holding a very unsettling expression. His eyes were glassy and bloodshot like he hadn't slept in weeks. His hair was even more disheveled than usual and it looked greasy and dirty. Although he didn't seem too bad yesterday, he had apparently been so sick that he couldn't even bring himself to bathe properly. On his forehead were drops of perspiration that looked stress-related and his cheeks were an angry red. His yukata was tied loosely, too loosely for comfort, as Kita could see all the way down it from the position she was in.

She averted her eyes from his disturbing appearance and held her book in front of her face, trying to read again. She tried not to care that he was on top of her and looking atrocious. She had expected her sense of emptiness to see nothing out of the ordinary occurring but internally, she was staring to get unsteady.

Akito snatched the book from her hands and threw it across the room so that it made contact with the wall and fell pathetically to the floor. Kita allowed her hands to drop to her sides as she stared into his cold, steel eyes trying to figure out what kind of mood he was in. He seemed mad, but not at her. He was tense about something. That was obvious. He was definitely feeling sick but the kind of sick where your head hurts and everything is annoying as a result, not bedridden sick like he had been.

Akito leaned forward, kissing her fiercely and forcing his tongue into her mouth. Kita just laid there, not really kissing back but not trying to stop what he was doing. She didn't care.

Akito was annoyed that she wasn't responding to him. Usually an advance such as this one would cause her to respond by returning his gestures with equal vigor or she would respond with nervousness and slight apprehension. He enjoyed both reactions immensely but right now it was like he was kissing a dead girl. Little did he know, she certainly thought herself to be one.

He grabbed one of her hands and swung it around his shoulders, trying to at least put some life back into her and get her to make a move of some sort. Kita decided to go with it and put her other hand on his emaciated chest. Every bone of his ribcage was palpable beneath her warm palm. Kita was surprised to find that it made her a little sad, even though she was already aware of how thin he was.

She timidly kissed back a little, moving her tongue against his, but found her efforts to be tiring. He was overwhelming her so easily that trying to at least give something back was difficult. She went limp again.

Akito placed a small kiss on her chin and then moved to her neck, nipping gently at the soft skin. She remained mute as she watched his almost loving acts, trying to entertain herself. She wasn't bored but she felt as if none of it was really happening. It was as if she was watching a movie or having a vivid dream or even sitting in the corner watching Akito kiss her body without her mind present.

One hand lightly caressed her jaw as his other hand grasped the hand that was still placed upon his chest and moved it down his torso. Kita's eyes widened, feeling some emotion get pumped back into her as her mind reentered her body. She was starting to act normal again, all vulnerable, scared, and innocent. Akito smirked. She would probably get scared further to see how much he is stimulated by it.

He moved her hand lower and curled her fingers around his erection. Kita sucked in a breath, hoping that he wouldn't notice how insecure he was making her, knowing that he liked frightening her. He saw her startled reaction and smiled maliciously at the girl, recapturing her lips in an aggressive kiss.

She didn't really know what to do about her hand. She knew what he was expecting of her; she was innocent, not naive, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. When it came to thoughts of the expectations, she was back to watching the scene from the corner of the room. She was merely the audience to a show like the reader of a book. The most she could do is say things to the imaginary characters, knowing it wouldn't make a difference. She didn't let go, nor could she move her hand.

Akito sucked on her lower lip, running his tongue sensually over the delicate flesh. She allowed her mouth to open a bit, memories of what it felt like to be wrapped up in him starting to quickly come back to her. Kita's eyes fluttered closed until an unanticipated, sharp pain flooded through her as he pierced her lip between his canine and its corresponding tooth. She let out a hurt wail as the area around her lower lip went numb from the unexpected attack. A small stream of blood began to trickle slowly down to her chin.

Akito glared at her and Kita grudgingly moved the idle hand up and down. He smirked again, leaning down to kiss her and smearing blood onto her hostile, closed lips. He moaned into her mouth as she stroked him faster, trying to speed up the act so it could be over sooner.

Akito came, falling against her shoulder, breathing heavily. Out of the corner of her eye, Kita glanced towards her discarded book on the floor. So much for a quiet evening of reading.

Akito lifted up his head and used his thumb to wipe the remaining blood from his bite off her lips and chin, a sickeningly demure smile on his face as he did it. He placed a gentle, affectionate kiss on her lips and then leaned closely to her, his heated breath burning the shell of her ear and making the hairs stand on end.

"Thank you, Kita." he mused complacently.

Kita stared blankly into his eyes as he gave her one last light kiss and casually stood up, adjusting his yukata and exiting without another word. He unfortunately had somewhere to be. After a meeting so disastrous, the pit-stop to see Kita was to de-stress so he could make it through the rest of the day.

Bring on the bitch, he thought as he entered the sitting room down the hall with his head held high.

Meanwhile, Kita got up from the floor and wiped her hand on the edge of his porch. In the back of her mind, she was hoping he'd notice the specimen and be revolted by himself. However, it was an unlikely hope.

She walked over to the other side of the room and picked up her book. It didn't look at all damaged from its collision with the wall. Calmly, she walked back over to the porch and laid down, opening the book and trying to tune out the sounds coming down the hall of a women and Akito yelling furiously at each other as if nothing had happened.


	15. A Perfectly Elastic Collision

**_Author's Note:_** _I apologize for the last chapter and must also warn you, that's not the end of bad stuff. But there has to be bad before it can be good again. Bear with me here!_

_Weird author fact: Raidon is 5' 9" height-wise and still growing and Hoshiko is 5'6" in her shoes. Without them, she's only 5'3" and shorter than Kita who's 5'4". Since she can't wear heels in school, she is actually the shortest a lot of the time and a little insecure about it but her presence is so much bigger than Kita's that it doesn't matter._

_Akito's technical height is 5'4 ½" but since that came from the manga, I would think 'male' Akito is actually 5'8 ½" because in the anime, he's taller than Yuki but shorter than Shigure._

_Random character height facts. Anyway...on with it!_

_Chapter 14_ (A Perfectly Elastic Collision)

Kita held the uncapped cover stick up to her face, just below her lip, and paused, the concealer still dangling from her fingertips in midair.

The area that Akito had bitten yesterday was marred by a circular portion of reddened skin with a very deep puncture in the center that was scabbing over. It looked as if Kita had tried to pierce her lip on her own and that it had gotten severely infected.

Under normal circumstances, this ugly mark would be instantly hidden from the eyes of the public but as Kita gazed at her reflection in the large mirror, she realized that she didn't have any desire to smear the flesh-toned concealer against her battered skin. She didn't want to hide the wound.

She put the long, blue cap back on the cover stick and tossed it defiantly into the trash can. Let Akito face what he did. Let them all see.

Of course, she still powdered the rest of her face.

Kita walked back to her room and snatched the two boxes of peppermint candy that she had purchased a while ago at the convenience store off her dresser, placed them in her bag, and ran out the door.

"Kita, what happened to your face?" Hoshiko asked, staring at the large slit under Kita's lip. They were all lazily slumped over their chairs waiting for homeroom to start but, as usual, the teacher was off somewhere caring as little about schoolwork as the students did this close to graduation. "Did you try to pierce your lip?" Hoshi wondered out loud, reaching out to touch it curiously. Kita turned her head away before her finger could get at it.

It was better than the truth, she thought. So much for taking a stand.

"Yeah but I guess I had a reaction or something." Kita said, touching the crusty injury caused by Akito's lust and anger. Just lightly grazing it with her finger was enough to send fresh, acute pains through her lips, up to her forehead, and down her neck. It was a bite whose pain spanned all the contours of her face.

"You should have seen a professional." Raidon said, sitting at his desk with his nose in a thick fantasy novel. "Then you probably wouldn't have had a problem. Unless you're allergic to the metal or something."

"Yeah," Kita said, her voice trailing off as she spoke. She stared down at the floor guiltily. I'm such a liar, she thought.

"Now that we have that cleared up, I have an announcement!" Hoshiko said jumping up onto her chair like a soapbox. "Clear your schedules this Friday because we are going to a party!"

Raidon and Kita lifted their eyebrows in complete disbelieve. Their crowd had never been to a party together unless one of them was hosting it or it was open for anyone to come. Hoshiko went to parties with her boyfriends but, as she has told them, she would usually leave early to spend some intimate time with her boyfriend at her house since her mom was a workaholic and hardly ever at home.

"I hate to tell you this Hoshi, but the three of aren't exactly the most popular people on the planet. In fact, I don't think I would be out of line in saying we are socially defective. Why would we be invited to a party?" Raidon asked, shutting his book and looking up at her.

"Because my boyfriend is throwing it!" Hoshiko squeaked joyously.

How could I possibly go to a party? Kita wondered. Just imagining how the conversation would go caused her to shudder.

'_Akito, can I go out to a party my friend's boyfriend is throwing?'_

'_Why do you need to go out? I could entertain you..'_

"I can't go." she said quickly, turning to stare at the floor again.

Hoshi furrowed her brows. "No way. You are not getting out of this! We haven't done anything fun since your father died. You need to go out and starting acting like you used to!" Hoshi took a moment to calm down when she realized how commanding she was being. "I know you don't like parties but afterwards we can go somewhere like to the movies or something. Either way, you have to come. We need you there."

Great, Kita thought mordantly. I guess the only thing I can do is sneak out. She remembered the hole in the wall and a idea started to take shape. I can go through the hole in the wall and if I get home early, Akito might not even care too much, she hoped. He'll care but maybe if I have a good alibi and if I spend the rest of the night with him, he'll let me get away without punishment.

"When is it?" Raidon asked, thoroughly uninterested. He was even less of a party person than Kita. At the few parties they had gone to, he had sat on a random couch and read the entire night. Although, he did get a few dance offers which he promptly turned down because he refuses to believe he possesses even the slightest ability to dance.

"The party starts at five and goes to whenever." Hoshi said with a sneaky smile as if she intended to spend a wild night of passion with her boyfriend even though they'd be too intoxicated to remember it.

"Fine. I'll go." Raidon said knowing that if he didn't agree Hoshiko would start begging and getting melodramatic. As if she wasn't already. He opened his book again and went back to reading, tuning out everything else.

Hoshiko glanced over at Kita and crossed her arms, impatiently tapping her foot waiting for an answer.

"I'll go but I can't stay long." she said, reluctantly agreeing.

"You won't regret it!" Hoshiko said, hopping off her chair and hugging Raidon who apathetically peeled her arms off him, his eyes never leaving the book. Kita's arms stiffed as Hoshi attempted to hold her in a tight squeeze as well.

I'm sure I will, Kita thought glumly. She knew Hoshi was just trying to help but this attempt at fixing her problems sounded like it could only stir up more disorder.

Kita knelt down halfway between her mother and father's graves. The ground was no longer damp but it had gotten almost below freezing again like it was two days ago and it caused Kita to lose all feeling in her knees. Lose feeling in your heart, lose feeling in your knees, what does it matter.

"Hi Mom and Dad." Kita said, sounding a lot more miserable than she really was. "I know Valentine's Day was two days ago but I have presents for you today."

Kita dug around in her bag pushing past heavy schoolbooks and neurotically organized folders until she found the two boxes. They were in mint condition having never actually left the top of her dresser after she had bought them. She placed a box on each tombstone and then went back to kneeling on the frozen dirt.

"So, things have been...well, things have been inconsistent. I wasn't able to deliver these chocolates to you because Akito has been wanting me around the house. He likes it when I take care of him when he's sick and he doesn't really let me go out much. I enjoy his company...most of the time." Kita motioned to the scab under her lip and stopped talking, wondering exactly how much she should tell the spirits. She sure as hell wasn't going to mention yesterday, she could barely understand it herself and it wasn't the kind of thing you wanted your parents to know, but she could tell them about what happened the first time he was sick. That was a more pleasant anecdote.

"He told me he loved me. A few times actually. I don't really know what to think or how I feel about it. I actually don't really know how to feel about much of anything anymore."

Kita sighed. This was a lot harder than she had hoped it would be. As she sat there spilling out her soul to souls that might not even be present, she realized that she wanted her parents to help her. She wanted feedback on her problems, her lack of feelings, dealing with Akito's newfound temerity, and even help with what to do about this upcoming Friday. On top of that, the fact that she was going to be late getting home was weighing heavily in her mind.

"Being stuck at the main house and being without you two has been making me sad, but not teary sad, numb, like I'll never be able to feel happy or sad again." Kita's voice lowered to a whisper. "I want to feel again." She glanced at the graves as if to subconsciously ask if they had heard her and then abruptly stood up. Now she was really late.

"I have to go. I love you and I miss you both so much." she said, touching both the tombstones like a substitute for an embrace and then immediately took off towards Sohma house.

Kita was thankful she had worn her flats again because as she heard her feet pound on the pavement, she could imagine herself tripping on the broken sidewalk and scraping up her face while people walked past her, uninterested in helping her or finding out if she's okay. People shot her nasty looks as she ran past them, careful not to bump into them. She had developed a special skill when it came to agilely maneuvering through large crowds as she had been doing since she was little. Always trying to get through them to get away so she could be alone.

No wonder I'm such an outcast, she thought.

She raced up the steps to the main house, kicking off her shoes when she got inside and taking off down the hallway. How many minutes? Kita wondered. Five? Ten? Fifteen minutes late? Will Akito notice if it's such a small increment?

Suddenly a woman entered the hallway from a side door so quickly that even with Kita's special skill, she couldn't dodge her and the two collided. Kita fell to the floor, first hitting her knee on the ground and then falling onto her behind while the women only stumbled backwards a bit.

"Ow, watch it!" the women shouted, standing up straight and smoothing out her intricately designed and clearly expensive kimono.

"Sorry, I'm just really late so I was running.." Kita said, pushing her hair away from her eyes and looking up at her. She had long black hair and eyes that possessed a familiar cold quality. Kita couldn't remember ever seeing her before but she felt like she had met her.

"Kita?" the women asked skeptically.

"Yes. That's me." Kita said, standing up and bowing. "And you.."

"So this _is_ her." the women said, cutting her off. She began to look very closely at Kita like she was inspecting a diamond for quality, which Kita assumed this woman had done before.

"Dirty hair that definitely needs to washed." the women noted taking a piece of Kita's hair between her fingers and scowling. "Not that I was expecting a very well-kept girl."

Kita resented the comment. She took good enough care of herself, just maybe not as well as she used to.

She tucked the strand behind Kita's ear and began to examine her face.

"Beautiful eyes." The women observed, staring into her yellow-green eyes like she was trying to look past them for something underneath. "Hm, tiger-like. No surprise there." she said distastefully. "Decent skin color: even, clear."

Of course that was because of Kita's face powder but she didn't need to know that.

The women took a step back like she was trying to get a better view of the whole picture. "A little bigger than I expected. I was anticipating nothing but skin and bones, not quite so curvy and soft, and maybe a bit shorter."

Unbeknownst to this woman, Kita has actually been quickly losing weight since she moved there but Kita didn't reflect on the comment since it really didn't sound like either a compliment or an insult.

"All in all, pretty but nowhere near gorgeous." the women concluded, satisfied.

Kita frowned. Who the hell did this women think she was?

"Are you smart?" The women asked Kita, her expression remaining harsh and critical.

"Well, that's a hard question to answer." Kita stated. "If I say no, I'm not only stupid but I also have low self-esteem. If I say yes, I'm egotistical."

The women nodded as if that was an acceptable answer.

"How about athletic?" she asked. Kita felt like she was at a job interview from hell or some kind of crude dating service.

"I'm more so the girl hiding underneath the bleachers playing poker with a small group during gym class." Kita answered.

So she's probably not very strong, the women thought. That's convenient.

"Well, it's...a _pleasure_ to finally meet you." the women said, giving her a sneer-like smile. "Oh and one more thing," she said raising a finger to the scab below Kita's lip. "You might want to be more careful around my son. He can be quite ill-tempered and you wouldn't want another...problem like that." And with that the women exited the hallway, leaving Kita to stand dumbstruck, her original purpose forgotten.

Son? _Son? _She's his _mother_? Kita could barely process the information. She could never have imagined Akito as having parents. He just seemed like he materialized one day out of air particles or was orphaned or abandoned. She wasn't expecting to actually meet the women who gave birth to him, especially not in the main house. How could she have lived there for a month and had never met her? She probably lives somewhere else in the Sohma estate, but still...

Oh no, Akito! Kita remembered, running to his door and slipping inside. He was lying down on the floor with his head held up by one hand, looking very serene.

"Where were you?" Akito asked calmly as she knelt down in front of him. He seemed to still be a little on edge but not nearly as scary as he had been yesterday.

"I-I went to the cemetery t-to see my parents." Kita stuttered. Why is it that I can still feel scared around him? She wondered. "Then I bumped into this woman in the hallway..."

Akito's eyes widened knowing exactly who she was talking about.

That bitch said she wouldn't talk to her, Akito thought, his head raging from the revelation. I told her not to even get within ten feet of Kita. What kind of mind corruption and degradation has she already tried on her? And what the hell was she doing inside the main house?

He lunged towards Kita, clutching her shoulders tightly.

"Don't _ever_ speak to that women again!" he yelled at her, shaking her rancorously. Kita quickly put her hands down on the wood floor so that if she fell or was hit, she would be able to regain her balance easily.

"I won't! I won't! I swear!" Kita promised, terrified that Akito was going to hurt her.

But, to her surprise, he didn't. He slowly stopped shaking her and let go of her before steadily standing up and walking over to the large window. Fittingly, the sun was hidden behind dark storm clouds that threatened freezing rain.

"Um, Akito?" Kita started, timidly moving towards him. "Are you okay?" she asked. As much as she hated to admit it, she felt sorry for him and more concerned about him than she felt she should be of someone who causes her to lead such a strictly cloistered and almost servile life.

Akito let out a heavy breath and clinched his fists by his sides.

"I'd be better if she would die."


	16. February Stars

_**Author's Note: **Content warning. I must advise you to read past the bad part because as a result of it, something very important happens. All things happen for a reason in my stories so if anything bad happens, it's because something good will come as a result._

_And after the next chapter (aka rock bottom) I SWEAR things get better. _

_**Oh crap, I keep forgetting dividers for scenery changes. I apologize if you have been getting confused.**_

_Enjoy._

_Chapter 15_ (February Stars)

Kita looked down at the half-empty bottle of sake in her hands and sighed. She had been at the party for three hours even though it felt like thirty. She lazily leaned back onto the small pile of coats next to her consisting of only Raidon's green-brown cargo trench coat and her own long, black jacket. Raidon was sitting next to her reading with a book in one hand and an empty bottle in the other hand. His spiky, red hair drooped over his dark brown eyes and every time he moved, the sound of chains hitting his oversized black cargo pants and bracelets rubbing against his sweatbands could be heard signifying that he was still alive. They were currently seated on the only couch that didn't have some drunk couple making out on it. To say the least, they were so out of place.

It had taken three hours for Raidon to consume a small bottle of sake while Kita was only halfway through with hers. She had drunk sake before but it was with her father and it didn't taste this foul. Neither of them wanted to get drunk; they didn't even want to get buzzed but it was the only drink being served and if they didn't at least hold a bottle, they would have inebriated kids coming up to them every five seconds asking if they want something to drink.

It was hard to miss Hoshiko as she was wearing a skimpy, bright yellow tank top that brought out the gold tones in her honey-colored eyes and a short white skirt to show off her long legs. She liked warm, bright colors that would draw attention to her and she was doing a fine job of it by dancing suggestively with her boyfriend Taro, the wavy blond-haired first year who had thrown the party. Both of them were pretty drunk and had just gotten over their second fight that evening.

"Why does she do this stuff to herself?" Kita asked out loud to Raidon who was still more fascinated by his book than the ongoing festivities. He had been asked to dance by a couple loosened-up, first-year girls who seemed immensely fascinated in trying to see through his gray t-shirt but he wasn't interested in girls who slurred their words or didn't know half of the words in his wide vocabulary so he politely declined.

Raidon looked up at Hoshi and Taro who were now sloppily kissing to a cheering audience of Taro's friends.

"I couldn't fathom why." he said, shaking his head. "Maybe if she were to find a more mature boy without dipsomaniac tendencies, she could finally be totally fulfilled in her romantic endeavors and stop getting into so many unpredictable situations."

Kita nodded. "Yes, but what are the odds of her finally being attracted to someone who would be a good influence on her?" Kita asked, taking a tentative sip of the sake and scrunching up her face. Nope, still terrible.

"Unfortunately slim." he said, sighing. Poor Hoshi has no idea what's wrong about what she does.

Raidon opened his book again. He was already worn down by the party and they hadn't done anything but talk, pretend to drink, and talk some more with Hoshiko checking up on them every fifteen minutes or so to make sure they were having a good time. It was really the atmosphere that was so tiring. Drunk people are such nuisances.

Kita's gaze shifted from watching Hoshi and Taro to another couple that was sitting on a chair in the corner of the large room. The girl was sitting in the boy's lap and they were both smiling at each other. Real smiles, not drunk ones. Kita couldn't really read lips but she knew what one phrase looked like. "I love you," she saw the boy murmur to the girl, his voice inaudible to Kita over the music playing. The girl smiled a little wider and replied with, "I love you too," and the pair kissed sweetly.

"I want that." Kita said out loud to herself.

"Huh?" Raidon asked, looking up.

"I want that." Kita repeated, pointing to the happy couple.

Raidon looked over at them and chuckled to himself.

"You'll get that." he said, sounding very sure and sincere. Kita snorted in disbelief.

"I'm serious." Raidon said, now sounding a bit annoyed by her lack of confidence. "You deserve that after all the trauma that had struck you. You need someone who could help you to feel again because as much as Hoshi and I want to help you, it's blatantly obvious that we can't."

Kita looked down sadly. She almost had that. Almost. Akito_ did_ have the ability to make her feel scared. She was currently in a relationship but she couldn't see any actual love in it. There was evident lust and, well, a touch of sadism and that wasn't even close to love. Akito _said_ he loved her but she had a hard time believing it. When he was sick though, it seemed almost like love, the fact that he only felt better when she was around and the way he held her...but every other time it was like she was a toy. She had remembered hearing things about Akito locking up Yuki and using him as something to take out his aggression on. Was she the same thing?

I should get in contact with Yuki sometime, Kita thought. Maybe he could explain some things about Akito to me. I'd really like some answers.

"You'll get that too, Rai." she said, offering him a weak smile.

Raidon smiled back at her. "I hope so. I'd really like to meet a girl who I could have an intelligent conversation with and want to make out with concurrently." he said, sounding pleased for the first time that night.

_Akito_.

"Oh no, what time is it?" Kita asked, grabbing his wrist to see his watch. The digital display flashed back at her, 8:00. "I have to go." she said, quickly standing up and grabbing her coat. "Bye Rai!"

"Okay, bye Kita." Raidon replied over his shoulder as she took off to find Hoshi.

Luckily, Hoshi's face wasn't attached to Taro's any more so she didn't feel bothersome for interrupting their dance.

"I'm going." she said to Hoshi. "Um, thank you for inviting me, Taro." she said awkwardly. She wasn't good with people. The shyness always came out.

Taro gave her a sterile nod.

"Oh no. Yo goin' Keets?" Hoshi asked surprised. Kita cringed. She had only seen Hoshi drunk once before and it made her feel very uncomfortable. They could always tell when she was drunk because she used her drunken nicknames for them.

"Yeah, I'm going. Bye Hoshi." she said, with a little wave.

Hoshi let go of Taro and wrapped her arms tightly around Kita, her shoulder-length black hair hitting Kita in the face as she gave her a kiss on the cheek.

"I wahv oou, Keets!" she said like she was announcing it to the entire room. "Oou too, Rai Rai!"

Raidon turned around and waved at her, rolling his eyes.

"I love you too, Hoshi. Now, I have to go." Kita said uneasily.

"'Kay. Bye!" she said happily, letting go of her to drape herself over Taro again in an archetypal display of artificial happiness.

---------------------------------------

Kita tiptoed through the main house, praying with every step that she would not get in trouble. She hadn't meant to stay so long but every time she had tried to leave Hoshi would insist that she wasn't feeling better and that she couldn't leave until she was cured of her lowly demeanor.

As long as I get to my room and change I'll be fine, she thought.

Kita was dressed in a black skirt with a white dot pattern on it that was not practical in the cold weather, and a square-necked, purple tank top that looked nice with her hair. She would have preferred going in jeans and a sweatshirt, something warm, but she wanted to avoid a lecture from Hoshi on how to dress for a party, so she dressed for a party. Unfortunately, her coat barely helped to keep her from freezing to death on the walk home, er, back to the main house.

As the door to her room came into sight, she let out a breath of relief. I'm going to make it.

But her hopes came to a crashing end as the door to Akito's room slid open and he stepped out into the hallway. Kita quickly wrapped her coat tightly around herself so he couldn't see what she was wearing.

"Kita, there you are." he stated, the words flowing smoothly from his mouth. "Your cell phone was off when I tried to call. Now where had you run off to?" he asked, closing the gap between them.

Lie, Kita's mind demanded. Make up a lie! Tell him you went out to dinner alone. Tell him you went to the cemetery. Tell him anything but that you went to a party.

"I...I." Kita stuttered as Akito glared down at her, his dark eyes seeing right through her. She couldn't bring herself to lie to him.

Akito leaned into her suspiciously.

"Oh, little Kita. Do I detect the acrid scent of alcohol on your breath?" he said as if the question should be followed by a _tut-tut-tut, shame on you_.

Kita's mouth hung open but no excuse would leave. She felt her eyes get heavy like she might cry from the pressure he was putting on her. What could she say?

Losing patience, Akito grabbed Kita's trembling hands that were holding her coat closed. The material fell away from her mid-section and her outfit was revealed to him proving where she had been. With an almost inhuman sound of wrath, he forcefully pushed her into his room and she fell to the floor, bruising her upper arm and both her legs in the process.

Akito slammed the door shut behind him as he entered the room and kicked Kita who was still lying on the floor. She yelped in pain.

"What made you _think_ you could go to a party?" Akito asked rhetorically. Kita whimpered pathetically as he kicked her again. It felt like a long time since he had last hurt her like this but the pains felt the same. The distinctly remembered vertigo returned and Kita started to wish she was a drinker so she wouldn't have to be burdened with remembering this experience. She tucked her knees in towards her chest to try to weaken the ferocity of the blows but subconsciously she knew that nothing would help if he wanted to hurt her bad enough.

Akito knelt down on the floor, pulling her up into a kneeling position only to slap her to the floor again. Her shoulders were shaking but no tears were falling...yet.

He pulled her up into a kneeling position again and Kita kept her head down as low as it would go. She wanted to avoid his face more than anything, in particular his menacing glare. His bony hand slithered around her neck to wind its fingers in her glossy, purple-tinted hair. She shuddered as he drew her face towards his into an overwhelming kiss, laying down onto his futon with her on top of him. Kita let out a cry of protest. She didn't want him to do this again, taking out his anger in more than just violence.

He pushed his tongue into her mouth and she started to feel sick. Her stomach had been feeling queasy that morning and now combined with her nerves, her pseudo-illness had morphed into a volatile disease.

In what appeared to be a lucky gesture at first, Akito pulled on her hair so that her face was away from his mouth but then proceeded to shove her head downwards. She hadn't noticed but sometime during her punishment, Akito's yukata had come undone and she found herself within close proximity of a part of him that she had wanted to stay away from since the last time he had been infuriated.

She soon realized that she didn't have that option as he tugged on her hair again to pull her closer towards his body. She caught on to what he was hinting at and the thought made her already weak stomach flip. She glanced sadly up at him as if to ask if she really had to. He responded by giving her a warning tug and she sighed. Either she could do it voluntarily or he would do it for her. She chose the lesser of two evils.

She leaned forward and wrapped her mouth around him, noticing him smirking down at her as she did. She was such a good girl when she wanted to be. He let out a low groan as she moved her tongue across the tip of the shaft, knowing that was the most sensitive part. The thought of giving him pleasure after he had beaten her sickened Kita to the point where she felt faint. Don't pass out, she thought. And don't throw up either.

He coiled his long fingers though her hair so that he had an even tighter grasp. Kita shut her eyes, willing herself not to make a sound. Her head was under so much chronic abuse but she knew she had to stay quiet or else she would only anger him further.

She was not moving enough for him so Akito started to move her head up and down for her so she would get the motion. She picked up on it quickly and started to move without his force, the tension on her scalp loosening.

He moaned as he reached his climax, twisting and tugging Kita's hair roughly in his hands in a sudden convulsion that caused her to involuntarily clamp her teeth together.

Akito wailed in pain, forcing her off of him and slamming her head onto the floor. His fingers had gotten untangled from her hair in the process but not without many of them being ripped out.

Kita's eyes started to water from the pain on her scalp while Akito wobbly stood over her, strands of violet dangling from between his fingers.

He stood her up and pressed her against the back wall of the room with a nasty snarl covering his usually frighteningly calm expression.

"Do you have any idea how much that _hurt_!" He asked, his eyes burning holes through her. His face was positioned so close to her that as he talked, his lips brushed against hers. Kita couldn't breathe.

"No, I don't think you do." he said answering for her.

Kita wanted to cry. She wanted more than anything to cry a river to drown them both in but the tears still refused to fall. All she could do was look back at him and pray for the flagellation to end.

He took her bottom lip into his mouth and bit down in the exact same place he had bitten five days ago. Kita shrieked in pain, the attack hurting her even worse than it had the first time. Blood started to ooze and spurt down her chin, a few drops falling onto the floor.

Akito released his hold on her and she fell pitifully to the floor like a falling leaf at the start of winter.

"I hope you've learned something from this." he said, tying his clothes shut and exiting the room with a slam of the door.

On her frail, quivering legs, Kita stood up and pushed open the door to Akito's porch, stepping outside into the freezing rain that had just start to fall. She quietly shut the door behind her and took off running through the Sohma estate as fast as her legs would allow her to do so.

I need answers, Kita thought to herself as the raindrops coated her clothes and hair. What is really going on with him? There has to be something I don't know.

After a severe thirty seconds of sore running, she came to Hatori's house. She raced up the steps and opened his door without a knock or any thought to the fact that he may be busy.

Hatori had merely been sitting at the table drinking a late-night coffee but he instantly dropped the cup when he saw her feeble form in his doorway.

Her hair was tangled into a violet nest and was dripping wet with rain. Her clothes were wrinkled and almost equally as soaked. On her arms and legs, black, blue, and purple bruises were already starting to form and there was a flowing trail of blood going from just below her lip to halfway down her neck. She was shivering fiercely from the cold rain and could barely stand on her two feet. He didn't have to ask how she got that way.

"Tell me what you have been hiding from me." she declared weakly, slouching over, unable to hold herself up.

"Kita, you're bleeding." Hatori said, standing up to get some gauze.

"No, tell me." she said with a little more power, grabbing his wrist. "Tell me what you haven't been telling me about Akito. I have a right to know why." She said, shaking his wrist.

Kita was getting hysterical and Hatori knew that there was no way he could try to talk her down. He has to tell her regardless of how Akito will react to it.

"I'll tell you if you let me get you a bandage and a blanket." he promised, directing her over to a chair. She fell into it instantaneously, silently agreeing, and wrapped herself in her arms to try to stay warm.

Hatori returned speedily, draping a blanket over her shoulders and kneeling down in front of her to wipe up the blood.

"He takes out his anger on other people because he wasn't raised right. He never learned how to control it." Hatori told her. "I hope you know that."

Kita looked down at the ground, remembering last Monday when she had met Ren. She wasn't surprised by what Hatori said but that made her feel bad for him which she did not want right now.

When he had finished, Kita batted his hand away impatiently.

"Tell me more." she said calmly, her eyes growing big in the way of a curious juvenile.

Hatori stood up and walked over to the window. The rain was now in its pinnacle of severity, the drops fighting a losing battle with the frozen ground. Does that mean it can only get better? he wondered.

"Kita, as you know Akito is very important to the Zodiac members. We have to obey every command he gives us and do you know why that is?" he asked, knowing she had no clue. Otherwise, she wouldn't be there.

"Because he's the head of the family?" Kita offered.

"Yes and he is head of the family because he was born with a sort of curse also but a specific kind of curse."

Kita's eyes widened.

"At the time of Akito's birth it was decided that he would carry the full weight of the Zodiac curse. This makes him susceptible to frequent illnesses and also means that he is technically superior to all the cursed Zodiac members."

Kita's expression started to get a bit skeptical but somehow everything Hatori was telling her was easily believable.

Hatori turned around to look into Kita's tired green eyes.

"We are connected to him because he is our God and we live as he tells us."

Kita had never fainted before but she started to feel as if she might. She grabbed onto the edge of the table to steady herself. God. It was all making sense to her: how protective he is of the cursed ones, what Kureno said about no more 'ties,' how he doesn't want them to get married and leave him. He wants to keep his 'children' close.

"That's not all." Hatori warned. "Because of his curse, Akito is destined to die a premature death. The likelihood of him reaching the age of thirty is very slim."

Kita felt her jaw unhinge as a new wave of feeling light-headed flushed over her. He's dying? But...

"That's why he wants you around when he's sick. We don't know what will eventually kill him." he stated stoically. No matter what sort of news he delivers, he always does it completely expressionless. A true doctor as far as she was concerned.

Kita slowly let go of the table and rested both of her bruised elbows onto her knees, letting her buzzing head fall into her cold, scratched-up hands.

And for the first time, in a long time, she cried.


	17. Not What It Seems

**_Author's Note:_** _So I got NO reviews for the last chapter which makes me worry..._

_Content-wise this is the worst chapter (hence the worrying). This is essentially rock bottom. You have been warned._

_Chapter 16_ (Not What It Seems)

Saturday passed. Sunday passed. The last vacation before finals started on Monday and the day simply passed also. It was strange to Kita, after having lived there for a month, seeing Akito everyday disregarding that one day after she had moved in and suddenly he had slipped into hiding.

He didn't ask to see her but she had wanted to see him. Sure, she was terrified to see him again considering that he may not have gotten over what has come to be known as 'the party incident' but her concern outweighed her fear. With all the time to herself, she had been thinking of what Hatori said about how Akito is dying and that he doesn't know how to control his anger. Somehow that information had kept her from getting mad at him. Every time she tried to get irritated, a memory would pop into her head of him telling her he loves her or of him comforting her when she was crying after the funeral and she would get sad instead.

On Sunday, she had come close to knocking on his door but Kureno saw her and stopped her, saying that Akito hasn't wanted to see anyone and that it would be safer to just let him be. Wanting to be alone just seemed so unlike him though. He hates feeling alone. Even when he's upset, he wants other people around to yell at.

Since Kita hadn't been leaving, she hadn't felt the need to cover the bruises or scrapes, the evidence of her misbehavior. Anyone who she would see walking around the main house wouldn't be too dismayed and especially wouldn't ask questions. They already knew.

She had tried to stay occupied but usually found herself sitting around thinking about Akito and then getting mad for not being able to get him off her mind. Then, once she had reached the peak of self-enragement, she would venture out to try to find someone to talk to. It had given her a chance to catch up and discuss the matters of the Sohma house with Hatori, Haru, and Kureno but hadn't covered up the little voice in the back of her head.

Since that day, she never turned off her cell phone. Hoshiko and Raidon called often asking her when she's free to hang out and what she will be doing on her birthday but Kita hadn't really thought much about her birthday this year. It used to be that every year her dad would throw her a 'surprise' party but there would be no matter for one this year. She wasn't even going to let herself get her hopes up at the prospect of gifts. It wasn't even a birthday. It was the passing of another year in her life; no need to attach words with positive connotations to it.

Kita woke up that Tuesday with the expectation of it being another day soon to be referred to as 'passed'.

After getting dressed in the first thing she pulled out of her drawers, Kita wandered into the kitchen and opened up the refrigerator, looking for milk without allowing her mind to register her surroundings outside of the thought of 'kitchen, fridge, need milk'.

"Good afternoon Kita." a voice said from behind an open newspaper.

Kita turned around and saw Shigure sitting at the table. He lowered the paper and smiled at her.

"Good afternoon. I haven't seen you in a while." she said, taking a glass down from the cabinet and pouring milk into it.

"Well, I was just in the mood to stop by and make sure everything has been pleasant around here." He said, his jovial expression not faltering for even a second.

Kita took a seat next to him and he put down the newspaper and lowered his reading glasses, his smile dropping to a sorrowful frown as his eyes fell from the scab under her lip to the bruises on her arms. Kita saw that he had noticed and tugged on the sleeves of her lime green t-shirt uncomfortably trying to hide the marks of Akito's rage.

"Yeah." she said, not really sure what she was agreeing to.

Shigure leaned into her, looking surprisingly serious.

"Are _you_ okay?" he asked, expecting either an outright lie or a sugar-coated version of the truth.

"You'd sooner be at Akito's funeral than mine." she replied gravely as she took a sip from her glass.

Shigure was a little surprised by the comment at first thinking she meant she would sooner kill him than he kill her but then realized what she was really referring to.

"Oh, so you know about that now..."

"Yes. I asked Hatori." she said before he could get on to asking her about it.

Shigure nodded. He wanted to know where she got the bruises, well, actually why. He knew where. He wanted to ask her how she felt about Akito's inevitable demise. He wanted to ask her how she felt about Akito in general but she didn't seem to want to talk about any of that now.

The two sat quietly, Kita drinking her milk and Shigure studying Kita's face. He had never really looked at her features for such a long duration of time. Usually they were too busy talking for him to notice or he was looking somewhere else on her.

"Has anyone ever told you that you're pretty?" he asked her casually.

"Um, well, other than my parents, only Akito. I met Ren a little while ago and she said I was 'pretty but nowhere near gorgeous' but I don't really count that one either." she mumbled, wondering what he was getting at.

Shigure lifted an eyebrow. "Oh-kay." he said slowly. "Well, I think you're pretty." he said, smiling at her as he leaned closer to her and took her chin into his hand reminding her of when Akito did that after she had seen him after all those years. He pulled her face so far towards him that Kita had to rest her hand on something to keep from falling forward. Since his leg was the only thing close that would provide the stability she needed, she put her hand there, hoping he wouldn't think of it as a come-hither sort of move.

"You think all high school girls are pretty." Kita replied, trying to shrug off the compliment. The conversation was slipping into awkward territory that she really wanted to get away from.

"Just because that's true doesn't mean you aren't." Shigure said with a grin. She was making Shigure's efforts to cheer her up harder to do. "And you only have a month left of being a high school girl anyway," he added.

He tilted her face up a bit like he was analyzing her.

"You're a unique kind of pretty. You have those yellow-green eyes just like your mother's and that crazy hair like your father but a little coy smile that's all your own."

Kita's lips turned up a bit at the mention of her parents.

"See that's it!" Shigure said laughing. "It's a good thing I'm not actually attracted to you. Akito would have my head on a platter if I had feelings for you. I can just appreciate a pretty girl."

Kita internally let out a sigh of relief. It seemed like he might have been hitting on her for a second there. She was starting to get afraid of him making a move on her. She didn't like Shigure that way.

Suddenly, his laughter was cut off as he quickly let go of her chin and leaned as far away from her as he could. Confused by his drastic change in attitude, Kita looked to her left and saw Akito standing in the doorway, his expression both horrified and confounded at the same time. He looked like he had been dead for the past few years. His skin was so white Kita could practically see the blood flowing through his veins and he clearly hadn't been eating anything as his thin, fragile figure seemed to be in an even more critical state than it had been.

Dead. The very word caused Kita's blood to run cold as ice.

It must have looked like Shigure and I...oh no, she thought, wishing she could say something or, at the very least, move.

With an abnormally calm stride, Akito approached Shigure who held a fairly stoic expression. Akito gritted his teeth and clenched his fist tightly, hitting him directly in the eye with enough force to send him up against the wall. Shigure's head flew backwards but he stayed seated and throughout the attack, he said nothing.

Akito firmly grabbed Kita's arm and dragged her into his room, throwing her onto the ground.

"You've got some nerve Kita. Sleeping around behind my back." he said, leering over her and grabbing a fistful of hair in his hand. Her hair seemed longer to him now. Darker too. In fact, with the lack of light in the room it almost looked like Ren's hair. The thought made Akito sick.

"I didn't!" she practically yelled. "I haven't done anything!"

"Liar!" Akito accused, letting go of the purple tresses and kicking her.

He knelt down on the floor next to her and practically whispering in her ear, he added, "Everyone knows you're a liar, Kita."

"I'm telling the truth now." she said, her throat closing and the pressure in her eyes growing to obscene amounts. "And I've never lied to _you_."

Akito laughed dryly. "How stupid do you think I am?" he asked, rolling her onto her back. He swung his leg over hers, straddling her and pinning her hands down by her sides, careful to keep the sleeves of his yukata over his wrists.

"I've never lied to you and I haven't had sex with anyone. I swear." she said, her voice becoming childish with fear.

Akito scowled and moved up on her body, not believing a word coming out of her mouth. Lying was second nature to her, why would she suddenly decide to be truthful?

He placed her hands together above her head so he could hold both of them in one hand. He then forcefully pushed her skirt up and slid her underwear down her legs. Kita kicked and shouted in protest but her mouth was soon covered by his other hand.

"I'll bet you didn't fight like this for Shigure." he hissed wildly into her ear. "So how many were there anyway? That Raidon boy too? I saw you bring him inside the gates."

Kita's eyes broadened. I never told him about that, she thought. I had forgotten all about it. I can't believe he knew. What's the punishment for someone who brings an outsider inside the gates, even if it's only for a minute?

"You're so disobedient, Kita." he said as he started to undo his robes, answering Kita's nonverbal question. She closed her eyes, trying desperately to be that girl in the audience watching the show but she couldn't remove herself from what was happening. Akito brought out the only emotions she had left and they kept her from getting detached from the reality of life no matter how badly she wanted to get away.

Akito pushed himself into her mercilessly, a cry of agony rippling from her covered mouth.

"Oh, does that _hurt_?" he asked with feigned sympathy. "Did it hurt with that _dog_ too?"

"I wouldn't know! I've never done this before!" she said loud enough for him to hear even with her voice muffled by his hand. This wasn't how she had pictured this happening. She was hoping it would be with someone she loved. For Akito she felt: fear of his power, sorrow for his fate, and, truthfully, heartfelt caring for that person he was beyond the tempestuous person he is, beyond the person sitting on her now. Whether or not there was any love there still remained unknown to everyone including herself.

Akito leaned forward as he pushed deeper, causing her to whimper in pain. He bit at her neck and jaw, an act she usually welcomed, but now it felt like ruthless torture. Bites not deep enough to draw blood but enough for it to intensify the hurt she was already in. Her cries were like an abandoned puppy as her fragile voice whined for him to stop.

Her innocent act was starting to really bother him. When she acted like that, it was harder for him to think of her sins and he could feel guilt creeping up on him. But then the thought of her with those other men made its way to the front of his mind, causing him to push harder into her, trying to expel the thoughts from his head and instead revel in his rapture.

When he finished, he didn't do her the courtesy of fixing her skirt or her underwear. He simply stood over her, declaring possessively, "You're mine and don't forget that again," and left the room with a bang of the door hitting its frame.

Kita calmly pulled up her underwear, trying to ignore the aching between her legs, and smoothed down her skirt. Her footsteps as petty as those of a fly crawling up a wall, she walked back to her room and fell onto the bed.

"Let me sleep away the rest of my life," she said to the ghosts of her room. "Did I want to feel again this badly?" she wondered out loud. "Is pain better than nothing?"


	18. Pain Pills, Vitamins, And Birth Control

_**Author's Note:** Feeling better?_

_Chapter 17_ (A Balanced Diet of Pain Pills, Vitamins, and Birth Control)

Kita groggily opened her eyes. Her face was mashed against the smooth cotton of her light blue pillowcase with her hair spread out around the perimeter. I don't want to get up, she thought. I don't ever want to get up again. I'll live out the rest of my life from this bed.

Without leaving the comfort of lying between her sheets, she opened up the drawer to her white nightstand and extracted a small medicine bottle. She had taken the bottle of pills for various body aches out of the bathroom a few weeks ago when her chronic muscle pains were getting particularly bad and she had decided to keep the pills in her nightstand in case she ever woke up hurting in the middle of the night.

She carefully shook out two oval-shaped white pills into her palm, closed the container, and shoved it into the back of her drawer. Then she reached into the bottom shelf part of the nightstand to grab her water bottle. As her fingers wrapped around the thin plastic bottle she realized that the servants had forgotten to refill and freeze it last night as the bottle felt warm, not icy like it should.

In the process, she had knocked over a small medicine measuring cup that had been placed next to the bottle. She reached back down and saw that the cup had been holding her daily vitamin. She wasn't sure who had suggested that she needed to start taking them but she had a feeling it was Kureno. He probably thought that since she barely eats, let alone barely eats anything nutritious, that she would need a pill to make sure she gets all her necessary vitamins and minerals.

Not really caring that the water was stale, she took a swig of the liquid and chocked both medicine pills down in one gulp. The water tasted like tree sap but nonetheless she took another large gulp to get the vitamin down. The different drugs slid down her throat towards her stomach, making her feel sick and reminding her that you technically aren't supposed to take pills on an empty stomach.

Kita reached across her nightstand to try to find her clock even though she was pretty sure it was sometime in the afternoon. Along the way, her hand brushed against a foreign container that was mingling amongst her foundation bottle and the blue mosaic vase of tiger lilies. She picked up the container, recognizing it as a prescription bottle and brought it closer to her face. Birth control pills prescribed for Sohma Kita by Sohma Hatori.

Great, Hatori knows, she thought swallowing down one of those pills too. She could imagine Akito asking Hatori to get birth control pills for her, a satisfied smirk on his face as he asks. She hid her face in her pillow and groaned, her now empty water bottle getting lost under the covers.

The silent room filled with the sound of the doorframe creaking. Kita rolled her head over to face the door and saw Akito leaning against the frame watching her. She turned her whole body away from him to show her disgust in hopes that he would go away. She was actually expecting him to slip back into hiding after what happened yesterday. Instead, his loud footsteps echoed through the room as he walked over to the foot of her bed. He laid down on it horizontally so that he would have been on top of her feet if she wasn't curled into a fetal position. He held his head up in one of his hands so he could look at Kita's face as he talked to her.

If I were to kick him, he would fall right over the edge, she thought angrily. He'd probably break something, his hip or his neck. The thought overwhelmed her with guilt. He's dying, she thought, and I'm thinking of kicking him. Not only have I stooped down to his level but I'm also completely unsympathetic to someone who can't handle his anger and will be cold in his grave before reaching thirty.

"I heard something interesting from Kureno yesterday." Akito said, apparently expecting her to ask what. Kita didn't ask. She didn't want to know. She wanted him to go away so she could be alone to wallow in self-pity.

"He told me that he overheard your conversation with Shigure and that he had said he doesn't have feelings for you." Akito said, ignoring the fact that she didn't ask. "And he told me that you dated that Raidon boy three years ago but you didn't have any romantic feelings for him and you're just friends."

"I told you the truth." Kita muttered. "I never lied to you."

Akito shifted his position so that he was sitting up and he moved next to her on the bed.

"I guess...you didn't deserve the punishment I gave you." he said, having a hard time getting the words out. It was the closest thing to an apology that he had ever said and Kita was aware of that.

Akito laid down next to her, sliding underneath the sheets and accidentally hitting her water bottle. He held up the bottle to her.

"What's this for?" he asked, remembering when he had seen the bottle on the bottom shelf of her nightstand when he had 'tried to find out more about her.'

She took the bottle out of his hands and ran her index finger over the place where the label used to be before she ripped it off out of boredom one day. "It's one of the only things that's keeping me alive." she said glumly as she put the bottle back on the nightstand shelf. Sadly, I think one of the other things may be you, she thought to herself.

Akito wrapped his arms around her waist and placed a gentle kiss on her nose as if he was trying to tell her everything was okay now. She had a hard time believing him.

"I only did it because I love you so much that I couldn't bare the thought of you being with other men in a way you haven't been with me." he whispered. "I want you all to myself."

Kita stayed quiet. She didn't know what to think, let alone what to say. He was always confusing her. First assuming the worst of her and punishing her violently and then saying that he loves her and would do anything for her. It was New Year's all over again only on a much greater scale.

Akito drifted off to sleep beside her, looking as innocent as a newborn child. Kita couldn't look at him like that so she turned away and uncontrollably began to cry softly, the sound almost completely muffled by her pillow.


	19. Pretty, Little Cuts

**_Author's Note:_** _Content warning. And this is where things get better._

_Chapter 18_ (Pretty, Little Cuts)

Kita wandered back to her room, preparing herself for another evening of trying to forget and lose herself in a book, a movie, or a song. She had just finished a very late dinner, if the tiny scrapes of noodles she consumed could even be classified as a meal, and she was ready to get back to cloistering herself from everyone as she had done the day before and the day before that, after Akito had finally woken up and left because he had business to attend to.

She shuffled into the room, her bare feet sliding on the front of her purple yukata, the one Akito had given to her. She had barely managed getting dressed that afternoon and she certainly wasn't in the mood to dress like she was going somewhere because it wasn't like she _could_ go anywhere so she had just haphazardly thrown on the yukata and began another day of misery.

Just as she was about to shut the door, Kureno appeared in front of her and held his hand in front of the door to keep it from closing.

"Akito wants to see you." he told her, seeming a bit tired. It was late after all and he always gets up so darn early.

Kita nodded. She knew it was only a matter of time before he would ask to see her again. She was actually expecting him to call for her yesterday or the night before that but maybe he just wanted to give her some time to think things over. But that didn't sound very much like something he would do...

Kita walked slowly out into the hallway and up to his door, her head down the entire time. What does he want from me now? She wondered melancholily as she stood in front of the door. What more could he possibly want? He has everything, doesn't he? Except a loving mother...well, and total compliance from all the Zodiac members...and sometimes he must feel like he doesn't even have me. Kita's eyes broadened at the revelation. He really is alone, she thought, now determined to see him. He must want someone to be with him.

Kita slid open the door and blindly walked into the dark room, a glowing full moon visible through the large window above. The sitting room looked fairly normal from the table and cushions in the corner to the futon now rolled out on the other side of the room. In the center of the room, the heater was running on max making gargling sounds as the warmth diffused through the space. Everything was as it should be, except that Akito wasn't there.

She heard another door open but her eyes remained unadjusted to the darkness of the room so she could not tell which door had been opened. Suddenly, she felt two cold hands sliding around the small bones of her pelvis as her body was brought back a little to rest against his familiar gaunt frame.

"Kita, I've missed you." he whispered into her ear as his hands trailed up to her waist, which had become almost sickeningly lean since she had first come to live there.

Kita commanded herself to not allow him to manipulate her. I can't forgive him, she told herself. Just keeping believing that he doesn't love you. Imagine him beating you or imagine what happened three days ago, just please don't think about him comforting you and especially not about him loving you.

He carefully turned her body to face him and, taking her cheek into his long hand, he placed a gentle kiss on her lips, warming her insides and causing her mind to be freed from the thoughts she was using to weigh herself down. He was hard to resist when he acted so lovingly. It was a curse.

Akito broke the kiss and rested his chin on her shoulder, tracing the shell of her ear with his tongue. "The first time got messed up so here's our chance to make up for it," he mused as he ran his fingers down her back. With another soft whisper, his hot, lustful breath against her ear, he murmured, "I love you, Kita."

Sharply interrupting the moment, the door behind Kita opened and as light poured in from the hallway Kita was able to make out Hatori standing there, still decked out in his lab coat and looking like he had gone through a rough day. Akito sighed angrily as he lifted his chin off her shoulder and turned towards him.

"Why are you here?" he asked, not exactly rudely but certainly not welcoming. It was way too late for visitors, especially when they disrupt.

Hatori walked into the room and took a seat at the table as he spoke.

"I have to discuss something with Kita. It's sort of a private subject." he said, folding his legs and making himself comfortable on the cushion.

Akito didn't like that answer.

"What private matter could you have to discuss with her that I couldn't hear too?" he asked as he slowly approached the table, shoulders in their usual hunched manner.

"I was going to inform her of the potential negative side-effects of those pills I prescribed, just in case she ends up having a reaction to them." he said, professionally.

Akito sneered down at Hatori, feeling particularly in power at that moment because usually he had to look up at him.

"Well, if that's all then I'll just stay." he said, sitting down across the table from him. "Unless you have any objections, Kita." he said, glancing over at her pointedly.

Kita shook her head.

"Good." Akito said, smiling mischievously. He wasn't prepared to let this minor intermission put his intentions on pause. He patted the cushion next to him as if to tell her to sit down and, of course, she did, taking extra steps to ensure that her yukata would stay closed as she sat.

"Proceed." Akito said to Hatori as he discreetly placed his hand on Kita's knee.

"As you may have already heard, those pills were legalized only a few years ago because of the fear of the complications they could cause but at your age there is an extremely slim chance of any of them affecting you." Hatori explained.

Kita nodded, having already done research on them for a school assignment a few years ago but she didn't want to mention that. She knew that whatever she said, he's her doctor and he has to give the speech to her. She just didn't have to listen.

Akito, getting bored with Hatori's lecture, decided to keep himself entertained by sneakily slipping his hand under Kita's yukata and running it up her bare thigh. Kita momentarily stiffened her back in surprise. Intrigued by her response, he moved his hand up a little higher so that it made contact with the outer folds of her labia causing Kita to involuntarily jerk forward, bumping into the table during her spasm.

"Kita, are you alright?" Hatori asked, confused.

Kita bit down on the insides of her cheeks and gripped the edge of the table as Akito began to gently rub her clitoris, a wide smirk extending across his face as he did. Kita wanted to stand up or swat his hand away but he had control over her and she found that she could barely move.

"Y-yes, I'm f-fine." she stuttered, trying to keep her facial expression stoic. "Just f-f-finish with the list of p-problems p-p-please." She could feel the fiery damp heat creeping up her cheeks mirrored in another part of her body that Akito was now very acquitted with.

As Hatori went on, Akito continued his shameless display of dominance over Kita, moving his hand in such a way that she could barely keep quiet and he knew it. The thought of the command he had over her almost simulated the satisfaction of her touching him in the way he was doing to her. It was an exhilarating feeling he had no intention of giving up until they had both reached their ends.

"...so if you have any problems make sure you call me right away." Hatori finished. Kita almost gave a sigh of relief that he was leaving.

"Don't worry Hatori." Akito said, that lewd smile still plastered on his face. "I'll make sure she's okay." He pulled his hand away from her and Kita let out a long breath she had been holding practically the entire time.

Hatori gave a slight nod, a tad disbelievingly and left the room.

Once the door was shut, Kita stood up and walked over to the window to look up at the bright moon above. She wasn't sure what she wanted to happen. A part of her was saying, you should cry and run back to your room to get away from Akito, who doesn't really love you outside of your physical appearance and your fear, and force him to leave you alone for a few more days so you can think things over more. The other part of her was saying, if he wants to make up for what he has done, let him. He loves you and wants you and don't you want him too? I don't know.

Akito walked up behind her again, his hands placed on her waist and his smooth voice asking, "What's wrong, Kita? I know you want this too. You can't tell me you didn't forget your underwear on purpose."

Kita flushed crimson. The truth was, she had been getting absent-minded in the past few days and she didn't have time to put any on when Kureno told her to go see him but she knew if she told him that, he wouldn't believe her.

Slowly, his right hand began to move up towards her chest. Kita closed her eyes but this time it wasn't out of torturous apprehension, but out of thrilled anticipation. The hand slithered under the robes of her yukata and cupped her breast, teasingly stroking the sensitive nipple. Kita leaned her head back against his collarbone, the sensation proving itself to be difficult to escape.

"Stop..." she asked hoarsely, the word drawn out to imply that she wanted everything but for him to stop.

Akito's salacious smirk returned. "You don't want me to stop." he told her, reveling in his new sense of potency. "I felt how wet you are just minutes ago."

Kita tried to be shocked but decided that she deserved the remark. The question returned to her mind: you want him, don't you?

His hand that was not lost underneath her clothing went to work at loosening her belt so that the fabric warmed by their body heat started to fall away from her, uncovering her body to the colder temperature of the room. He turned her towards him and leisurely slipped the material off her shoulders so that it clung low on her hips, exposing her top half to him. Greedily, he bent forward and took one of the hardened nubs into his mouth, sucking gingerly and running his tongue around the circumference of the areola before flicking it across the tip. Meanwhile, his fingers went to work at sliding the rest of her robes off her legs so that they pooled around her feet, his hands caressing her backside and her thighs as the garments were removed.

Kita ran her fingers through his dark, silky hair as shivers were sent down her spine. She was trying to hide how naked she felt and how nervous she was but he could still sense her inner turmoil. That other voice had made an appearance in her mind, telling her that she can still get out of it; she could still run away. But she didn't want to run away and not just because of the fear of a punishment for leaving...

Akito made his way back up to her lips, first stopping to kiss her collarbone and the base of her neck, a part of her that she was always cautious about letting people touch. He slid his tongue into her mouth and she eagerly entwined it with her own. The kissing she could do, it was everything else she was worried about. Does he really love me?

Akito moaned into her mouth and pulled her closer to him, his hands outlining the feminine curves of her body. She could feel his desire for her pressed hard against her inner thigh. She winced slightly but only out of shock, not revulsion. She knew it would happen, she just hadn't mentally prepared herself because her mind was racing with its debate, the only conclusion being that she could never be the girl watching from the corner again while he was with her.

He pushed her onto the spongy futon, his hands slamming down on either side of her head. Although he did not break the kiss as his hand flew to the surface of the mattress, she caught a glimpse of something on his wrist. It looked like some sort of slit in his flesh, kind of like the scratch he had given her the day before her father's funeral only his was more prominent and bloodier.

Kita turned her face towards his arm, trying to get his mouth away from hers so she could look at the curious injury. He moved but looked down at her annoyed, not understanding her motives.

Come to think of it, he's never fully taken off his clothes in my presence, Kita thought as she reached for the bottom of his sleeve. He always wears long sleeves. Is it to hide something?

She cautiously lifted up the fabric covering his arm and stared in disbelieve at what he had been concealing. His wrist was completely decorated in cuts: all different cuts spanning the very short to ones that went more than halfway around his arm and from the minor to deep, dark red ones, like a piece of gothic artwork. The most visible cuts looked very recent as if he had gotten them sometime in the past two days. Underneath them laid more healed cuts that were probably produced a week ago as they were a faded reddish-pink shade but still not completely diminished. Mingling among the colored scabs were their future counterparts: white scars, the remains of cuts that could have happened years ago but that had decided to leave their mark regardless. The common thread between all the slashes was that they were all undeniably self-produced.

Hatori's voice entered her mind, telling her that he can't control his anger. He has always been angry: his curse, his parents, his expectations, all contributing to an ongoing rage. When no one is around to beat, he must take it out on himself, she thought wondering if the more current cuts were because of her. Was she contributing to his rage? Or was he angry with himself over what he did to her?

Kita looked up at him, feeling the tears start to form pools at the bottom of her eyes, tainting her lashes with saline, her saddened face asking, are those cuts for me?

Akito gave her a look that was almost ashamed as he looked away from her for a second to regain his emotionless expression again. Did she have to ask?

A few tears began to stream down Kita's face. I am both his relief and another hideous act to bring out his darkness. I am his sweet misery. I doubted whether or not he loved me but this is the proof I wanted carved out for me, spelled out in a way only fitting of him, she thought, her heart tearing itself down the middle.

Kita leaned over and kissed the various cuts as if she was willing her lips to heal them, to take away his pain. She choked back the urge to cry and hug him and tell him about how she knows about his short life expectancy but instead riveted her attention back to this night that was supposed to make up for what happened.

Kita glided her hand around to the back of his head and pushed his face down to hers, kissing him open-mouthed, passionately, nearly aggressively, a way she had only done once before. Akito grinned and untied his own yukata, speedily getting undressed and tossing his robes aside so that they landed in a pile with Kita's. His hands easily made their way up between her thighs, gently spreading them apart. Kita held her breath nervously as he gradually eased himself into her, his charcoal eyes gleaming under the luminosity of the full moon. She gasped as a jolt of pleasure shot through her, proving this time to be nothing like last time. Akito smirked again as he thrust into her, causing her to arch her back up off the mattress.

"Akito..." she moaned rapturously. He drove into her again with more force, demanding another cry, another pant, another sound to show him that, at least when she was with him, she was no longer the tormented little waif who balanced numbness with tears. She delivered to his plea somehow still possessing a certain quality of innocence in spite of her change in behavior. He found there to be something so heavenly about the way she moaned for him, like an angel calling God.

Coming close to his release, he gripped her hips, pulling her up towards him and attacking her mouth with more vicious kisses. She zealously pressed her body against his as she came, the shuddering tremors of her orgasm causing her to clench him tighter, stimulating him to completion before he collapsed onto her slick with sweat.

They laid joined for several minutes, allowing time to regain their regular breathing patterns and slow their rapid heartbeats. He eventually pulled out but continued to lie on her, kissing her neck adoringly, a cunning smile spread across his face.

Once he rolled to her side and wrapped her in his slender arms, Kita noticed something on the floor next to the futon, two stains of blood. She reached out and ran her finger over the drops knowing they were hers from a week ago after she had come home from the party at Hoshi's boyfriend's house. The same man who caused these stains also loves me so much that he cuts himself as punishment for hurting me, she thought sadly. What a place I've found myself in.

Down the hall the ring of a large clock chimed through the main house signifying that it was now officially midnight. Akito nuzzled her neck, still on a complete high from her, as he whispered affectionately into her ear.

"Happy birthday Kita."


	20. Six Degrees Of Celebration

**_Author's Note:_** _Long chapter. I have nothing more profound to say._

_Chapter 19_ (Six Degrees of Celebration)

Kita lazily awoke to the sound of birds chirping just outside the doors of the main house. A bird feeder was dangling from the roof of the building right in front of the large, glass window and Kita could see three sparrows hungrily drinking up the liquid held inside. There had been a fairly light snowstorm last night so the birds were having a hard time finding food but were thankful to have stumbled upon this gem of a feeder. The three birds looked like they had strategically traveled together so that if one were to find food, the other two could also eat. It reminded Kita of Hoshiko and Raidon. It was her birthday so was she allowed to see them?

Kita looked next to her and saw Akito sleeping soundlessly with his body turned in towards her. The covers were pulled up to his shoulders to keep him warm in the chill of the night so she couldn't see his chest and she started to worry. She edged closer to him and ran her hand over his projecting ribcage and down to just above his bellybutton. He was breathing.

Relieved with that knowledge, Kita rolled off the futon and stood up, stretching her arms high above her head as she walked slowly up to the window, trying not to scare away the birds. They looked so free, happy and yet, Kita found that she didn't really envy them. Sure, she hadn't been blessed with total freedom but she had protection and love and there was nothing saying she couldn't get freedom eventually. As for happiness, she had a feeling things might start to turn around.

As Kita watched the birds suck the feeder dry, Akito quietly woke up, his eyelids lifting up only halfway to protect his sensitive eyes from the garish light. His reaction softened when he noticed Kita standing in front of it, dulling the glare. The sunlight pouring in through the window made an outline of white light around her naked body, making Akito smile a bit, remembering how he thought her to be like an angel yesterday. His eyes followed the outline from her graceful shoulders, over the curve of her breasts, into her now slim waist, and back out over her hips. She was beautiful to him and she belonged to him.

He wanted to go over to her, kiss her, and lead her back down onto the futon for a repeat performance of last night, but he was still half-asleep and couldn't bring himself to get up no matter how enticing the thought was.

The three birds flew away from the now empty feeder and Kita sighed, deciding to go get a glass of milk. Her bones ached so she came to the conclusion that she needed calcium and lots of it. Akito closed his eyes, pretending to still be asleep while Kita went over to the futon and kissed him sweetly. He looked so benign, so beautiful while he slept. She then walked over to her clothes which were rumpled from sitting in a pile on the floor all night and started changing into them as she walked to the door, pretty confident in the fact that no one would see her once she left the room.

She slid open the door, still trying to properly adjust her yukata when Kureno suddenly appeared in front of her in that strange, clandestine way of his.

"Oh, Kureno! You scared me." Kita said, trying to smooth out her robes and hide the evidence of last night. She briefly wondered if he got paid a little extra for his surreptitious behavior.

"I'm sorry." he said. "I was just going to see if Akito was awake yet."

"He's not," Kita said, her face turning red, a telltale sign that she had spent the night with him. Kureno half-smiled at her. He wasn't sure yet how she felt about what allegedly happened last night between her and Akito so he figured a half-smile was a safe enough response whether it was out of pity or happiness for her.

"Happy birthday, by the way." he said, cheerfully.

Kita smiled starting to really feel like a rival to the sunshine through the large window and gave him a hug, pleased that she could.

"Thank you, Kureno." she said beaming up at him. "I appreciate that." It's not my first happy birthday though, she thought with an internal grin.

He was a little surprised by her sudden change in attitude. No more mopping around feeling numb. It must just be because it's her birthday, he thought. Unless... He looked at Akito's door. Maybe they've finally gotten through to each other. They're so good together. She could care for him and listen to him when he needs her and he could help her to feel again and experience the short-lived pleasures of life. Whatever the cause, it's nice to see her smile.

"It's nothing." he said, shaking his head. "I'm just sorry I didn't get you anything."

Kita laughed gently. "Don't be. I wasn't expecting presents anyway. I'm just so...content right now. I haven't felt like this since before my father died."

The two started to walk down the hallway towards the kitchen, the mood only slightly shadowed by Kita's mention of her father. In an effort to keep her in a good mood, Kureno changed the topic, a technique he used on Akito often.

"So Kita, you'll probably have a lot of visitors today." he said, taking a seat at the table once they entered the kitchen. The sunlight appeared to be shining everywhere as it lit up the room, reflecting off the fresh snow to make it even brighter.

"Hopefully." Kita said, sounding like she wasn't trying to get to hopeful. "I just wish I could see Hoshiko and Raidon. I always used to have a party with them every year." she said gloomily as she poured her milk and sat down next to Kureno, this time not afraid of Akito walking in to see her with a guy in a compromising position. Not that sitting next to each other was in any way scandalous.

"Well, I'm sure there's some way for you to see them. Maybe later you can talk to Akito about it." he said, trying to boost her spirits since the topic change backfired. He knew the odds weren't in her favor but if something good did happen last night, he might be more lenient about her liberties.

"I hope so." Kita said monotonously, finishing her milk in only two gulps and reaching for the carton again. "Oh, by the way, make sure you get one of the servants to refill the bird feeder above Akito's porch. I don't want them to starve."

----------------------------------

"Rai, come on. We've tried everything. There's no way we're getting in." Hoshiko said. She lost her patience two minutes ago after Raidon had unsuccessfully attempted to climb the barricade that separated the Sohma estate from the rest of the world but she was now in full rant mode. Another cold breeze blew past them and she shivered, sure her knees were going to get frostbite if they stood around aimlessly outside much longer. She pulled her long, cream-colored coat around her a little tighter and sighed for the tenth time that day. "We could try calling her cell phone again and then just give her presents to her on Monday at school when vacation's over."

Raidon gave her an annoyed look. He was growing tired of Hoshi's complaining and the cold was starting to play on his nerves as well. He kicked at the snow-covered ground with a combat boot clad foot and let out an agitated breath. "Are you kidding? Every year we spend our birthdays together for at least a little while. Remember that year when Kita ran all the way to your house when she was nauseous and her calves were in pain just to see you on your sixteenth birthday? This is her eighteenth birthday. It's a big deal to her...or at least it was."

Hoshiko looked down at her red high-heeled boots, ashamed. Yes, it was true she owed her but there was no way inside. When Rai had said it would be extremely difficult to get into Kita's new residence, he wasn't exaggerating.

"Hey someone! Let us in!" Hoshiko shouted loudly, pounding her fists against the door. Raidon shook his head, his spiky hair getting even messier than it was before.

"They aren't supposed to allow strangers in." he said, remembering how cautious Kita was about letting him go inside that time he had walked there with her after school.

"We're not strangers." she said, acting offended and putting her hands on her hips. "We are friends and we deserve to be let in!"

Hoshi stopped her ranting when the door to the estate unexpectedly opened and Hatsuharu walked out, looking around as if he was trying to find out who was yelling.

"Oh, hello, Raidon." he said, bowing once he noticed the older boy. "I was just taking a walk around Sohma house when I heard someone. Have you come to see Kita?"

"Yes, we'd like to but we aren't allowed in, are we?" he asked. He curiously looked over at Hoshiko because usually she can't stay quiet for more than a few seconds. She was standing very still but was grinning in a way he had seen before. Her honey eyes were inspecting Haru from his white and black hair to his leather chaps, in a very intrigued and altogether lustful way.

"This is Hoshiko." Raidon said, figuring it was the polite thing to do and that Hoshi would be mad if he didn't introduce them.

"It's a pleasure to meet you." Haru said, bowing to her. "My name is Hatsuharu."

Hoshiko bowed back, accidentally permitting him to see down her shirt. "It's a pleasure to meet you too and you can call me Hoshi. I _insist_." she added with a sly smile.

Raidon leaned into her ear. "Don't you have a boyfriend?" he asked quietly so Haru couldn't hear.

"We broke up two days ago." she said, through the side of her mouth.

"As for your dilemma, I could sneak you in." Haru offered as he started walking back towards the door. "You probably couldn't stay long but at least you could see her. Isn't it her birthday?"

The two nodded, practically perfectly in sync.

"I'll wish her a happy birthday later." he said more so to himself than to them. "Follow me and stay low to the ground." he advised. "If they see you, there are a lot of things that could happen and none of them are good."

Hoshi and Raidon exchanged worried glances but walked right behind Hatsuharu regardless, copying his motions to avoid being seen. They quickly ducked behind a sculpture and huddled together as someone came walking up the path and then they took off again.

Disregarding the fact that the person might notice them if they make noise, Hoshi starting chatting away. "So Hatsuharu, since you're a Sohma are you Kita's cousin?" she asked, pretending to not notice how close together they were even though their hips were practically touching as they hid.

"No. Just a friend. Kita doesn't have any cousins. And you can call me Haru." he said, searching for a clear path to the next hiding spot as they crouched down behind someone's house.

Raidon rolled his eyes. "You knew that Hoshi. Kita doesn't have any aunts or uncles so how would she have cousins?"

Hoshi glared at him for making her look stupid. "I forgot." she said harshly before turning her attention back to Haru. "So what year of school are you in, Haru?"

"I'm a first year." he said, as he waved them across the path to hide behind another house.

"You know, you remind me of someone." he told her matter-of-factly once they were out of view.

"Who?" she asked, grabbing his arm like she was afraid of losing him as he started running again.

"My ex-girlfriend." he said casually. The similarities between Rin and Hoshi were hard to deny. They both had black hair and bangs although Hoshi's hair was shorter, they dressed alike with their short skirts, heeled shoes, and little shirts, and they both even possessed a quality of strength and stubbornness. "Well, she's not really an ex.." he added.

Hoshi's sly grin faded into a frown. Raidon chuckled and she elbowed him hard in the rib, subtly cursing under her breath. She was quiet the rest of the way to the main house.

-------------------------------------

After Kureno said he had to start going about his daily duties, Kita retired to her room, tired from yesterday's events. She was up until all hours of the morning trying to fall asleep but after such an experience, sleep didn't come easily.

She had just sat down on the edge of her bed when she heard a knock on her door. Kita raised her eyebrows. No one knocks in this house.

"Um, who is it?" Kita called out, bewildered.

A deep, raspy voice replied back. "Guess."

"Shigure?" she asked even though it didn't really sound like anyone she knew. It just seemed like Shigure would be the most likely to put on a fake voice and make her guess who's at the door.

"No. Guess again." The voice said. The comment was followed by girlish giggling. A girl?

"Just come in." Kita said, truly not caring anymore.

The door burst open and Hoshi ran in and gave Kita a big hug shouting, "It's me!" Raidon walked in behind her, with a look of disapproval.

"Shhh...Hoshi, someone could hear you." he said whispering.

"Oh right. Sorry." she replied back, mimicking his tone. "Wow Kita, that's a really pretty yukata." she said, touching the smooth cotton of the sleeve.

"How did you guys get here?" Kita asked, ignoring Hoshi's comment and practically overjoyed by the surprise, a nervous grin plastered on her face.

"Haru showed us." she said suggestively. "Damn, he's hot. Why do all the hot ones have girlfriends?" she asked, pouting.

"I think you just answered your own question." Kita said with a laugh.

"I hate to interrupt girl-talk hour but we have some presents for you." Raidon said, sliding between them and holding out a box to Kita. He seemed a little paranoid that they'd get caught but he was right to be afraid.

She took the box, finding that it was a lot heavier than it looked, and ripped off the shiny blue wrapping paper. She lifted the lid off the box and peered inside to see a CD and two bottles of sake. She took out the CD first. The cover had an artistic drawing of a city with people draped randomly over benches and leaning against walls except it looked like all the colors were inverted from what they naturally should be. She glanced at Raidon curiously.

"Trust me. You'll love it." he told her confidently.

She smiled, knowing he was probably right, and picked up the bottles of sake with a questioning look. Rai turned eighteen a couple months ago so there was no question as to how he got it but why?

"Hey, you're eighteen now and I figured that if you were going to have a party without us, it may as well have everything. I was going to put in a cake and balloons but they wouldn't fit. It's the good stuff. Don't worry." he said, them both sharing a moment of remembrance of the party last week and that battery acid passed off as a beverage.

"Thank you, Rai." Kita said, giving him a friendly hug.

"Now mine!" Hoshi said, handing Kita a small white shopping bag with colorful ribbons around the handle. Hoshi wasn't exactly skilled in the art of wrapping presents.

Kita opened up the bag and sifted through layers of opaque tissue paper before finding a red, leather halter top, something Kita would admire but never have the guts to wear. She glanced at Hoshi for an explanation like she did with Raidon.

"I know you're all timid and everything but I saw it and I had to. It will look so good on you. Trust me. Who knows? Maybe some hot guy will take notice." she said, nudging Kita in the ribs.

Kita smiled awkwardly, reminded that they don't know about Akito.

"Thank you, Hoshi. I really do like it." Kita said, wrapping her arms around the hyper girl, thinking to herself, should I tell them about Ak-

"Yoo hoo, Ki-ta!" a voice called out as the door to her room was pushed open. Shigure entered, with his black hair strategically falling in front of his bruised eye, a tip he may have picked up from Hatori, and a present under his arm. His mouth dropped to the floor when he saw Hoshiko and Raidon.

"Do you two have permission to be here?" he asked, suddenly very serious.

"We had some assistance getting in." Rai said cryptically, not fully understanding the severity of the situation but more aware that they were in danger than Hoshi.

Shigure turned to Kita. "Maybe they should leave soon. If you didn't ask Akito first, who knows what could happen."

Hoshiko and Raidon exchanged glances. Akito? Who's that?

"You're right." Kita said, sadly. Even though she now knew he loved her, it didn't instantly make him a less violent, disturbed person. "You guys should go but I'm so glad you came by. Really. I'll see you in school on Monday, okay?" she said, hugging them both again and opening the door. Don't leave, her mind begged but neither of them are clairvoyant.

"Haru says Happy Birthday. I don't know if he'll come by on his own but I think he wanted me to tell you." Raidon said.

"If you see him on the way out, tell him thanks." Kita requested.

"Bye Kita." Hoshi said, cheerfully with a little wave. "Bye Shigure." she said in a joking flirtatious way. It was kind of a running joke between them that they're both such serial daters that they will end up dating each other someday.

"Goodbye to you too, Hoshi." he said huskily. Kita was half-expecting him to slap her on the butt on her way out but he didn't. She watched Hoshi and Raidon until they were out of the main house without being seen. She figured that they'd find their way easily from there and most people outside probably wouldn't have the heart to turn them in anyway.

"Happy birthday Kita." Shigure said, handing her the present under his arm. "And I heard about what happened after I left last Saturday, about Kureno telling Akito the truth." He wanted to ask about what has happened since then. He had found out what happened that day through his strong sense of hearing and stumbling across one of Hatori's prescription pads, but he held his tongue.

Kita took the present and nodded. "Yes. Everything is okay now."

"Hey, you're smiling." he said pointing to her curled lips.

"Yeah, I guess I am." she said with a sneaky grin that answered Shigure's unspoken questions.

"_Oh_. Could it be that little Kita's not so little anymore?" he asked laughing. Maybe her experience with Akito wasn't entirely negative, he thought. Ah, romance.

Kita blushed scarlet. "Stop it." she commanded, holding the present over her face.

"So are you going to open it?" he asked.

Kita lowered the gift and tore off the wrapping paper. Two books that had been wrapped together were inside, one that was a new 'other stuff' book by Shigure and one that she had never seen before.

"Both books made me think of you." he said. Kita wasn't exactly sure what to make of the statement. "Oh, and I have a card from Hatori for you. He wasn't sure if he would make it here today." he said, handing her an envelope. Kita took it, recognizing it as a typical Hatori present. He was a money in a card kind of gift giver, every birthday and holiday, but she didn't mind.

"Thank you." Kita said, reaching out to hug him and then stopping and allowing her arms to drop to her sides, wanting to slap herself for her idiocy. "Sorry."

"It's okay."

"And tell Hatori thanks too. I was actually hoping to see him because I wanted to ask him about something."

"What is it? I could tell him if I see him first." Shigure offered.

"Well, I wanted to discuss enrolling in a driving school this April or this summer. Whichever one I can because he can drive and thus can help teach me and I need someone to help with asking Akito if I can. I don't think he would like me having the freedom of a license."

"You may be right but I don't think you'll have any problem learning how to drive. I heard that you drove your father to the hospital after the...the accident."

Kita nodded but didn't say anything. No one had ever called it 'the accident' before especially since no one could be sure of how accidental it was.

Her father would have loved teaching her to drive. He already had been teaching her how since she was fifteen but he had only let her drive illegally a few times.

"So, any plans for today?" he asked, hoping he didn't upset her.

"No. I was pretty much just going to hang out with whoever was around. Kureno's working. Hatori's working. Akito was asleep the last time I checked. Haru is around somewhere but I don't really know where. You're here."

"Yeah." he said, distracted. She needs to be with her friends, he concluded. She can come home later and spend time with the same people she spends time with every day but right now, she needs to go with her friends.

Shigure turned and walked out the door without another word to her.

"Hey, where...?" Kita didn't finish because he had already vanished from the hall and blithely slipped into Akito's room so she sat on the floor in front of the door and waited.

After a few minutes, Shigure emerged from the room looking quite proud of himself.

"Call them." he told her.

"What?" she asked, feeling like she missed something.

"Call them. Call Hoshiko. Call Raidon. Call Haru. Even call Momiji if you want. You talk to him too, right? Tell them to meet you at the movies or something. Just go."

"But...how?" she asked stunned.

Shigure put his hand under his chin like he was deep in thought. "It was just as I had predicted." Kita looked at him confused. He's doing the drama thing again.

"Akito is allowing you to go out with them but you have to be back before seven." he explained. "Apparently he's in a good mood too but I wouldn't get used to it. In fact, it may be part of your birthday present."

Kita couldn't believe her ears. I have permission to go out from Akito. This is a once in a lifetime event. She smiled so hard her eyes started to water."Thank you, Shigure." she said overwhelmed.

"I seriously owed you. Don't mention it."

-------------------------------------

The 'party' was a hit. After deciding that there was nothing worth spending money on at the theaters, they all decided to go to a restaurant, order a cake, and loudly sing Kita a few rounds of "Happy Birthday" until everyone was sick of them and started yelling obscenities so they'd be quiet.

Raidon and Haru had found common ground in discussing music and Hoshi had thought Momiji was so adorable that she wanted to paint his nails and take him to the park in a purely platonic way. It was the most fun out Kita had experienced in such a long time that when seven rolled around, she was sad to say goodbye to them.

She drifted through the main house looking for Kureno to make sure Akito was in the right mood to see her. Luckily, he appeared within the minute racing into one room from another.

"Wait, Kureno!" Kita called out to him. He stopped in his tracks and looked at her. His brown hair was mussed up into an odd but cute shape that kind of reminded her of how Akito looks most days and he was clutching some sort of portfolio like it was his means of survival.

"He's resting. While you were out his fever spiked and we had to get Hatori over here. He's under strict orders to try to sleep it off so he probably won't be ready to see you for another hour or so at least." he informed her.

"Oh." she replied a little sad. She was kind of thrilled at the prospect of seeing him, since she hadn't all day and after getting over that shock, she admitted to herself that she wanted to see him. She rocked back and forth on her feet, kind of hoping Kureno would offer his company. She wasn't feeling so numb anymore and what she had discovered as a result was that she missed spending time with people.

"Are you busy?" she asked him, hopefully.

"Not really. I'm just about wrapping up this evening's work. Why?" he asked, even though he knew why. The lonely gleam in her eye gave it away. Almost like Akito.

"I was wondering if you wanted to have a drink with me, talk, at least until Akito wakes up. I feel like we haven't talked in a while." she said, crossing her fingers.

"I'll see you in the kitchen in two minutes then." he said, trying to get the papers that were falling out of the binder to stay in.

"Okay." Kita said, as she skipped off to her room to get the sake.

Soon the two of them were sitting at the table taking sips from the sake bottles, discussing everything under the sun, or at least under the rain-cloud that hung over Sohma house. All topics were resurrected ranging from Arisa, the convenience store girl, to Akito's temper to Haru and Rin and everything else they could think to say.

"You know, Kureno?" Kita started, carelessly running her finger around the rim of the bottle. "I think this is what cements our friendship." she said, her now common grin shining brightly back at him.

"I'd say so." he agreed, taking another drink. "Hm, I don't think Akito is allowed to drink sake." he said, reading the label.

"I figured." she said. She was pretty sure alcohol was not part of a healthy diet and that Hatori would ward him off it.

"So what changed your relationship with him anyway?" Kureno asked, wondering if he was overstepping their boundaries but figured that they were now good enough friends to talk about it.

"He proved that he really does love me." she said vaguely as she finished the last of her bottle. Her brain felt as if it had accumulated a layer of fur that would rub against her skull every time she moved. It was like artificial numbness which she really wasn't sure how she felt about.

"Was it...his wrist?" Kureno inquired, feeling like he was walking on eggshells.

Kita nodded. "You knew?" she asked.

"I don't know if he wanted me to but I found out. I caught him cleaning off a knife in the kitchen and since then he's become very clever about hiding it."

Kita could feel the pressure in her eyes again but now it was mixing with her light head, making her feel like she could potentially explode into nothing but air and water particles.

As if he had heard them talking about them, Akito sauntered into the kitchen eyeing the bottles of sake suspiciously. He looked like he was still tired but luckily he didn't look upset by the party that was going on without him.

"Akito." Kita murmured as she stood up and walked over to him, wrapping her arms around him. He responded stiffly by asking, "What are you two doing?"

"We were just having a conversation. We're officially friends now." Kita said, making sure it sounded as innocent as it was.

He glanced acutely at Kureno who seemed unfazed by his presence. There's nothing to worry about. Akito chose to believe her and slipped his hand into hers.

"Come." he said, his tone calm but strong as he led her out of the kitchen towards his room. She waved at Kureno over her shoulder who looked a little uneasy. Kita didn't really know why but she was hoping it didn't have to do with Akito's attitude. Everything was going so well...

Once they had entered the room, he pulled her into a torrid kiss as she attempted to shut the door, having to try to close it three different times before it was fully shut.

"I hope you had _fun_ with your friends today." he said in a hushed tone as he broke away from her. His words contained a sharp tang that made Kita shudder.

"I did." she replied simply, her yellow-green eyes locked with his steel ones.

"Good. Because I don't think I'll be able to let you go out anymore." he told her as his hands encircled her waist possessively. "I couldn't stand being away from you for so long. And I was sick on top of it."

Kita felt a part of her die. No friends. Now that she had tasted what it was like to be out again, she wanted to do it again. And what about college? She wanted to make something of her life, learn more in school and become a psychological therapist, although caring for Akito was like unofficial training for it anyway. I'm grateful Akito has helped me to be happy again but he only wants me to be happy with him, she thought.

Too stunned to speak, Kita merely stood still as Akito ran his hand up from her black pants to the strap of the halter top Hoshi had bought her. His fingers then made their way onto the onyx and silver necklace her father had bought her for her birthday last year. "You look very pretty today." he told her.

"Thank you." she answered calmly.

Akito smirked and walked over to the table on the other side of the room and picked up a box that had been placed on it. He handed the box to her and whispered in her ear, "Happy birthday... again."

Kita took the present and opened it to find a jewelry box inside. It was silver and embedded with gems that Kita knew could be real what with the riches the Sohma family was endowed with. She slowly pulled the box out of its confines and traced the eight-pointed star patterns on the lid with her fingers. The exquisite cut of the gems poked the pads of her fingers in a way that was almost painful but very gentle.

"Thank you, Akito. It's beautiful." she said with a smile. One of his hands went back to touching the onyx necklace while the other stroked her hair.

"So you can have a safe place to shut away what's important to you."


	21. Silent Soliloquy

_**Author's Note:**_

_Chapter 20_ (Silent Soliloquy)

Kita lazily sat on Akito's porch and stared at the tracks in the snow, her legs tucked into her chest to keep warm as she tightly gripped them with her arms. She was tired but not from a lack of sleep; she was feeling a bit overwhelmed and that wore her out and zapped her of energy and motivation. It wasn't like an absence of emotions, she had overcome that, this was more like a dispiriting overview of what as happened to her thus far and how she feels about it, finding that when it came to answering the question of how she felt about every thing, she still came up short.

That morning she had woken up on Akito's futon again, tangled in a web of quilts, which he had a lot of so that he didn't get cold at night. When she lifted her eyelids, she was surprised to see that she hadn't been woken by the birds outside but, in fact, there were birds flying in through the window which someone had opened. They chirped and swam in his birdbath and a few just circled around the room like it was their morning calisthenics. All different kinds: doves, bluejays, sparrows, chickadees, the room had practically turned into an aviary. Kita tried not to disturb them as she sat up and realized Akito wasn't lying next to her, but most of them had gotten frightened and flown away. By the time she was standing, only two remained, both white doves. She moved very slowly across the floor, not getting too close and trying not to cause the floor to squeak, and she was able to slip out of the room without scaring them off.

Kita had looked down at her pajamas, confused. She didn't remember putting on pajamas. She didn't remember taking off her yukata for that matter. She was sure she hadn't done anything with him last night. He wasn't feeling good and his dominating behavior certainly kept her from feeling like it anyway. Just because she had given in the night before, didn't mean she was going to let him always get his way. Although, that was easier said than done since it really wasn't her choice. I must have gotten changed when I was half-asleep, she thought, a general memory of her changing last night after Akito had fallen asleep coming to the forefront of her mind.

As she strolled back to her room to change, she heard a noise coming from the bathroom. A painful crack in vocal chords that were clearly male as they possessed a lower sound, smooth but eerie. Oh no.

Kita rushed to the door and pressed her ear against it in an attempt to hear the commotion. A long, agonizing groan emanated from inside and was followed by the sound of an acidic dry heave, that of someone who either hadn't eaten or had nothing left to give to the porcelain bowl. She opened the door such a minuscule amount that whoever was inside wouldn't notice and saw Akito leaning against the toilet in anticipation for another moment when he'd need it.

Kita didn't know what to do. The sight was so disheartening that she could barely stand to look at him. What would my parents do, she thought to herself as she bolted her eyes shut but didn't close the door. Dad would go in and tell him a joke to try to make him feel better. _That toilet is getting more action this morning than me. _Kita groaned. I don't joke like he used to and I wouldn't joke at a time like this. I can't even look at him without tearing up. Mom would go in and ask if he's okay, keep his hair out of his face, offer to get him some clean clothes, and wipe up anything that doesn't make it into the bowl. The reeking stench of undigested food and stomach secretion hit her nostrils and she had to shut the door. I can't do it, she thought. No matter how much I want to help him, I'm just too damn selfish and too damn cowardly. I can't even look at him. Despicable.

Defeated, she walked to her room and got dressed in her darkest jeans and a black turtleneck. She was feeling morbid and felt she needed to express it. Seeing him like that made her already feel like she had lost him too. Where's the harm in premature mourning? On her way out the door, she put in the earrings her father gave her and grabbed the black hooded sweatshirt that her mother used to wear when she went jogging, which was hanging on the back of her door next to her uniform. Kita had taken the sweatshirt after she died and worn it to bed every day for a month as a method of coping. It had been so big on her, since she had only just turned six when it happened, but now it fit perfectly.

Kita had already decided that she needed to think and the only place she thought would be appropriate to go to was Akito's porch. Something about his porch was accommodating to a pensive individual who needed time alone with themselves and she was determined to utilize her solitary time with it.

The doves had left the room by the time she had gone in so she was able to walk at a normal pace across the room and push the doors open without caring about making noise. The air was chilly outside and she had nothing on her feet but a pair of slippers that she sometimes wore around the house on cold days like today. She pulled her mother's sweatshirt over her head and swung her feet over the edge of the porch, allowing them to dangle back and forth. She wanted to think, but she couldn't decide what point to examine. Every worry, thought, debate had already been analyzed. Akito was still dying and relentless about letting her leave to go out. She still didn't know what to do about college because she was still sure he wouldn't let her go. She still wasn't sure about her feelings towards him. She liked him, she cared deeply about him, and yet she feared him like she has never feared anything before. No news here.

One of her two-sizes too big slippers slid off her foot and landed face down in the snow. Wonderful. Kita thought about grabbing the slipper and trying to warm it up again but decided that there was no point in doing so. Instead, she took off her other slipper, leaving the first one in the snow, and pulled her legs in towards her chest again. She had a high tolerance for cold feet but nothing else as she found herself shivering a little because of the frigid air that found its way up her legs.

Eventually, the shivering passed and she sat frozen on the porch: her mind clear of all restricting thoughts, her body free of demanding movement.

A dove flew gracefully down and landed on her knee. It looked up at her curiously with beady black eyes, thinking her to be a painted statue to perch upon. Kita smiled and chuckled softly as not to scare the bird away. She had only ever seen a bird perch on a person once before and that was one day after school when she found Akito sitting in the exact same place as she was now. He was just as idled as she was now too.

Sounds of slushy footprints made their way towards the back of the main house and the bird flew away. Kita frowned, having lost her companion and looked up. Hatori was standing in front of her, dark hair swept over his bad eye as usual and holding his briefcase which she recognized as the one with all the pills and medical paraphernalia.

"Come to see Akito?" she asked, sure the news of this love affair with the bathroom had been passed on to him.

Hatori nodded. "And what are you doing out here without shoes on?" he asked, eyeing her dirty, bare feet.

"My slipper fell." she said, thinking she sounded like a dullard.

Hatori picked up her slipper and shook off the snow on it, placing it next to her other one that was still on the porch. He noticed the sweatshirt she was wearing and started to wonder if something was wrong. He remembered how after Mina had died, Kita had worn it every day.

The anniversary of her death, he thought, feeling like a cretin for not remembering. It's a week from today.

"Thanks," she said, pulling her legs into an Indian-style position, with her feet tucked behind her kneecaps to warm them up.

Hatori was about to explain the dangers of going outside in the freezing cold barefoot but decided to refrain from it. She knew the dangers and clearly didn't care. He just still felt responsible for her somehow. In spite of a very brief stint with a completely inappropriate and never to be mentioned crush on her when she was fifteen, he had always been her big brother and it was a role he would gladly assume.

"You're welcome." he said, walking up the steps. "By the way, I enrolled you in a driving course that starts right after graduation. It's kind of far away from here but it's one of the best places you can go to learn how to drive. Don't worry about the cost because Kureno has already worked out funding it for you."

Kita's mouth dropped. "Does Akito know?" she asked, surprised that she couldn't think of a better question to ask.

"No. We haven't told him yet but he will find out eventually." he said, mysteriously.

Kita nodded, realizing that she didn't care about him not knowing. She'll tell him herself after she actually gets her license.

Disrupting her contemplation, the door to the porch slid open and Akito stood in the doorway. His hair was messier than usual and smelled a bit like vomit but not to the absurd degree that the bathroom had. He had changed into a clean yukata but it didn't cover up the fact that he was sick.

"Good morning Kita." he said to her, smiling down at her. She looked so cute and fragile, sitting on his porch wearing mostly black.

"Good morning Akito." she said, trying not to look at him too closely. She didn't want to start tearing up.

Neither of them seemed to realize it was actually one o'clock in the afternoon.

"Are you ready Akito?" Hatori asked, motioning to his briefcase.

He stopped staring at Kita and sighed.

"Yes, get on with it." he said annoyed, as the two men entered the house. Kita stayed outside, not wanting to be there when he gets examined. She just sat on the porch enjoying the feeling of serenity and the absence of new things to worry about.


	22. Bending The Bars Of A Mental Cage

_**Author's Note:** Here is an appearance by two Fruits Basket characters that haven't officially shown up yet. I won't tell you who. _

_I think I've lost a lot of readers. _

_To the ones still reading: Comments equal Less time in between updates. Lately, I've been getting no love._

_Enjoy!_

_Chapter 21_ (Bending Bars Of A Mental Cage)

That Tuesday, the teachers at Kaibara High were trying desperately to cram all of the remaining lessons they could possibly have to teach into the remaining two weeks before finals. While more determined students like Raidon and Kita furiously copied down pages and pages of intensively detailed notes, Hoshiko slept through every period not even bothering with reviewing the material. She figured that as long as she doesn't fail every exam, the school will have no choice but to pass her and let her graduate anyway.

Haru hadn't shown up for school that day so Kita walked home with just Momiji who was enthusiastically describing his latest adventure with the infamous Tohru Honda. Kita knew she shouldn't judge Tohru before meeting her but everything everyone has told her about the girl seemed so sugar-coated and fake, like she was some kind of savior of the Sohma house. Poor girl lost her parents and now she has come to free the Sohma family of the Zodiac curse! What does that make me in the eyes of the Sohmas then, Kita wondered. Some kind of orphaned whore? She shuddered.

"That girl must be something." Kita said with a hint of sarcasm. Momiji beamed at her, not realizing that she was growing annoyed and rancorous from all his talk about her.

As they parted ways, Momiji waved goodbye with a smile as wide as a kid in a candy store and skipped back to his house. Kita gave him a small wave back and walked into the main house, kicking off her shoes in the doorway and looking to see if Kureno would pop up and tell her some news regarding Akito.

"He doesn't want to see you yet." Kureno said from a sitting room as she walked by. She stopped in the middle of the doorway and looked at him curiously.

"Oh. Why?" she asked sadly. She wanted to make sure he was doing better.

"He's sick again. The kind of sick where he doesn't want you to see him until he cleans up." he said. Truthfully, Akito just didn't want to show her how weak he can be. He knew he would have a hard time getting her to comply to his commands if she saw him broken too often.

"Oh, okay." she said, a little thankful she wouldn't have to watch him throw up again. It was far too painful. "I think I'm going to go for a walk then." she decided.

"That's fine. Just be back in an hour." he yelled to her as she turned around and put her shoes back on.

"I will." she hollered back as she slipped out of the door and back into the frigid air.

Kita wanted to go to Haru's house and see why he wasn't in school. He was healthy yesterday so he couldn't have come down with something so quickly. Right? And it's not like he could have gotten lost going to school but if there were one person who would, it would be him.

She made her way around the back of his house where she knew his room was but before she could look inside, she heard an almost inhuman growl of anger followed by a loud crash coming from within.

She pulled back the door and peered into Haru's room to see his bookshelf turned over on the floor with books scattered everywhere. His CDs, which were always in a state of disarray, were intertwined with the torn pages and some of them had cracked covers. A chair was also laying pathetically on the ground and Haru was breathing heavily over it like he was going to kick it as he viewed the mess he had made. It was black Haru.

Kita was torn between wanting to leave him alone and wanting to know what was wrong and instead found herself, once again, static in the moment. Haru looked up, having heard her breathing.

"What do you want?" he asked sharply, gray eyes flashing with furor.

"I was just wondering why you weren't in school today. Are you alright?" she asked, holding her position. He wasn't scary, no one was scary in comparison to Akito, she just didn't want to instigate another outburst.

"Do I look alright to you!" Haru replied, stepping forward and crushing another empty CD case with the toe of his boot.

"No. You look pretty damn pissed off." she said, a little surprised by her own bluntness. "Why are you so damn pissed off?" she asked gently, sounding like a wounded baby animal.

"Well if you have to know, and you always _have_ to know, I had a little run-in with my girlfriend." he said piercingly, kicking a book towards her. Kita picked up the tattered paperback and carefully closed it so that the spine wouldn't bend anymore than it already had and no pages would fall out. He's going to regret this when he changes back.

"I'm sorry." Kita said calmly. "Is there anything I can do?"

Haru turned around so his back was to her. He walked over to his bed, avoiding the junk covering his floor and sat down, rubbing his throbbing forehead.

"No. I'm sorry, Kita." he said, coming out of the trance. His voice softened as he spoke. "I shouldn't have snapped at you like that. You didn't do anything."

Kita walked into his room and sat down on the bed next to him. "That's okay. I'm kind of...used to it." she said, her voice lowering at she spoke the last three words. She handed him the book.

"Thanks." he said, taking it from her.

"Do you want me to help you clean up?" she asked. Kita always kept everything spotlessly clean because she absolutely despised cleaning with every fiber of her existence but she didn't want to tell him that. She wanted to help him out a little bit at least.

"No. It's my fault but thank you. You should go and see Akito. He's been really sick. You could make him feel better." he told her. He set the book on his unmade bed and started picking up the large fallen pieces of furniture. Kita tried to help by grabbing onto the other side of the bookshelf as he lifted it but she wasn't strong enough to carry the weight herself.

"I still have a while before I have to see him. Apparently he was so sick, he wanted to get it all out of his system and clean up before I visit."

Haru shrugged in an 'oh well' kind of way. "By the way, to answer your question, I wasn't in school because Rin was released from the hospital today and I wanted to see her." He started gathering piles of clothes he had pulled from his drawers in his fit of rage and placing them on his bed. "A lot of good that did me, huh?"

"All things happen for a reason." Kita answered. She had always believed it, even in the worst of times with her parents' death and with every horrible thing Akito did to her. She knew that somehow everything had a purpose even if you couldn't see it right away.

"You may be right." Haru said, smiling. "Bye Kita. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Bye Haru." she said as she walked out the door and jumped off his porch, her blue school skirt flaring about her like a parachute allowing her to land safely.

She started to wander around the estate with no set destination in mind. It was still cold and a little snowy so almost everyone was hiding away inside their heated houses, enjoying a refreshing cup of hot tea.

The snow was really starting to collect on her black boots as she trudged through a large pile, built up by shovels to keep the walking path clear. She looked around, trying to find distinct landmarks to indicate where she was. On one particularly boring day at the main house about a month ago, she had memorized which Sohma lived in which house after she had found a list and map among Kureno's things. According to her memory, she was very close to Kagura's house. Kita wondered if she was home from college yet because she hadn't seen her since a chance happening at school a couple years ago. They had always gotten along well until Kagura would start ranting about her undying love for Kyo and then Kita's realism would kick in and Kagura would get angry with her. The idea of seeing someone who she could hang out with was tempting so she immediately starting walking towards her house.

Kita hoofed up the stairs to the house towards the front door. Kagura's mother had always been nice to her and her mother so she didn't feel the need to go around the back to get in. She raised her fist to knock but before she could hit the frame, the door was pulled open at such force that Kita was expecting it to tear or even snap. Standing in front of her was a girl who looked to be her age. She had long black hair and dark eyes like Ren and she was wearing a miniskirt with knee-high boats and a low-cut top. Kita was surprised by how much the girl looked like Hoshiko minus the eyes and the length of her hair. The girl looked angrily down at Kita who would have been the same height as her had it not been for her boats.

"Excuse me." the girl said, pushing past Kita and taking a seat on the steps leading up the house. It had occurred to Kita that this girl accurately fit Haru's description of Rin that he had dispensed once in conversation. Could it really be her?

"Hi." Kita said, bowing to the girl. "I'm Kita. You wouldn't happen to be Isuzu by any chance? Or do you prefer Rin?"

The girl looked up at her coldly. "How do you know my name?" she asked.

"Oh...well...I heard about you." she spat out, thinking it would be a bad idea to mention Haru after what she had witnessed in his room. The girl lowered her eyelids as if trying to figure out a difficult math problem.

"Kita. I've heard of you too. You're Akito's new toy, aren't you?" she asked, intentionally trying to sound condescending. She was pissed off with Haru and this Kita girl seemed like an easy target.

Kita's mouth dropped open as she gaped at her. Her natural urge to quietly walk away feeling bad about herself kicked in. No, she thought. I can't just keep letting everything happen around me without my input. "It's not like that. You just met me so you can't pass judgment on my life. I think you're just mad about Haru and taking it out on me." she slurred nervously, trying to hide the fact that her hands were actually shaking.

Rin raised her eyebrows in surprise. She had underestimated her. She had heard that she was a quiet, shy girl which she had proved herself to be a few minutes ago. Now it was like she had been replaced with someone else, someone assertive.

Rin stood up and walked away out into the midst of the Sohma estate without looking back once, secretly feeling a bit defeated. Kita waited for the experience to settle in, finding the entire interaction to be unbelievable. I did it.

"Kita!" she heard Kureno shout as he made his way towards her. "Akito wants to see you now." he told her as he took her wrist in his hand.

"Okay." she said, letting him walk her back to the main house. I'm not a toy or an orphaned whore, she thought defiantly. He loves me and I don't have to let them think anything less.


	23. Boyfriend

_**Author's Note:** First off: Hebi ni Piasu is a real book by Hitomi Kanehara. Translation is "Snakes And Earrings." It's a crazy book but also addictive._

_Secondly: I actually have some drawings I did for this chapter. I'm not the best artist in the world but if you would like to see them, send me a message or review or soemthing. Since I can't postthe links here and have it show up. Damn thing._

_Thirdly: I would like to thank KentCharm, Laochra, and TheBloodyBlackRoseOfHiei for making me happy._

_Chapter 22 _(Boyfriend)

Early Friday morning while everyone was trying to grasp the concept of charged particles and convection versus conduction, Kita was hiding a book she had borrowed from the library in her physics notebook and pretending to take notes. She had finished the books Shigure had given her for her birthday a while ago and she was convinced the one he wrote was loosely based on her situation. The heroine was a shy girl who is seduced by a dark figure who wants her so much that he locks her up. Had she been unable to relate, she would question Shigure's new approach to his smutty stories.

Now she was morbidly enthralled with _Hebi ni Piasu_ which she had dubbed one of the strangest books she had ever read. Just reading the first few pages made her cringe, not being able to understand how someone could be a masochist but she had continued reading anyway and now she couldn't put it down. She found the main character, Lui, to be clinically insane and that almost made her feel better about herself. Lui didn't seem any worse off than Kita but she had resorted to cheating on her boyfriend with the sadist tattoo shop owner, thinking about death and which of the two guys should be given the honor of killing her should she decide she wanted to die, and drinking sake 24/7. Although Kita always thought of herself as being a weak person, she clearly had strength to not resort to such things no matter how difficult her life became.

During a particularly graphic sex scene between two of the characters, the intercom came on causing Kita to practically jump in her seat.

"Sohma Kita. Sohma Kita of class 3-A, please report to the office at this time." the monotonous voice droned. Everyone in the room turned to look at her as she quickly shut her notebook so no one could see that she hadn't been paying attention. Hoshiko and Raidon gave her looks asking what it was about. She shrugged ignorantly and looked up at the teacher for permission to leave. He motioned that it was okay for her to go so she left her books on her desk, thinking she would come back soon, and walked out of the room.

As she languidly strolled down the lonely, empty hallways, past classrooms active with lessons and writing, she found an increasing sense of trepidation inching up to the apex of her thoughts. Did I do something wrong? I couldn't have won an award or anything like that; I never entered any contest. And I haven't done anything wrong. I meet the graduation requirements too so that can't be it. At least I don't have to worry about news that my parents have died, she thought disconsolately.

She stopped moving. Died. What if someone has died, she thought terrified. Akito.

She broke into a frantic run down the hallway, her long, purple hair flailing about behind her as she stirred up discarded sheets of paper that had fallen out of notebooks, sending them into a whirlwind. No, he can't be dead. He can't. Please tell me he's not dead.

Kita reached the office out of breath as a woman who she recognized as being some sort of secretary left the room.

"Sohma Kita?" she asked when she saw her. She was an older, stern-looking woman who seemed like she was ready to retire years ago. She held an empty, porcelain cup loosely in her wrinkly hand.

"Yes, that's me." Kita spat out, wanting to yell out, 'why have you called me down here?' but was, as usual, able to contain herself.

"Do you know that young man in there?" the women asked, pointing into the small window of the office door. Facing the outside window was a diminutive frame with dark mop-like hair and an entirely black outfit from his turtleneck to his shoes. He's okay.

"Yes, I know him." Kita said relieved.

"He _claims_ to have the same last name as you." the women mentioned suspiciously, raising an eyebrow.

"Um, yes, he's my...second cousin." Kita lied. She figured that no one would attempt to trace her relation to him if he's as distant as a second cousin but that was a close enough relation that it wouldn't be unusual for him to be delivering news to her. In reality though, the two were barely related at all.

"Okay." the secretary said, frowning a little out of disbelieve and a little out of irritation. "I'm going to fill this up and use the bathroom. I'll leave you to discuss the matter at hand with him." she said, genuinely sounding like she didn't care. She walked away brusquely like she had no intention of returning.

Kita turned her attention back to the door and swung it open. Akito turned around and smiled at her, a smile that was both warm and lusty, a combination only he could achieve. He walked over to her and placed a demure kiss on her lips as an uncharacteristically shy hello.

"So what did you tell her?" he asked, referring to the secretary. "She seemed to not believe my honest face when I said my name was Sohma Akito." He pulled a look of false innocence and dismay that anyone wouldn't think him to be so.

"I told her you were my second cousin." Kita said flatly, wanting to get to the part where he tells her why he's here.

Akito smirked and leaned into her ear. "You could have just told her that I'm your lov-..."

"No, I couldn't have." she said, cutting him off. This was hardly the time and place for him to be acting lecherously. "So, why are you here?" she asked, leaning against the desk in the corner of the room. He never leaves the house; he's usually too sick to. In fact, it was the first time Kita had seen him wearing anything other than a yukata.

"I missed you." he told her as he stepped in closer to her so that only an inch of space remained between them.

"Y-you d-did?" Kita asked, finding his current behavior very intimating and also oddly attractive. His cold, steel eyes bored into her, making her feel small and without an iota of control. Cursed. I'm cursed too, she thought to herself as he reached behind her and picked a small piece of paper off the desk.

"That's why I have this." he said, handing her the paper. She opened in up and noticed Hatori's letterhead almost instantaneously.

"Please excuse Sohma Kita at ten o'clock today, March 6th. She needs to have many thorough examinations conducted in regards to a few suspicious growths on her body that could potentially be very serious matters. Signed, Sohma Hatori, Sohma family medical practitioner." Kita put the note down on the desk and looked up at Akito, torn between wondering if he had to play the God card in order to get Hatori to write the note and not really wanting to know.

"So, I was thinking we could go somewhere." he said, putting his hands on her hips, the icy chill running up her back. "Not for very long, but maybe a little while. You haven't been out much." And I don't want you getting the desire to run away from being shut up inside the Sohma gates for so long, he mentally added.

Kita smiled and Akito kissed her, gently at first like he did when she had first come in but gradually increasing in passion to the point where she started to wonder about his motives. Kita opened her eyes and peeked at the door through the corner of her eye, afraid that someone might come in. His sinful hands moved down over her pelvis to cup her bottom so he could hoist her up onto the desk, something he probably wouldn't have been able to do a month and a half ago but she had become so scrawny from her lack of food that she felt weightless to him. His hands went up to her shoulders as he tried to carefully push her down onto the desk so she would be laying horizontally but she resisted.

"No Akito. Not now. Someone could walk in." she pleaded. He gave her a 'so what' kind of smile but stopped pushing her anyway. As an alternative, he sneakily ran his hand up her inner thigh. Kita's breathing faltered as he stroked her gently through the fabric of her underwear.

"Oh God. Please stop." she whined, her body instinctively moving forward even though she was telling herself to pull away. Akito smirked as if she had been calling him God even though that wasn't how she meant it. They were both so lost in what was going on, neither of them happened to hear the door to the office creak open.

"What the fuck!" shouted a voice from the door.

Catching them in the act, Hoshi stood there with her hands cupped over her mouth in shock. Akito smirked at the girl, recognizing her from Kita's picture. Kita wanted to kick him in the groin for not taking his hand out from under her skirt but instead blushed bright red.

"Um, yeah. I'm going to, uh, go now." Hoshi said, shutting the door. Kita hopped off the desk and chased after her, not really thinking about what Akito would think of her for leaving him to talk to her friend.

"Hoshi! Hoshi, stop walking!" she shouted as she raced down the hall. Hoshi complied and turned around promptly.

"Why didn't you tell me you have a boyfriend?" she asked angrily. "We're friends! Friends tell each other things like that. Especially if it's serious enough for him to practically finger you in the office during school hours!"

Kita cringed at her tone and use of words. "I'm sorry." she said, sounding meek and embarrassed. "I guess I just didn't want anyone to know because I wasn't sure how I felt about our relationship. I didn't want you and Rai to read too much into it." she said, staring at her clean white school shoes.

Hoshi's face softened. Kita was her best friend. She couldn't stay mad at her, especially when she looked so remorseful. "That's reasonable." she said earnestly as she gave Kita an apologetic hug. "I'm sorry too."

Kita half-smiled at her and the two girls started to walk back to the office together.

"So..." Hoshi said, breaking the silence with her hands out and her palms up.

"So what?" Kita asked.

"So, tell me about him!" she said, as if that had been what she wanted to know from the beginning. "He's cute. He looks like your type too. I know you like that whole quiet, mysterious, older guy thing. I know you wish I would but I haven't forgotten when you were fifteen and had that little, secret crush on Hatori. How old is he anyway? Your boyfriend, not Hatori."

"He'll be twenty in a few months." Kita said, realizing that she never really associated Akito with an age. He seemed ageless.

"Good age for you. What's his name? What does he do?" Hoshi continued avidly since Kita wasn't going to spill the information without her asking first.

"His name's Akito and he's the head of the family." she said, wondering how Hoshiko would react to that.

"Oh yeah. You and Shigure were talking about him on your birthday. Hm, so you're dating the head of the family. Does that make you, like, regal in your family or something?" Hoshi joked.

Kita had never heard the words 'boyfriend,' 'dating,' and 'Akito' all being referenced in the same breath. She never really thought of him as a boyfriend and they have never actually gone on a date.

"Funny, Hoshi." Kita said, sarcastically. "Well, I'm going to be out the rest of the day. Akito wants to spend some time with me." she said as they closed in on the office door.

"That's so sweet!" Hoshi chirped. "I'm so happy for you. You need someone and this guy seems to bring out a more lively side of you. You're smiling again." she said with a wink. "Bye Kita." she said, turning around and walking back to their classroom. Kita entered the office where Akito was sitting in a brown leather chair facing the desk.

"I'm sorry." she said to him softly. "I just wanted to make sure she was okay. That's my friend Hoshiko."

"I know." he said, secretly wondering why she needed friends on the outside. Kita didn't ask how he knew. She had just accepted the fact that Akito was omniscient when it came to people even though Kureno was probably a big part of that. "So let's go get your things. You need to change your shoes." he said, glimpsing at her school shoes as he stood up and wrapped his arm around her waist to direct her out of the room.

After going to her locker and changing from her white school slippers into her black boots, they stopped by her classroom so she could get her books. Once she walked in, Hoshi nudged Raidon and whispered into his ear while pointing towards Akito who was lurking outside the door like a butler in a haunted house. Rai's eyes widened and he smiled at Kita, knowingly. Her face flushed ruby-red, afraid of how much Hoshi had told him, and waved goodbye.

As the couple walked towards the school's front door, Akito's arm snaked possessively around her waist, they passed room 2-D, Yuki and Kyo's room. Yuki noticed them and Akito smirked at him, causing his eyes to broaden in fear. Kita pretended not to notice even though she sensed the tension. She pretended not to see the short, brown-haired girl sitting near him tap him on the shoulder and ask if everything was okay. She pretended not to see Kyo raise an eyebrow at Yuki and glance towards the door, only to see no one there. She had forgotten that just because Akito was being nice to her, it didn't mean he was to everyone. She shook her head to dispel the thoughts.

"So where are we going anyway?"


	24. Lilies For Graves

_**Author's Note:** The title of this chapter was inspired by my favorite Shakespearian play, Hamlet. When his girlfriend, Ophelia, goes crazy she starts collecting flowers and saying, "There's rosemary, that's for remembrance, pray you, love, remember and there's pansies, that's for thoughts, etc." And I thought "lilies are for putting on graves, aren't they?" The title will make even more sense when you read it._

_Also, to see my crappy drawings, my profile thingy has the links._

_Thanks to all who reviewed! You know who you are! Much love! Enjoy! I'm going a little overboard on the exclamation points today, huh?_

_Chapter 23_ (Lilies For Graves)

"Speak." Akito said weakly, as he ran his bony fingers over the ridge of the obi of the bright blue kimono that he had gotten her. The tiny yellow-green and purple flowers made her eyes and hair look intense and powerful while the silver flowers brought out how pale his skin was as his hands brushed against the beautiful silk.

The sick God had crawled into her lap and she was lovingly cradling his thin body in her arms wondering if he was ever held as a child. Probably not. Ren didn't exactly strike her as the motherly type.

Usually, they were fine when silence would hang between them on days like this, days when he was so ill he could barely move and the only sound in the room would be that of the heater that was never sufficiently warm enough for him. It was a moment to relish in the simple act of being together, not needing to say how much they care about each other because the feelings were mutually understood. But today, he wanted her to talk. He needed to hear her soft voice to remind him that he's still alive.

"What?" Kita asked, a little taken aback by the request. She had thought he wanted to fall asleep so she was trying to be as quiet as possible. She even had a pillow behind her just in case he drifted off before she had a chance to make him well-situated.

"I told you to speak. I want to hear your voice." he murmured against her neck. His hair tickled her jaw as he stirred slightly, trying to get comfortable against her now very thin figure.

"I don't know what to say." she admitted, shifting her hips so that his slim, white legs could more comfortably rest on her folded, pink-hued ones.

"Tell me about something important to you. Something you've never told me about." He asked, tracing the outline of the neck of her kimono with his index finger, over her collarbone and sternum. "Tell me about your mother's death."

Kita sucked in a short breath and her eyes grew wide. Not many people ever asked to hear the story. She didn't like talking about it. It had taken so many years to convince herself that it wasn't her fault that she hardly ever reflected on it. Thinking about it only spurred up new theories and plausible excuses. But she didn't really have a choice now, not because she was afraid of what he would do, he was too sick to hurt her, but because if she didn't tell him she would feel like she was keeping something from him and she had tried so hard to not hide things from Akito. It's just strange he made this particular request today of all days, she thought, taking a deep breath.

"It happened on March 8th, twelve years ago today. My mother and father were having and argument in the kitchen and, being the curious child that I was, I was eavesdropping on them." She stopped to look down at Akito who had his eyes closed but appeared to still be listening so she went on. "She had just told him what happened two months ago at New Years, you know, about you and me, and he was furious that she didn't tell him right away. He said I could be in danger after what happened with her and the previous family head. I still don't know what he meant by that. Either way, the fight escalated to the point where my mother just ran out of the house." She looked at Akito again, body still, eyes closed, lips parted just enough so that the tips of his upper teeth were visible. Now she was pretty sure he had fallen asleep so she stopped telling her story.

"And?" Akito asked, proving her wrong with his eyes still closed as he spoke.

"It was raining that day and she had a terrible cold. It's possible she had been a bit delirious when she told my father about New Years." Kita stopped to take a deep breath and collect herself. "She was very sensitive to cold, wet temperatures and she was sick so the combination caused her to transform. She hid so no one would see her and be suspicious and so just in case she changed back, it wouldn't be in front of anyone." Kita looked to her right so she couldn't see Akito. "My father found her dead behind a dumpster later that night when he went out looking for her to apologize. He never told me if he found her as a tiger or naked. I was too afraid to know. I blamed myself for her death for years. I just kept thinking, if I hadn't been so curious, I never would have gotten her into trouble."

Akito opened his eyes at that remark. "It's not your fault she didn't tell Jiro right away and it's not your fault she ran outside at the wrong time. And if you hadn't been so curious, we never would have met." he explained. "And that would be unfortunate because I love you." he added in a whisper as he kissed her neck softly.

Kita didn't know how to respond. She kind of wished those things had been told to her when she was six and still blaming herself.

"How about your father?" Akito asked, closing his eyes again.

Kita shuddered. So far, she had yet to tell the whole story to anyone. The wounds were still so fresh and open. "That Saturday we had run out of milk and some other basic necessities so he and I stopped by the nearest convenience store. It was raining that day too so he suggested we take a shortcut through this alley. We had to park pretty far away from the store because the lot was full." Akito nodded against her shoulder to show that he was still awake and actively listening.

"There were these two guys there who had followed us. One of them pushed me to the ground and held a gun at me, demanding that I give him my purse. I remember that I was shaking too much to register the command and match it with an action so I laid still." Akito's eyes opened and he looked at her. Her eyes had changed to a darker shade of green as tears started to form.

"The other one who wasn't holding the gun at me proposed the idea of rape to my father, taunting him. My father ran to try to help me but the man shot him." A tear rolled down her cheek and fell onto Akito's wrist which was resting over her heart. "The two guys ran away after that. I still don't know if they actually intended to shoot or if it had been an accident. I carried him to the car and then drove him to the hospital. It's a miracle I didn't get stopped and fined for speeding and driving without a licence." She laughed a little to try to stifle her tears but it was no use. The floodgates had been opened. The storm was long past simply brewing.

Akito wrapped his arm around her, feeling a very unfamiliar emotion. Guilt. Slight little pangs of guilt for doing to her what those men did. He started to envision that knife in his mind, the one hidden behind the vase in the corner that he had used so often to relive pain, on himself, on others. But at least I had reason for what I did unlike those malicious bastards, he thought, dispelling the guilt to focus on fury.

"If I ever find those men, I'll kill them." he said, vehemently. Kita knew he was being serious and the thought actually frightened her a bit. She didn't want him getting in trouble with the law, even though anyone in the family who had ever been abused by him could have tried to do so already, including her. And in his helpless state, the idea sounded a tab unbelievable.

I have to tell him.

"I know, Akito." she said quietly, her face down so he couldn't see her.

"What?" he asked, pushing her head upright so he could look at her.

"I know...about you...and how you're...dying." She spoke slowly through teardrops, each word sharp and painful. Akito's face grew colder.

"Yes, I am." he answered stoically. He did not fear death and sometimes he found himself favoring the idea of it to life but Kita didn't see it that way. She started crying again, her hands flying to cover her face. Akito rubbed her back, remembering how it so often calmed her during times like this.

"Do you want to go to the graveyard?" he asked casually, as if the topic of his death had never been mentioned.

Kita looked up, her eyes almost emerald with saline and partially covered by the shorter stands of hair framing her face.

"To see your mother." he clarified. "I bet you usually go see her today." he guessed, brushing the hair away from her lovely eyes that were usually that unforgettable, animalistic shade of yellow-green.

She nodded. "But, what about you?" she asked inquisitively. He had been so hellbent on keeping her shut away at the estate, especially when he's sick, that she wondered if maybe he did have more of a heart than she anticipated.

"I can wait as long as you aren't too long." he said, his lips brushing against her neck as he spoke.

"I'd like to go." she admitted. Akito tried to stand up but found that he was too weak to so Kita let him lean on her as she directed him over to the futon. She gently laid his head on the pillow and pulled the covers up around him, kissing him on the cheek.

"Bring the lilies from your room." he told her. "Lilies are the flowers of the dead after all."

Kita nodded, tears still flowing thinking about him and when the time will come that she will put lilies on his grave.

"I will be back soon. I promise." she said forcefully as if she was determined to not let him die while she was gone.

Akito smiled, almost coyly.

"I know."


	25. The Martyr And The Savior

_**Author's Note:** So over here on the east coast of America the 14th Fruits Basket book just came out so now I have five dollars to my name. I need a job. I'm reading it as I'm doing this. I find it strange that when I watch the anime Ayame pisses me off but in the manga he makes me laugh like crazy. Go figure. And Kureno is on the cover and Kureno is yummy so I'm a happy girl._

_Okay, enough of me babbling. This chapter has more introductions of old characters. Enjoy!_

_Chapter 24_ (The Martyr and the Savior)

Kita lifted the hanger of her freshly cleaned and pressed school uniform off the hook behind her door, the scent of detergent and fabric softener wafting up to her nostrils and filling her with its floral aroma. Counting that day, she only had four full days of school left then a shortened day on Saturday that would probably be mostly a review, the day off Sunday, and then four days of exams before graduation. Four regular days of school left and then no more high school lessons ever again.

She hadn't exactly decided if she would miss high school. She would mostly miss getting to see Hoshiko and Raidon almost every day since she couldn't see them on the days off. And she would also miss the security of knowing what to expect every day since her future was still pretty undecided.

She had hid all the information about her college, the one she had decided on going to before her father died, underneath her mattress and in recent times she found herself frequently taking it out and gazing longingly at the brochures with their lush, green campus covered in studious-looking individuals racing off to their next class. How badly she longed to be one of them but how horrible she would feel to leave the main house! She hadn't exactly told the school to give her spot away to another student but she had pretty much lost hope regardless. The college was pretty far away from there and she wouldn't be able to live at Sohma house if she could go. One of the reasons she and her father had ended up selecting that school was because its distance would allow Kita to break out of her comfort zone and lower that barricade she puts up around strangers. So much for personal growth.

Kita pulled down her striped, cotton pajama pants and stepped into her dark-blue school skirt. The soft fabric rubbed against her legs and she wondered if that was a feeling she would miss, the pleats swishing back and forth against her thighs. Look at me getting nostalgic, she thought with a smile.

Just as Kita had finished positioning the skirt so that it was securely around her waist, the door opened and Kureno was standing there, typically dressed in his slacks and button-down shirt but holding an expression that said he had unsettling news.

"I could have been naked, you know." Kita said matter-of-factly. Kureno didn't seem to have considered that possibility.

"I'm sorry." he said with alacrity. "You aren't going to school today."

"But why..."

"Akito is sick. Probably sicker than he has ever been since you've started living here and he wants you to take the day off and care for him." Kureno told her, his deep, brown eyes telling her that Akito's afraid his time here is limited. Kita didn't need anything else to persuade her.

"Okay." she said quickly. "I just need a minute to change and I'll be right in."

"Good. I'll see you later." Kureno said as he pulled the door closed.

Kita quickly stripped herself of her tank top and school skirt and grabbed her purple yukata from her closet. He liked it when she wore the yukata and it was as comfortable as wearing a fleece blanket strung over her shoulders. She stumbled into the hallway and practically caused Akito's door to go off track as she flung it open and stepped inside, forgetting that she could have disrupted his rest. Sure enough, he was lying on the futon in the corner with his eyes closed so she assumed he was asleep. She walked over to the futon, barely letting her feet touch the surface of the floor as she approached him.

"Kita?" he mumbled as he opened his eyes which were bloodshot and marred with heavy dark circles. "Come lay by me."

Kita did as he requested and slid under the covers next to him. He coughed violently, the sound of congealed mucus being broken up filling the room. His breath was heavy and acidic with cold germs causing Kita to wince slightly at the feel of his burning breath on her shoulder. When he had finished his fit, Kita rubbed his back to try to sooth any pains that could have arisen as a result. Akito grew quiet.

"My back aches." he groaned, after they had been laying in silence together for a few minutes. Kita wasn't quite sure how to respond so she went with her helping instinct.

"D-do you want me to give you a...back...massage?" she asked nervously. The question sounded odd to her but she hoped it didn't to him.

"Yes." he said, as he turned onto his stomach eagerly. Kita got up and stood over him with one leg on each side of his small body and lowered herself down so that she was straddling his around his behind. She deliberately pulled his yukata off his shoulders and brought the fabric down so that it clung to his elbows and exposed most of his back to her. He shivered, even though he was right next to the heater.

Kita stared at his back in sad shock. She had never seen it so frail and cadaverous. The bones of his vertebrae protruded in a dangerous manner reminding Kita of a teaching skeleton from her old biology class. With one curious finger, she reached out and traced the little bones, the life beneath tangible through her thin-feeling skin. She bit her lip to keep from crying but found that it only made her eyes water more.

In a gentle, continuous motion she kneaded his back, starting at his shoulders and working down to the small. She lightly pushed down the material of his yukata so that his entire back was uncovered, her hands gracefully working right above where she was seated. Her knuckles knocked his bones, inducing him to twitch and she apologized fearful that she had hurt him. The last thing she wanted to do was cause him more pain. She watched her pink hands graze the soft white flesh, so delicate and translucent and then move back up to his shoulders again where her fingers touched his velvety, dark strands of hair.

It was strange how infatuated she had become with him. He had been everything for her since that night she had seen how much he loved her and she now knew that every thing he had done to her to hurt her was rooted in his own insecurities brought on by his curse and all its affiliating problems. Misunderstood. We are one in the same.

Kita leaned forward so that was she resting on top of him and kissed his back, her lips caressing his spine and savoring the feeling of his smooth flesh against her mouth as they made their way up to his neck and around to his ear. He sighed in delight.

In between ghostlike kisses on his ear, she purred softly, "I love you, Akito."

Exultant and surprised, Akito turned over onto his back and looked up at her to see her smiling down at him, tears staining her lower lashes. Whether they were of joy or sadness, he could not tell. She leaned down again and their lips locked in a passionate embrace, as her hands carefully undid the ties around his waist and slid his yukata from his elbows so that he was naked beneath her. She sat back onto his legs and his lips curled into his trademark smirk as his hands flew to her own robes and removed them slowly so he could take in every ounce of her that he hadn't seen in a while, leaving her in only a pair of light blue underwear. Her shiny, purple tresses had grown to be so long that as they fell in front of her, they concealed her breasts and made her resemble a mermaid that had just been granted with legs to walk the shore.

For a while Akito just looked at her, admiring her beauty and her purity in such a state. An angel. She was a wounded angel. And he had helped to make her whole again.

He took her hand into his and tugged it lightly, asking her to come down and join him on the futon. She complied, laying down on him and with renewed energy, he gently rolled her over so that he was on top of her. As his tongue explored the already shared secrets within her mouth, his hands glided her underwear off her legs.

I feel better already, Akito thought to himself smiling. What a good nurturer she is.

Kita woke up after napping for a few hours because her body was signaling to her that she needed to go to the bathroom. After their strenuous activities, she and Akito had fallen right to sleep. He was still sick so he was sleeping soundlessly beside her while she awoke feeling a bit more rejuvenated.

She slowly got out of Akito's grasp and stood up, stretching her arms to get the blood circulating and simultaneously looking around the room for her yukata. Akito had tossed it a lot further than she had initially thought as it was lying on top of the table on the other side of the room. She put on only the dark purple outer robe and clutched it tightly around her, not bothering to find something to tie it closed. She was just going to be going back to bed afterwards anyway.

As she finished up using the bathroom, she stood in front of the mirror and washed her hands, her robe revealingly falling open in front of her. She looked up and stared at the strange image that was her reflection. Eyes, same but gleaming with an unfamiliar emotion, hair, longer but the same, face, scarred, same as the rest of my body. She allowed her robe to slip off her shoulders to get a better look at her chest. Along her neck, shoulder, and collarbone she saw bruises and scratches from various punishments coexisting with what could only be described as 'love bites.' She ran her finger around a particularly large, violet bruise that lead to a scratch and ended on an oddly deep love bite. My body is a canvas of love and hate, she thought. Rage and lust. Affection and rancor.

She pulled her robe up and walked into her room finding a long, turquoise hair chopstick on her nightstand. She used it to put all of her hair into a tight, messy bun. Every time she put her hair up, Kita was reminded of one day after her mother had died. Her father took her out to a restaurant to cheer her up but she refused to smile so he had taken the chopsticks from the meal and stuck them in his hair. She had laughed and twisted her own around in her hair, making little knots. The people who worked there didn't really appreciate it but they couldn't have cared less.

She walked down the hall, still having to hold her robe closed, not quite sure what time it was but she was convinced that all the kids were still in school.

"Yo Kita." she heard a powerful but young voice say. She looked down and was surprised to see Hiro coming over to her. Most Sohmas wouldn't have expected her to know him since her mom died before he was born but they had gotten to know each other a couple years ago. Kita used to babysit for a kid who lived near her and, at the time, he and Hiro were good friends so he would come over often while she was watching him. The two had developed a sort of younger brother/older sister relationship, meaning that they didn't always get along famously but there was still love there.

"Oh, hello, Hiro. How are you?" she asked politely.

Hiro smiled like he had a secret. "Not as good as you."

"Huh?" Kita questioned, cocking her head to one side.

"Don't pretend to be all innocent. I'm twelve years old. I'm not stupid. Do you really think I don't know what you were doing in Akito's room? I mean, it's so obvious. I could hear you all the way down the hall when I came in an hour ago." Hiro said simpering. Kita turned fuchsia, absolutely mortified.

"H-Hiro, please don't tell a-anyone. I swear." Kita asked, now aware that she was trembling.

"Why? Are you embarrassed? Are you ashamed? Because you didn't seem ashamed at the time. You sounded pretty _happy_ at the time actually. Are you afraid of what people will think? Because it doesn't reflect well on someone if they do stuff like that before they get married. Will Akito punish you? Is he ashamed of it?" Kita had forgotten how much Hiro could drawl on and on. He would do well on a debate team.

"No. It's none of that. Just don't tell anyone." she said quickly, now feeling very exposed with only her thin, untied outer robe on.

Hiro's devious grin faltered when a chipper, childish voice entered the mix.

"Hi Kita! And Hiro too!" exclaimed Momiji, running up them. Hiro rolled his eyes.

"What are you doing here, Hiro?" Momiji asked, cheerfully.

"None of your business, rabbit." he snapped and turned away from him to look at, or more so to taunt, Kita with the threat of telling Momiji what he heard.

"Kita, guess what?" Momiji asked, with a little hop.

"I don't know. What?" she asked, subtly shaking her head at Hiro, pleading him not to say anything. He responded by continuing his sly smile and making targeted glances at Momiji.

"Tohru is here! She came to see Hatori and Yuki and Kyo are here too! Well, Kyo is actually sitting on a rooftop somewhere...but Tohru and Yuki are still here and I'd love for you to meet her!" he shouted, taking her wrist in his hand.

"Um, sure. Okay." Kita said realizing that she didn't have a choice since Momiji was dragging her towards the door.

"Yay! Kita's gonna meet Tohru!" he shouted. She looked behind her to see Hiro looking confused and a little crushed that his entertainment was leaving.

I bet Akito won't like this, Kita thought frightened. I hope he doesn't get mad. At least now I'll get to officially judge this girl. I want to know what makes her so special anyway.

"Kita, this is Tohru. And of course, you already know Yuki." Momiji said, standing on the steps of Hatori's house, above their heads, and grinning as he introduced the girls. "Tohru, this is Kita. She's a Sohma too."

"It's nice to meet you, Tohru." Kita said, bowing with a firm grip on her robe. The last thing she wanted was for her rode to go flying open.

"Oh, uh, it's nice to meet you too!" Tohru said quickly, bowing low. She had long brown hair, a young and ingenuous face, and was of a pretty short stature. She can't be any taller than 5'2" Kita thought to herself, who had to look down to her, being 5'4" herself.

"And it's good to see you again, Yuki. It's been a long time." Kita added, bowing to the timid, grey-haired boy standing a little behind Tohru. She and Yuki had always gotten along very well when they actually got the chance to talk together.

Yuki bowed back. "Yes, a lot seems to have happened to you recently. I'm very sorry about your father."

"Yeah." Kita mumbled, staring at the wet ground and her already damp boots.

Tohru's eyes stretched open. Apparently no one had told her that she would be meeting another orphaned girl.

"So where in this estate are you living, Kita?" Yuki asked. Apparently no one told him about her relationship with Akito.

"At the main house." Kita said quietly, never really ashamed of her residence until now. She could already picture Yuki's horrified reaction.

"With...Akito?" Tohru asked, looking very scared. Yuki's eyes had gotten wide in remembrance as Kita had predicted. She nodded.

"Oh." Tohru squealed. Yuki now had his back to them and his head down. Tohru didn't seem to know why he had gotten trepid and aloof so rapidly but Kita and Momiji knew all about his past with Akito, the beatings, the abuse, the little room he locked him in.

"Um, Tohru, why don't you and Kita take a walk and bond a bit?" Momiji suggested, thinking Yuki needed some time alone and they should have some time to get acquainted.

"Okay!" Tohru chirped. "Unless you don't want to! I wouldn't want to make you do something you don't want to do!"

"No. Uh, it's, uh, fine." Kita answered. She had stepped back a bit. This girl seemed way too eager to please.

"Great!" Momiji said, stepping aside to allow the girls to walk past him down the path. "Have fun!"

For the first few minutes of being alone together, neither of the girls said anything as they plodded through the quiet estate. What do you say to someone you just met, Kita wondered. This is why I'm so bad with new people. Once they were far from the others, Tohru spoke up. "What happened to your father? If you don't mind me asking of course."

"He died almost two months ago." Kita answered solemnly.

"I'm so sorry!" Tohru exclaimed.

"That's okay." Kita was getting sick of everyone saying that. She knew they were all sorry, not like they could have done anything to prevent it. All the sympathy in the world wouldn't bring him back from the dead.

"So why do you live here at the main house now?" The younger girl asked curiously.

"Well, my father and I lived away from Sohma house. My mom died when I was six and since I'm underage I needed somewhere new to live and Akito wanted me to live with him."

"But, Akito? Is he old enough to be your guardian?" Tohru asked. Kita stopped walking. It just dawned on her. Akito isn't twenty yet. He can't be my guardian now, she thought. Who is then? Hatori? Kureno? _Ren_?

"No, he's not." Kita answered briefly and dismissively.

"Oh." Tohru said, realizing that Kita didn't want to discuss her guardian anymore, whoever that happened to be. "Why did he want you to live with him?" she asked.

Kita sighed so quietly that Tohru couldn't hear her even though her cloud of breath was visible in the cold air. "He loves me." she said, insouciantly.

"Is he your...boyfriend?" Tohru asked, having to push out the last word. She had a hard time believing Akito would actually treat someone as an equal of himself or that he would embark on a relationship with someone who wasn't one of the juunishi.

"Uh, sure. Yeah." Kita answered dubiously. "Yes. Yes, he is." she answered more confidently.

Tohru smiled at her but she didn't return the gesture.

"My mom always used to say that there's someone out there for everyone. It's great you two have found each other!" she said happily.

Kita remembered that Momiji had said Tohru mentions her mom a lot. Doesn't she had her own opinions, Kita wondered. She was finding Tohru to be mildly annoying but friendly, kind of like Momiji.

"So you live at Shigure's house, huh? I've already heard about why...Does he try to peep on you?"

"No! Why would he do that?" Tohru asked ignorantly. She was a very naive girl in Kita's opinion if she couldn't even comprehend that Shigure can be very perverted, especially with the convenience of having a girl living in his house.

Kita shook her head. "Never mind. So are you and Yuki together?"

"Oh no. No." she said nervously, shaking her head.

"Okay, okay." Kita answered, wondering if her questions were too personal for her to answer comfortably. So that topic is also off-limits...

"So, you're going to help cure the Sohmas huh?" she asked, the question coming out of thin air and again surprising herself with her newfound direct speech. Tohru looked at the older girl, stunned.

"Oh, um, I w-wouldn't say that. I'm really not that special. I j-just wish I could help them." she said. Kita nodded, finding the answer to be modest enough for her to not dislike her, not that she really liked her either.

They had barely noticed that they had already arrived back at Hatori's. Yuki was still standing in front of the house but he was now stuck standing between Momiji and a very angry Kyo.

"Come on, damn rat! We have to go." Kyo shouted, waving his arms around like he was going to punch him if he didn't listen.

"Stupid cat, haven't you forgotten something?" Yuki retorted, folding his arms across his chest.

"Hi Kyo." Tohru said meekly, coming up behind him.

"Oh, hi Tohru." Kyo said, his voice softening significantly. His crimson eyes seemed to light up once he caught sight of her. Kita smiled a bit, noticing the obvious romantic tension between them. "And hi Kita. Where the hell have you been?" Kyo never really treated Kita like he did with most people because she always seemed so vulnerable and bashful that yelling at her seemed like such a brutal thing to do.

Kita shrugged. "Around."

"Now we can go." Yuki said, purposely stating the obvious in an almost condescending tone as revenge on Kyo for yelling at him. Kyo shot him a nasty glare in return.

"Bye Kita." Tohru said with her fair weather smile. Yuki and Kyo waved to her as the three left the estate to head back to Shigure's house.

"Bye guys." she said, waving.

"Bye Tohru! Bye Yuki! Bye Kyo!" Momiji added.

Once they were out of sight, he turned to Kita so quickly she thought the gust of wind he created would knock her off-balance. "Isn't Tohru great?" he asked hyper and enthusiastic.

"She's...something."


	26. Ode To Afflictions

_**Author's Note:** Yeah so, chapter 26 I kind of refer to as "The Lost Chapter" because I pretty much only wrote it because my friend wanted there to be another lemon and I had an idea for one. I'm still debating whether or not to post it or just skip it so if you could message me with your opinions, that would be very helpful. On with 25!_

_Chapter 25_ (Ode to Afflictions)

The thick crimson liquid slid down the fine, sharp teeth of the blade and collected cohesively at the pointed tip, dripping onto the wood floor every time there got to be such a massive amount that the forces weren't strong enough to hold each molecule together. The knife didn't feel as crisp as it used to as it was conducted over the papery, pallid skin. The incision was more rough and jagged than the normal clean, straight lines, as thus, packed more of a sting. But the sense of alleviation was still there. It still made for a great release.

Time for a tribute, he thought, bringing the knife back up to his inner arm, below his bluish veins, the scars from other times, and a few fresh ones. It had been a few weeks since he had done this. To this illness that refuses to go away. Cut. To all the Zodiac members who haven't come to see me: Yuki, Shigure, even Kureno is distant lately. Cut. To my bitch of a mother for most recently going after my Hatori. Cut. To my father, gone too soon just as is my fate. Cut. To Kita, lying on the wet ground with a gun to her head as the other mugger proclaims rape. I'd rather cut their throats. Cut. And another one for poor Kita, who loves me...

"Akito?"

The hushed sound of his name barely carried through the room once it left her lips; it just hung near the door like a dim paper lantern. Kita stood in the midst of the sound in her dark blue and white school uniform, her right arm holding the upper portion of her left arm in a very insecure way that said she was nervous.

"Damnit Kita!" Akito yelled, trying to hide the knife behind a large vase so she couldn't see it, even though he knew it was too late. Even if he hid the knife and his arm, she could still see the tiny drops of blood on the floor and the bleeding look in his eyes.

"I-I'm s-sorry." she said, on the verge of tears as her eyes traced the new unevenly cut lacerations below and on his wrist. It was strange how sloppy they were for such an experienced professional.

Once the knife was out of sight, Akito turned around and snarled at the frightened girl. She sank back against the door as he closed in on her, his loud footsteps reverberating around the interior of the room and causing a painting to fall off the wall. He grasped her shoulders so firmly that his fingernails dug into her flesh, bruising but not drawing blood thanks to the fabric between the nail and her skin.

"Next time, wait until I call for you." he spat out curtly. Kita nodded, her head shaking so violently she was afraid it would fall off her shoulders. She could have said something about missing him so much that she forgot to ask but she bit her tongue thinking that maybe this wasn't the time.

Akito loosened his grip and stepped away from her, tugging at the sleeve of his purple and black yukata. Blood seeped through the sleeve of the gray yukata underneath but the marks weren't yet noticeable on the external one because of its dark color. Kita tried to find a safe spot to look. His eyes were intimidating and the rest of him was heart-breaking. She stared at the fallen picture on the ground. It was simple calligraphy that had some sort of poem that she couldn't read from her focal point.

"I met Tohru Honda yesterday." Kita admitted into the maladroit silence, twirling her fingers in her hair anxiously.

Akito pursed his thin, chapped lips as if the news gave him a sudden pang of distaste and raised an inquiring eyebrow. "And?"

"And what?" she asked, still looking away from him. He put his hands on her cheeks and pulled her face up so that she was gazing directly at him. He didn't like it when she pretended not to see him. There were speckled traces of blood on his hands but Kita disregarded them.

"And what do you think of her?" he asked coldly. The imbrued sleeve brushed against her lower lip as he moved his hands away from her face, assuming she would keep it positioned there on her own.

What do I think of her, Kita pondered. Well, she's friendly but in an almost overbearing way. She's sweet but way too naive for someone of her age. She's eager to please but appears to have no consideration of herself to the point of absurdity. And on top of all that, she is a bit irritating, but in a Momiji kind of way: uncomfortable but tolerable.

"Um, well, she seems nice but kind of annoying," she said vaguely, hoping he wouldn't ask her to elaborate. She knew he didn't like her so she didn't exactly want to say anything too wonderful about her, but she didn't have the same loathing as him either.

"She is _rather_ intrusive." Akito scoffed, in a way that made it sound like he was making an understatement. "That _gorgon_ deserves to be put in her place. She thinks she is so special."

Actually, the fact that she doesn't seems to be a bit of a problem, Kita thought. Her overmodest attitude is mildly bothersome.

Akito stood with his back to her as if he was contemplating his hatred for Tohru while Kita quietly walked over to the table and sat down on the cushion, waiting for him to stop his silent cursing and voodoo to sit down with her. Something was bothering her. She had overheard his bloody salutes, which were probably not intended to be spoken, before she entered the room and there were two she was still wondering about: his mother and father. She had never heard Akito mention his father before and she had never heard him mention his mother without the word 'bitch' lingering somewhere in the same sentence or the one following it.

He finished brooding and sat down at the table across from her. He motioned to the white, ceramic teapot on the table as if to ask if she wanted any and she shook her head. He didn't pour any for himself either.

"Akito?" Kita said. He looked at her to show she had his attention. "What did your mother do to you exactly? I mean, when I met her, she was very condescending and seemed to live off the Sohma's wealth."

Akito clenched his fist. "She's always been jealous of me and my position. She's always despised and rejected me. She doesn't believe that the bond between God and the Zodiac is real and she takes great pleasure in trying to direct them away from me. Ever wonder why Shigure doesn't live at Sohma house anymore?" Kita nodded. "That horny dog couldn't resist participating in one of her attempts at pissing me off."

Kita's eyes widened. I can never look at Shigure the same way again, she thought to herself. "Was your father the same way?" she asked cautiously.

"No. He was the opposite." Akito said, making it sound like he didn't want to continue to describe how and why. He hung his head so that he was looking down at his arm. The blood stain had dried and it now looked like part of the design.

"Do you miss him?" Kita asked hesitantly.

Akito looked up into her compassionate green eyes and nodded emotionlessly.

Something we have in common, Kita thought. How did this never occur to me before?

She smiled sadly and, with an unsurely slow pace, she reached across the small table and slid her little hand into his red-flecked one. And, much to her surprise, instead of drawing back or using the gesture as a way to pull her into a compromising position, he just smiled back at her, too sick to do anything else.


	27. HotCold

_**Author's Note:** Recognizing reviewers who I have yet to recognize: Tori The Fanfic Fan, Jamie Snyder, and Blackdragonofdarknessflames. You make me smile._

_Yep, it's a lemon written per request from my perverted friends while I while still in the process of writing this story. I tried to at least put some intellectual thought into it. I probably failed. Read or not: I don't mind._

_Chapter 26_ (Hot/Cold)

Kita hates the rain. She hates it more than any other weather pattern. Rain is her lifetime foe. Rain is the culpable force behind the worst things that have happened to her. Her mother's death could partially be blamed on the rain because she probably wouldn't have transformed if she had only been sick and the weather was dry. Her father died on a rain-slicked pavement and they probably wouldn't have taken that route to the car if the weather had been agreeable. She was dripping wet from the rain when Hatori told her that Akito was going to die before the age of thirty. Rain is her arch nemesis. Rain is everything sad in her life.

She entered the main house like a recently brought back to life zombie, crippled walk, mussed hair, and, of course, head to toe soaked in that foul, freezing rain. As the balls of her feet pushed down on her shoes, more rainwater was squeezed out of their padded bottoms, drowning her feet in the pond-like confides of her footwear. Her violet hair clung to her face and neck allowing more drops to slid down her shirt and dampen her formally dry undergarments.

She kicked off her shoes and dropped her backpack, which had undergone similar torment after being exposed to the water of death. She trudged down the hall, her wet feet making high-pitched squeaks as they rubbed against the wood floor and the slapping sound of her drenched shirt hitting her back with every step being the sign that she was home. Hello, everyone!

"Oh, what have we here?" she heard a smooth voice ask. Akito stepped out from a side door, looking her up and down. "Kita's all wet." he observed. She noticed that he had stopped calling her 'little Kita' after what is now referred to as 'the Shigure incident.'

He stepped closer to her and put his long, bony hands on her waist. They felt so warm and inviting that Kita couldn't help closing her eyes. Usually, his hands were fairly cold but at this point, with icicles practically hanging from the tip of her nose, everything felt warmer than her.

"Why don't I help you get out of your wet clothes and warm you up?" he suggested pruriently, a wide smirk extending across his face. Kita knew it was a proposition. She would have had to be blind and deaf to not comprehend that and yet, she found herself nodding her head vigorously, begging him for it.

He moved one of his warm hands up to her face and placed an ardent kiss on her quivering lips. Kita let out a low groan as he heated her from the inside out. It was such a glorious assuagement that she couldn't help but want to draw more of his warmth from him but she resisted and didn't allow herself to touch him. He needed the warmth just as much as her. Maybe more. He was still sick after all.

She pulled away from his longing advances and walked into her room, whose door was right behind him. For a while he stood confused and angry, thinking she was leaving him, but when he turned around to question her, he saw her standing in the middle of the room like she was waiting for him. He closed his mouth and sauntered into the room, that lustful look in his eye returning as he approached the shivering girl.

Kita leaned forward, her lips puffed up a bit in preparation for that irresistible heat again but much to her disappointment, he didn't move. He simpered at her, enjoying how very desperate she was acting. Usually she had an almost come-what-may attitude towards his desires but today she seemed wanton, lascivious, more so than a few days ago when she had stayed home from school. No, this was different. This was much more intense.

Finally, after a minute of savoring her yearning for him, he wrapped his arms around her, rain be damned, and kissed her starting at her mouth and then moving to her neck as he fumbled with figuring out how to remove her uniform top.

Once he had successfully removed the top, he worked on sliding down her skirt as he kissed her stomach. Kita sighed as more of her damp attire was taken from her. It felt so comforting but she still didn't feel warm enough. Her fingers floated up to the hook at the front of her bra but he gently took them off it and unhooked it himself, licking the dip in her breastbone with his feverish forehead resting against her ribcage.

"I need...a shower." she said, dazed. She was feeling better but she needed hot water to really warm her up.

Without waiting for a response, she walked out of the room, not thinking about the fact that someone could see her practically naked, and went into the bathroom. She impulsively closed the door behind her and slid off her underwater as she turned the hot water faucet on and stepped underneath the steaming stream.

Akito confidently strode into the bathroom a little while behind her. By the time he had opened the door, she was already standing in the stall allowing the drops to raise her body temperature back to where it should rightfully be. He watched the tiny spheres trickle down her arched back, through her long hair, and over her pinkish legs. She leaned her head back to allow the water to caress her throat and drip down over her breasts and her stomach. Akito, now feeling fully stimulated, quickly stripped off his yukata and stepped into the stall behind her, pulling her back against his body, which now felt cold to her. Kita shuddered and stepped forward to pull him under the water and he smiled, the contained downpour drenching him too.

Kita could feel his erection pushing into her lower back as he kissed her neck, his mouth now the same temperature as the water. She turned around and kissed him roughly, molding her body to his and rubbing against him, causing a groan to emanate from his mouth, his hold on her growing limp.

I have power over him, Kita realized. Even though it may be only in this way and he doesn't even know it, I do have power over him.

Relishing in the moment, she pushed him back a bit so that he was standing against the wall. Slyly, Kita pulled away from him and placed a path of kisses down his protruding ribs and over his concave stomach until she was on her knees in front of him. Akito looked on in amazement as she ran her tongue along the underside of his hard-on. He moaned, frantically searching for something to hold onto as she touched the tip with her tongue, running it up and down. Remembering what happened last time they were in this situation and he tugged her hair, he looked for something else to hold, eventually deciding on a nearby towel rack.

She drew him into her mouth, now starting to understand the thrill associated with seeing your lover in such a state of bliss and torture.

"Kita...you...devil." Akito panted jokingly. Kita smiled and dragged her lips away in one long suck.

Once she stood up, Akito immediately grabbed her and pulled her into a powerful kiss.

"I...need...you." He said, through the side of his mouth.

He needs me, Kita thought. He loves me and he needs me. I wish I could be there for him all the time. Oh, I wish I could but there's no possible way. As much as he wants me to be devoted to him and only him forever, I don't know...

His hands moved down to cup her bottom and she stepped up onto the ledge of the bathtub so she was his height. He eased himself into her, creating a strange symphony of his out-of-breath pants and her pleasured cry. She wrapped her legs tightly around him as he pushed into her, her head being thrown back and their bodies rocking against each other as the water continued to pour down on their already slickly coated forms.

When they had both finished, Kita, legs still wound tightly around him, placed her chin on his shoulder and whispered almost comically into his ear, "It's ironic how you're the one to warm me when you're usually so cold."


	28. A Perfect Fit

_**Author's Note:** Important occurrence! And FYI, there are three more chapters and the epilogue after this. Right now I'm listening to old Jewel songs (something I kind of consider a guilty pleasure) and I forgotten how melancholy her songs were in the late nineties ("Adrian" "Painters" etc). Hopefully this chapter will spread a little cheer._

_Chapter 27_ (A Perfect Fit)

"Wake up, Kita! Come on! Wake up!"

Kita's arm flew to her face to cover her closed eyes. She had grown re-accustomed to waking up at a decent hour but she could feel from the throbbing migraine that this was by no means a decent hour. It felt like five in the morning. She moved her arm a little lower and felt the light pour into her eyes as her pupils constricted. Suddenly the light was blocked by the ever-smiling face of Shigure.

"Aya, she's up!" he announced over his shoulder.

"Oh, wonderful!" came the dramatic response. Kita moved her arm down a little further as Ayame stepped closer to the bed, long, silver hair flowing behind him.

"What're you doin' here?" Kita asked, her speech sounding something like that of someone who had knocked back a few.

"Kita, have you forgotten? It's White Day. I'm here to give you a present to pay you back for the delicious chocolates you gave me." Shigure said, producing a box from behind his back and putting it in her lap.

"But what's he doin' here?" Kita asked, pointing to Ayame realizing too late that she sounded annoyed by his presence even though she wasn't.

"Well, when Shigure had to find the ideal gift to give to you he had no choice but to come to me and rely on my expertise." Ayame said dramatically.

"He made it." Shigure clarified. "I guess in a way it's a present for you _and_ Akito." he added in a hushed voice with a wink.

Kita blushed as her eyes grew wide. Oh no. Please tell me it isn't some sort of uniform for a perverted fantasy, she thought to herself as she tentatively unwrapped the present and opened the box it was inside. She held her breath as she shifted through layers of white tissue paper until a gleam of blue cloth shown through. With careful hands, she lifted it from the box.

It was a nightgown, light blue silk with navy blue lace trim along the top. It had thin straps and looked like it would fall to her knee but had a slit up the thigh anyway. It was pretty: sexy but not revealing. Kita smiled at them.

"It's beautiful. Thank you." She gushed sincerely.

"You're welcome." Shigure answered with a grin.

"Now you can stop wearing those tank tops and, ugh, pajama bottoms." Ayame said.

"Hey, I like my tank tops and pajama bottoms, thank you very much!" Kita said, with mock offense. "But really, Ayame, you did an amazing job. And it's good to see you. It's been a while."

"Oh, don't thank only me, even though I do deserve an ample amount of praise for my fantastic design and sewing skills. It was partly Shigure's idea and Mine helped with the actual construction of it. Which, by the way, she was wondering if you were ever going to come by and visit again and I had to tell her that I haven't even seen you since that time Shigure brought you by the store two years ago!" He said, with his hand up to his forehead for effect.

"Well, if I come by is she going to treat me like a dress-up doll again?" Kita asked, remembering when she had been put in a maid's uniform the last time she went and then was forced to walk out in front of Ayame and Shigure.

"Oh, you know that she can't control her natural urge to dress up every cute girl she sees! But don't let that stop you from coming. It would be fun!" he insisted.

"If I get the chance, I certainly will." she assured him, knowing that getting the chance was a highly unlikely thing to hope for.

"Good."

"So Kita, when are you going to open your other presents?" Shigure asked.

Kita furrowed her brows. "What other presents?"

Shigure and Ayame stepped away from each other as if they had rehearsed it, to reveal two gifts placed on the floor so that she would see them when she woke up. Kita got out of bed and went over to them to get a better look. One was a wrapped rectangular box and the other was a basket of fruit, wrapped in plastic. She reached for the basket first to see that it was from Hatori with a message saying that she was probably going to get a lot of chocolate so she should have some healthy snacks too. She chuckled and then grabbed the box. The card on top read, "Kita, I thought you could use a new pair and these seemed like a perfect fit for you. -Kureno."

She tore off the paper and lifted the lid to see a pair of slippers nestled on a cushion of tissue paper. They were her size, unlike the ones she usually had to wear, and they were the same shade of purple as her yukata. On the top of each shoe was a white, embroidered dove like the ones that frequently seek company with her and Akito.

"Who are those from?" Shigure asked, pointing to the slippers.

"Kureno." she said, trying them on to see that they did indeed fit nicely. He must have looked at my shoes' labels, she thought.

"Oh." he said, surprised that Kureno had actually made a friend. "And I saw the fruit basket was from Hari. Really playing the doctor card it seems." he said, laughing at his own joke. "Well, Aya and I must be off. You need to get ready for school."

Kita groaned, the fact just dawning on her. At least, today is the last real day of high school. And it's a shortened day too, she thought gleefully.

"It's my last day before exams." she said, matter-of-factly.

"That's marvelous!" Ayame said.

"Yeah." Kita repiled apathetically. She wasn't really sure how marvelous it was. No more seeing Hoshiko and Raidon. No more safety of knowing what will happen every day. What am I going to do? What will happen if I don't go to college? If I stay here, what will my life be then?

"Kita? Hello?" Shigure said, waving his hand in front of her face. "You were spacing out."

"I'm just a bit stressed." she said, shrugging it off. "I see you guys later. Shigure, say hi to everyone at your house for me. Ayame, say hi to Mine for me. And tell her I think she should marry you."

"Of course I will!" Ayame said, winking.

"Bye Kita."

---------------------------------

"Here, Kita. Here, Hoshi." Raidon said casually, handing them each a box of chocolates.

"Thank you Rai." They both said, practically in unison. Kita ate one of the candies which turned out to be a peppermint one. Hoshi put her box on her desk and glared at it. She was on a diet, even though she had no weight to lose, and she was considering all sweet-tasting things to be her enemies. Chocolate in particular was one of her more tempting opponents.

"You're welcome." he said, smiling. "So Kita, are we going to see you at graduation?" he asked, raising an eyebrow, his friendly temperament instantly less cordial.

Kita gave him a bewildered look. "I don't know why you wouldn't." she said slowly. He was hinting at something but she couldn't quite figure out what.

"Oh good! I was sure you would be too busy being at Sohma house to come!" he said sharply.

Kita knitted her brows. "What's wrong with you?" she asked.

Raidon sighed. "Oh nothing. I have no problem with the fact that one of my best friends has vanished into oblivion to leave us wondering if she will ever want to spend time with us again."

Kita's mouth dropped open. Raidon hardly ever got pissed off. He usually had a very calm demeanor redolent of Hatori. She looked over at Hoshi, who stared down at her shoes guiltily. "Rai, I've wanted to go out with you and Hoshi, it's just that..." her voice trailed off when she realized she wasn't sure what excuse she could use to end the sentence.

Raidon's face softened and he put his hand on her shoulder. "Kita,...the Sohmas...do they...hurt...you?" he asked. He had seen the bruises and scratches. He didn't believe her story about piercing her lip. She wasn't the type to get a pierced lip and, if she did, she was too smart to try to do it herself. It all seemed so suspicious.

"No." she said quickly. It was only kind of a lie in her mind. She hadn't been beaten in a long time. Definitely not since she last went out with them. "If I tell you, will you promise not to say anything?"

Raidon and Hoshiko nodded, curiously.

Kita took a deep breath to work up the nerve. "You know Akito? My...boyfriend?" The word still didn't sound accurate when connected with him. "Well, he's very sick, deathly sick, in fact, and I like to be there for him when he needs me because he isn't going to live long enough to see the age of thirty." She paused to take in their relatively skeptical expressions. "I promise... I'm not lying." She said seriously.

Hoshi's hand went flying up to cover her mouth in shock. Raidon's eyes widened.

"Oh, Kita." Hoshi cried, running over to her and giving her a hug.

"I'm sorry." Raidon said, now feeling like he deserved a public stoning. "And I'm sorry for being so malevolent towards you. I should have acknowledged that you would probably have a respectable reason for not being able to be with us."

Hoshi nudged him as a sign to join them and he hugged the girls, forming a tight group that couldn't be broken by anything.

"It will be okay, Kita." Hoshi murmured, sounding a bit weepy, almost like she was taking on Kita's pain for her.

"I know. One day everything will work out."

-------------------------------

"Kita, guess what?" Momiji exclaimed, as they walked, or in his case, skipped, down the road towards Sohma house.

"What?"

"I got you some candy!" he shouted, thrusting a box into her hands. "Haru got you some too."

"Ruin the surprise, Momiji." he said, joking as he handed her some chocolates too.

"Thank you so much, guys." Kita said, grinning as she cradled her treasures. "Are you coming to graduation?"

"Of course!" Momiji said, throwing his hands up in the air.

"Sure. Why not?" Haru answered.

Kita laughed as she pulled open the door to the Sohma estate, holding both boxes in her left arm. "Great. I'll see you there then. It's the day after finals are over, Friday at six."

"Okay, bye!" Momiji yelled. Haru gave his usual wave and the two younger boys walked off to their homes.

Kita entered the main house, arms full of confectionary treats, and walked off to her room, feeling a bit worn out. She put the boxes of candy on her nightstand and fell onto her bed, her head hitting something that had been placed on her pillow. It made a hard, hollow sound on impact so she assumed it was a container of some sort. She sat up and looked down at the pillow to see a small, navy blue velvet box placed there. Someone got her jewelry. It must be Akito, she thought. He's the only one who didn't give me a present yet. Judging by the size of the box, it's probably earrings.

She flicked up the lid and stared, stunned at what the box was harboring. It was a ring: large diamond in the middle, an amethyst on each side, and a silver, or is it platinum, band. An engagement ring. A very beautiful, very expensive engagement ring.

With trembling fingers she lifted the ring from its case, not being able to resist the urge to slip it onto her finger. A perfect fit. How it fit perfectly was a mystery. It's not like Kureno's slippers where he could have easily looked at her shoe labels to see what size she was. This was her finger. She didn't even have any rings to compare it to.

She held her hand out in front of her face to admire the way it looked on her finger. The light trapped in the diamond projected all the colors of the rainbow like a prism. Exquisite cut, transparently clear, and absolutely breathtaking.

Is this his way of proposing, or re-proposing as the case is? She wondered. Does he want an answer? Is it a _demand_?

With her right hand, she went to take the ring off but found herself stopping, putting her hand down and laying back down on her bed, left hand still outstretched in front of her.

What now, she thought. As if I wasn't already having a hard time deciding what to do after graduation, he just made it that much harder.


	29. Love Is Watching Someone Die

_**Author's Note:** And here's were things get interesting... I am not a benevolent God._

_Chapter 28_ (Love Is Watching Someone Die)

Kita clutched her schoolbooks tightly against her chest so that they wouldn't fall out of her arms as she maneuvered her foot to push aside Akito's door. It was Sunday, her last day before exams, so she had begrudgingly accepted the fact that she would have to spend the day studying regardless of whatever activities Akito had in mind. It was certainly a preternatural event that he didn't ask her to see him yesterday, especially since it was White Day and he had stealthily slipped her an engagement ring, of all things, as a present. With the exception of a few days ago, he had been perpetually ill, yesterday included, but he still didn't ask to see her. Kita had concluded that it was because he wanted her to think over the proposal on her own.

The ring was still on her finger in all of its extravagant resplendence as she kicked at the door. She had gone to sleep still wearing it and when Kureno told her that Akito was ready to see her, she considered taking it off so he wouldn't assume she was saying yes but she just couldn't do it. Now, with the stack of books in her arms, the ring's band was pressing into her skin, sure to leave a mark. The skin around it filled with blood and turned red, cutting off her circulation, as she continued to slide the door aside with her foot. She heard a brutal cough come from within and felt her heart sink. It finally opened the whole way and she stepped inside, immediately placing the books on the ground and rubbing her sore finger.

Akito was lying on the ground, drumming his fingers on the hardwood floor in boredom. He looked over his shoulder at her and she quickly hid her hands behind her back. His cold, dark eyes scanned her, starting at the top of her head and ending on the pile of books on the floor. He raised his eyebrows in question.

"I have finals all next week." she told him, picking up the books again, careful to conceal her left hand. "I'm sorry. I really have to study today."

She sat down next to him and pulled her calculus book into her lap. Her first exam was her worst subject but at least that meant she would get it over with right away. She put her left hand under the book and in between her legs so he couldn't see it.

As she silently read about derivatives and functions, Akito sat up and leaned against her, languidly resting his head on her shoulder. He was feeling worse than he ever had. The room was spinning rapidly as it simultaneously began to slowly tilt on its side like a wobbly carousel. He put his arm around Kita for stability but she merely looked at him, smiled, and went back to reading.

Akito closed his eyes to try to slow the movement and found that it helped slightly. Wasn't there something I needed to talk to Kita about, he vaguely recalled. Why didn't she come and see me yesterday? I remember feeling really sick. She should have been there to take care of me... The ring. I gave her the ring yesterday and I wanted her to think it over. She hasn't mentioned it yet. Where's her hand?

Now pushing most of his weight on her, which really wasn't that much, he reached over and ran his hand down her left arm. Kita's back stiffened as he tugged on the arm so that her lifeless hand was drawn up from its hiding place and landed on top of her calculus book, ring and all. He gently took her fingers into his hand to angle them upwards so he could admire the sparkling ring displayed on them. He simpered at her and she gave him a weak smile back because she really didn't know if she was saying yes or not.

Akito's grasp on her hand faltered suddenly and her fingers slipped away from his chilly, bony hand. His eyes started to close slowly as he fell backward and hit the floor with a loud thud. Kita threw her book down and rushed to his side.

"Akito? Akito!" she said, tapping his shoulders, afraid to move him in case he really hurt himself during the fall. He didn't respond but appeared to still be conscious and breathing, even though the breaths were very short and sparse.

"Kureno! Kureno! Kureno, come here! There's something wrong with Akito! He fainted or something! Call Hatori! Call the hospital!" she shouted. Kureno ran down the hall, his cell phone already out and pressed against his ear.

"Yes...okay. I'll see you there." Kureno said, closing his phone and running into Akito's room. Without skipping a beat, he scooped up the scrawny, ailing man and started running for the door with Kita alongside. "Kita, we're taking him to the hospital. Hatori is going to meet us there. For now, I need you to sit in the backseat with him in case something happens." Kureno blurted out as they left the main house and went towards Kureno's car, or at least a car that they could use.

"Like what?" Kita asked, terrified.

"I don't know. He's been sicker than ever this past week so anything could happen."

Kita started shaking as she sat down in the back of the car and Akito was placed with his head in her lap. She started stroking his soft hair in an effort to calm herself. Not now, she thought. Please don't leave now.

---------------------------------

"Here" Kureno said, handing Kita her calculus book that she hadn't even noticed him pick up when he went to get Akito. "Even though you're under a lot of stress, you need to study."

"How is he?" she asked nervously, setting the book down on the table in front of her. The waiting room they were in was the exact same one she was in when her father was there. She even sat in the same chair without thinking about it. Same scratchy, cheap fabric covering the furniture. Same coffee table with outdated magazines covering every square inch. Same tilted tree in the corner. It looked healthier though: more green, less brown. The staff had finally started watering it.

Kureno sighed and sat down in the chair next to her, the one the nurse had sat in to tell Kita that her father was dead. "He's in intensive care. He stopped breathing."

Kita shivered. "Is he going to be okay?" she asked, concerned.

Kureno stared down at his hands. "They don't know. Even if he starts breathing on his own again, they said he'll have to stay here at least three days before they can release him."

Kita nodded.

"Are _you_ going to be okay?" he asked, looking over at her. His expression was so sincere, Kita thought she was going to cry.

"Yes." she said, impulsively. Why do I always lie, she thought, now angry with herself. "No. No, I'm not going to be okay. I won't be okay until I know he's going to be okay."

"That's reasonable." Kureno said, trying to soothe her. "Do you want me to help you with that?" he asked, pointing at the calculus book. "Math was one of my better subjects in school."

Kita nodded and opened up the book to where she last left off, trying to lose herself in the numbers but finding that the reality of life was no longer avoidable whether or not she was with Akito.


	30. Sinners At The Mercy Of An Angry Goddess

_**Author's Note:** This is where Kita's personality change becomes more obvious and she becomes my best friend but if Kita were a real person, I'd probably try to befriend her and she'd probably be afraid of me. After this: one more chapter and the epilogue._

_Chapter 29_ (Sinners At The Mercy Of An Angry Goddess)

Kita woke up in a pitch-black room feeling smooth cotton against her cheek. Her legs were resting across two plastic chairs with cold metal frames that, while sleeping, she would accidently rub with her ankles every so often and then flinch from the chill. She was aware of all of her body except her head. Other than the smooth cotton, she could also feel a distinct dip where her head was placed, separating two masses. I'm lying on someone's legs, she realized.

"Akito?" she murmured into the dark as she lifted her head up and allowed her eyes to adjust. Brown slacks. She was lying on legs encased in a pair of brown slacks. She looked upward and saw the barely visible face of Kureno, sitting up asleep with his head resting on his shoulder.

She glanced to her left and saw Akito laying motionlessly on the hospital bed, hooked up to a heart rate machine. The liquid crystal display showed a constant but weak heartbeat. He had been moved out of intensive care but he had been virtually dead since they had done it. Hatori tried to convince the doctors that it was too soon but they seemed more concerned with giving the room to someone else than making sure to take the extra precautions for him.

It was early in the morning, two o'clock according the barely visible clock on the wall, and Kita still had two more days of her last three exams before graduation. She was starting to wonder if she had studied enough because she could barely concentrate over the past few days, yesterday in particular. All the events started to line themselves up in chronological order as she reflected on yesterday...

After two grueling and lengthy exams, physics and history, she went to the main house to change out of her school uniform and then hitched a ride to the hospital with Hatori. Kureno was already there when they arrived, sitting in the same chair as yesterday and pondering a bird-watching magazine with a confused expression. While Hatori went to discuss medical procedures with Akito's doctor, Kita had sat in the waiting room with Kureno.

She had her English book in front of her but she couldn't comprehend a word of it. She had never had trouble in the class, it was one of her better subjects, she just couldn't focus on anything when the outcome of Akito's condition remained yet to be determined. As she gazed at the book the words and characters started to go out of focus and blur until all she could see on the page was a gray smudge on the white paper. Instead of trying to read, she sat twirling her engagement ring around on her finger, her new substitute for twirling her hair. Both Kureno and Hatori had noticed the ring but neither of them decided to ask about it, thinking that she probably wasn't in the right mental state to discuss the idea of marrying Akito.

"Excuse me?" a matronly voice addressed Kita. She looked up from her book and saw a woman dressed in pink scrubs with short, black graying hair, amber eyes, and a warm, maternalistic quality about her. It was the nurse who had cared for her father.

"Yes?" Kita asked, wondering if of all coincidences, this woman was also Akito's nurse.

"Aren't you that poor girl who was in here for her father two months ago?" the women asked.

"Yeah, that was me." Kita said, somberly.

"Oh no! Why are you back here again, hun?" she asked, putting her hand on Kita's shoulder. She winced in a minor shoulder undulation. The comfort from strangers thing still made her a bit uncomfortable but this women seemed to think they did have something since she had, after all, cared for her father in his dying hour.

"My...fiancé." she said, holding up her ringed finger as proof. Kureno raised his eyebrows. Well, there's the answer.

"Oh, dear. I wish him the best." the nurse said, patting her shoulder. That unfortunate girl. Never have I met a girl who has gone through so many tragedies in such a short period of time, she thought.

"Thank you." Kita answered, looking down at her navy blue flats in embarrassment. It's not often that a stranger feels that sorry for you.

The nurse walked away to attend to a patient and Kita decided to study the not-so-intricately laid floor tiles. With her sense of sight barely functioning, her sense of hearing was heightened and she was instantly tuned in to an oddly familiar voice talking around the corner.

"Listen, I don't care about the intricacies of his ailment. I just came here to find out if he's dying or not. Okay? Can you tell me that much? I'm his fucking mother, after all!" That cold, condescending, women's voice.

Kita stood up and stormed out the waiting room door towards the nurse's station with Kureno following behind her. Sure enough, standing in front of the desk with long, black hair, a way too low black dress, and a frightening stare was Ren. Hatori was standing next to her trying to get her to calm down.

"What are you doing here?" Kita demanded. Ren turned around.

"Oh, hello, Kita. That's a beautiful ring you have there." she said, grinning malevolently at her, no longer acting uptight.

"What are you doing here?" Kita repeated, filling with anger just thinking about what she did to Akito. Not to mention the fact that Akito had told her stories about how Ren used to loathe Mina for her nearly perfect life and made New Years hell for her which explained why she had found such displeasure in noticing that Kita had the same eyes as her mother. Kita is rarely ever angry, certainly never angry enough to yell or resort to physical violence, but she found herself clenching her fists tightly and imagining herself wiping that smile off Akito's mother's face with a solid punch in the nose.

"Oh calm down, Kita. I've just come to see if my son is dead yet." she said, as if she was praying for his death every night. "It shouldn't be too much longer now." she said, cheerfully.

"You bitch!" Kita shouted, as she stormed towards the women with her arm swung back with the intention of punching her. Before she could release her fist on her, Kureno grabbed her arms and pulled them behind her back. "What kind of a fucking mother are you! You _deserve_ to be the one in the hospital! Let me go, Kureno!" she said kicking her feet around as he lifted her off the ground in total shock at her outburst.

Hatori turned to Ren. "Here, I think you should go." he said calmly.

"Fine." she said sharply, shaking her head as he directed her towards the elevators. Kita was still yelling at her as she left and the nurses started to give her and Kureno dirty looks because she was disrupting the patients.

Kureno, still holding Kita off the ground, carried her into Akito's room, hoping that if they were in his room, she would be quiet to avoid disturbing him.

"Kita, relax." he told her, as he set her feet down on the ground, her body still trembling with rage. Kita's eyes fell on Akito's frail, lifeless form in the hospital bed and had an instant breakdown. Overcome with the image, she fell forward and cried uncontrollably into the Kureno's shirt. He wrapped his arms around her in a friendly, comforting embrace as she wept over her sickly fiancé.

"It will be okay." he told her. "They wouldn't have moved him if they didn't think he would recover."

"I...hope...so..." Kita said mumbled, through broken cries.

Kita and Kureno spent the rest of the evening in Akito's room talking, while Kita made another feeble attempt at studying. They then proceeded to fall asleep in the chairs they had been sitting in until Kita woke up early that morning.

She stood up and slowly approached Akito's bed. He looked much smaller than he ever had as he laid between the stiff white sheets. Kita reached out and ran her fingers through his messy hair, her already scintillating ring and his velvety hair catching the moonlight coming in through the window giving the entire bed a celestial glow. Akito stirred, turning his head in the direction that her hand was stroking his hair.

"Akito?" she asked, kneeling down beside the bed.

"Kita.." he responded weakly, opening his eyes.

"Yes, I'm here." she said, taking his hand into hers. He had a heart rate monitor on his index finger.

He made some nondescript, gratified noise, something like "Mmm," and closed his eyes again. Kita rubbed his hand in hers to try to warm it. He was cold as ice even though he must have had at least four blankets on him and his skin felt loose on his bones, like that of a wrinkled, elderly man. His body was so pale, it almost had a bluish tint to it.

"Akito?"

"Mm?" he answered, opening his eyes halfway as if it was an insurmountable challenge to open them the entire way.

"I love you and I want you to know that no matter what happens I will still love you." she said seriously, placing a kiss on the back of his hand. He smiled sleepily and shakingly reached out to touched her long, violet hair.

"I know." he said simply. "I love you, Kita."

Kita tightened her lips as she felt a cry coming. She instinctively changed the topic. "I bitched out Ren today." she said quickly.

Akito smiled, his normal twisted smirk, surprised that she had acted so capriciously. "I hope you got her good."

Kita nodded and tried to smile back.

As Akito drifted off the sleep again, Kita started to feel horribly guilty for considering leaving him to go to the university. Until that point, she had always considered running away to be an option, albeit a dangerous one, but now, with the ring on her finger and his lack of health, she felt tied to him. She felt like she had a responsibility to him. But she would love him no matter where she was, and isn't that all that matters?

Kita laid her head down on the hospital bed, her hand still wrapped around his, and allowed herself to sleep. I'll worry later, she thought. But I don't have much time left to decide.


	31. Catharsis

_**Author's Note:** Ta-da! The last chapter! But don't fret too much. It's not the end. There is still the epilogue. Two hints to the ending: I don't believe in happy endings. However, I also don't believe in ending a story predictably. Think about it._

_Chapter 30 _(Catharsis)

"Sohma Kita." the principal read from his podium, his monotonous voice amplified by the sound system with its speakers placed strategically around the fields so everyone could hear.

Kita ascended the stairs of the platform, set up on the lawn for the outside ceremony. She gave a quick glance into the audience past the many weepy parents until she saw her crew clapping loudly. Shigure, Kureno, Haru, and Momiji had come to witness this monumental event. Hatori had wanted to go also but someone had to stay with Akito at the hospital and he took that position so Kureno could go instead. Kita couldn't help but laugh when she caught sight of Momiji standing on his chair cheering while Haru tried to coax him down.

She then glanced at her classmates, most of whom were simply clapping politely as they did for everyone else. Raidon and Hoshiko on the other hand were cheering like Momiji and irritating everyone sitting in the near vicinity.

Kita smiled at both groups and walked proudly across the stage to shake the many hands of the various contributors to her education and to finally acquire that all-important piece of paper that certified her completion of high school. Once her hands touched her diploma, however, she felt something was missing. She wasn't filled with a great sense of accomplishment and especially not a sense of freedom. She was still trapped in her mental and physical cage. But she was certainly working her way out of the mental one. The physical one however..

When the ceremony was over, the students left their seats to go find their parents or, in Kita's case, their family. Hoshiko and Raidon went with her since Hoshi's mom, who had actually taken time off of work to be there, was deep in conversation with Rai's parents and they decided not to interrupt them.

"Stand together you three. I'm going to take a picture." said Shigure, walking over to them and pulling out Kita's digital camera that she had told him to use during the ceremony. They all held up their diplomas and, in Raidon's case, an award for graduating with the second highest marks in the class that he acquired due to his neurotic parents, and grinned like it was the best day of their lives.

Shigure pushed the shutter button down and then handed the camera to Kita who brought it up on the little display screen.

"I'm going to want a copy of that one." Raidon said as they all viewed the picture.

"Me too!" exclaimed Hoshi, snatching the camera away from her to get a better look.

"We'll give you guys some time to say good-bye." Hatsuharu said smiling. He motioned to the rest of them to leave. Kita had already told them that she planned on walking back to the hospital by herself anyway.

Once the Sohmas had gotten out of earshot, Hoshi pulled both Kita and Raidon into a suffocating hug only acceptable among the closest of friends.

"Now don't you two forget me when you're off studying your brains out! Come and see me on your vacations and such, okay?" Hoshi said, giving Kita her camera back.

"Yes, we will. We'll all spend time together." Rai said. "Right, Kita?"

"Yes, of course." she answered, surprising herself with how confident she sounded.

"Okay, good." Hoshi declared, as tears started to pour from her honey eyes. "Call often. I will be calling you two whenever I'm bored." She looked over Kita's shoulder and saw her mom tapping her foot impatiently. "I have to go now. My mom looks pretty pissed that I didn't come sooner. Bye guys. I love you!"

"Bye." Rai and Kita said, waving to her as she walked across the field.

"Well Rai, I must be off too." Kita announced, swinging her arms back and forth.

"Alright. See you, Kita." Raidon said smiling.

"Bye." she said, waving as she calmly walked away, not a single tear falling because she knew she would see them, probably even sooner than she expected.

She walked down the well-known street, a peculiar sight in her uniform with the pleats swishing around her thighs. Yes, I will miss this feeling, she concluded. The last time I'll wear this uniform, the last time I'll go to that school, and the last time I'll know the safety of routine.

She took the same path she had taken many times with Hatsuharu and Momiji when they would share stories and make each other laugh. That same path however, did not lead to the hospital. It led to the main house.

She pushed open the door to the Sohma gates and started walking 'home', not really paying attention to her surroundings which she instantly knew was a bad idea when she heard a little girl squeal in pain.

Kita looked down in front of her to see a girl of about twelve or thirteen with rusty, orange-colored hair and big yellow-orange eyes.

"Oh, I'm sorry!" Kita said, bending down to meet her eye. "Are you hurt?" she asked.

"No." a pitiful, quiet voice answered. The girl looked down at the ground like she was embarrassed to get bumped into and for once, Kita didn't run away embarrassed even if she did feel stupid and careless.

"Okay. Uh, good." Kita said, eyeing the girl. The girl's hair was familiar to Kita somehow. That odd color...her mother! Her mother had the exact same hair color as this girl! "What is your name?" she asked curiously.

"Kisa!" someone shouted from behind them. They turned around and saw Hiro running towards them.

"Hello, Hiro." Kisa said shyly as the boy stood next to her protectively. So this is his little girlfriend, Kita thought to herself.

Kita smiled at her. "You know what, Kisa? My mother was the tiger before you. She had the same pretty hair as you too."

Kisa smiled and Hiro slipped his hand into hers.

"You two have fun." Kita said, walking towards the main house. Behind her she could hear Kisa say, "I like her. She's nice," and Hiro respond with, "Yeah. I guess she can be cool sometimes."

She entered the main house, almost in awe of the vacancy. None of the servants were on duty and the usual characters who frequently strolled in and out throughout the day were all at the hospital, awaiting Akito's discharge that evening at nine.

She walked down the hallway and entered her room, her supposedly temporary room. Wasting no time, she pulled her suitcase from under her bed and started filling it with her things: her books, her CDs, her movies, her clothes. She even took the yukata, the kimono, and the black corset dress she never got a chance to wear from her closet and packed them too. When she had packed everything, she realized that she was leaving with a lot more than she came with. Her suitcase was practically bursting at the seams but when she had arrived, it was only about halfway full.

She left behind all the books and bedding that were already there before she moved in. She never got clarification on whether or not they actually belonged to her so it didn't feel right to take them. Then as her final act in the main house, she picked up a piece of paper and a pen and scribbled a note, now very aware of the clacking sound of the band of her engagement ring hitting the pen as she wrote. She folded the note in half and put it next to the vase of tiger lilies so that it was conspicuous to anyone who entered.

As she took a last look around the room, she felt tears run down her cheeks. It's for the best, she told herself. I have to do it or I will probably regret it for the rest of my life.

-------------------------------

Akito got out of Hatori's car and stormed up the steps of the main house. Where the hell is Kita, he thought, as he walked down the hall.

"Kita!" he shouted forcefully. No answer.

He opened the door to her room and stopped dead in his tracks. The room was empty, absent of all of her belongings. All that remained were the furniture, a few books, and the vase of flowers. Shocked and angry, he entered the room, taking in all the blank spaces in her bookshelf, the lack of personality, the shear emptiness of what was once Kita's place in his house.

Then he saw the note, folded in half with his name on the outside. He picked it up and read it slowly, taking in every word as if he was slowly having daggers pushed into him.

When he finished, he tossed the paper away, picked up the blue mosaic vase and, with a barbaric sound of anger, smashed it on the ground spending shards of glass all over the floor, a few of which cut into his foot, adding blood to the equation. The water in the vase trickled down the wood panels, eventually touching a side of the note, causing the ink to smudge. Akito stepped on the tiger lilies, coating them with blood and crushing them against the ground until all the petals had been torn off and squished into a creamy pulp, creating a macabre mess befitting of his emotions.

And with that, he retired to his room for a little meeting with his long-time friend/enemy, the hidden knife.

The crimson water continued to destroy the note, until Kita's last words were completely gone, never to be seen by another person.

_Dear Akito,_

_Although you will inevitably disagree with me on my decision, I have decided to leave Sohma house in favor of attending a university. I did not propose the idea to you because I knew you would say no and use every resource in your power to prevent me from doing so. But this is just something I must do._

_You probably hate me by now and you can tell everyone else whatever you want about why I'm gone. I don't care. Just don't think that because I have left, I no longer have feelings for you. On the contrary, I love you more than I ever thought possible and I will continue to love you, even in my absence. I'm so sorry that I left you and the thought is terrifying to me that you may die before I get a chance to tell you so face-to-face. I know I'm asking a lot, but please try to understand._

_- Kita_


	32. Epilogue

_**Author's Note:** So since this is the end, I have a soundtrack for you. I recommend that you look up the lyrics or give a listen to some of them. I ended up with three Hole songs. I was going to put "Northern Star" on too but thought four Hole songs are too many. I also considered "Only Ashes" and "You're Gone" by Something Corporate. They are in order by where they fit._

"Miss World" by Hole (Kita's feelings of sadness and independence)

"This Time Imperfect" by AFI ("I cannot stay here, I cannot leave...")

"A Pain That I'm Used To" by Depeche Mode (The title explains all.)

"Carve Your Heart Out Yourself" by Dashboard Confessional ("Hopelessness is your cell...")

"Strangelove" by Depeche Mode (When Akito tells her he loves her)

"Polly" by Nirvana (The rape)

"Petals" by Hole ("Tear the petals off of you and make you tell the truth..")

"Verse Chorus Verse" by Nirvana (For when Kita wonders if pain is better than nothing)

"Wonderwall" by Oasis (Akito's scars)

"You've Got Her In Your Pocket" by The White Stripes (After he gives her the jewelry box)

"My Reply" by The Ataris (Akito's sickness)

"What Sarah Said" by Death Cab For Cutie (Two chapters were named from lines in this one)

"Mairead" by The Von Bondies (Akito's thoughts on her leaving)

"Love Song" by The Cure (Kita's thoughts on leaving)

"Dying" by Hole (You shall see...)

"Happy Home" by Garbage (You shall see...)

_Epilogue_

As she drove down the familiar road, Kita started to realize just how nervous she really was. Her grip on the steering wheel had already faltered twice since she had turned onto the street and her palms were covered in her own cold sweat that had been accumulating on the leather grip since she first began the odyssey.

She glanced quickly at her shotgun rider, a bouquet of lilies of various colors, purchased in the event that there was a new tomb in the Sohma family's graveyard to put them on. Kita shuddered and pulled her car over, shifting it into park and extracting the key quickly so that she wouldn't have the opportunity to change her mind and drive off. Taking out the key was her final decision to go through with it.

She gazed up at the wall that ostracized the Sohma estate from the rest of the world and, for the first time in a long time, felt minuscule and insignificant. She hadn't even so much as seen the property in over four months. Back then she was a resident of the main house. Back then she was a high school girl without a license or a clue of how she'd escape the prison of a house to go to a university. Back then she was skinny as a rail and had hair that almost fell to her hips. Back then she belonged to Akito.

In an effort to make sure she wasn't dreaming, Kita flipped down the mirror above the steering wheel to get a good look at herself. She was a resident of the dorms at her university, but she had claimed to still live at Sohma house on her paperwork. She was a high school graduate with a license and a major in psychology. She had a healthy figure and hair that fell a little past her shoulders.

She looked down at her left hand to see the engagement ring Akito had given her, the diamond and amethysts sparkling under the afternoon summer sun. It hadn't come off her finger since she put it on that day he had given it to her. She still belonged to Akito.

Kita knew she could go looking for him at either the cemetery or the main house. She could either find him or his gravestone. She chose the main house since going to the graveyard would give her a straightforward answer and she really wasn't ready for one.

Truthfully, Kita didn't know if she wanted to see him. She was afraid. She was afraid that if he was dead, she would never be able to go on the way she had been. Losing her mother, her father, and her fiancé is barely even imaginable as far as catastrophes go. She was afraid that if he was alive, he would punish her but somehow that didn't sound as bad to her anymore. The idea of him hating her stung much deeper than the idea of a few blows to the head. She knew just seeing him would hurt her and remind her how badly she wanted to be with him again but it would be such a relief to know he was still alive. Maybe I could find him but not talk to him, she contemplated.

But she needed to know. She needed to know if he forgave her. She needed to know if he wanted her gone. She needed to know if he wanted her back. She needed to know if he was no longer around to feel, making all of her curiosities obsolete.

Tentatively, Kita grabbed the handle on the car door and pushed it open, exposing her to the noise of cars whooshing by and people having loud, animated conversations on their cell phones as they walked down the street, oblivious to the suffering of that purple-haired girl in the gray car that used to belong to her father before he died. Kita stepped out of the car and shut the door, no longer feeling the need to lose herself in the noises like she so commonly did when she was younger. She nervously smoothed the wrinkles out of her blue and white skirt and her new shirt, white with black, embroidered lily outlines along the bottom. The lilies made her think of Akito.

She walked around the car towards the Great Sohma Gate and it occurred to her that she couldn't go in the front door. It wasn't like the winter where everyone was cooped up inside trying to stay warm. It was the summer and there were sure to be many people enjoying the hot weather outside. She didn't want to be seen and she especially didn't want to be questioned. She had no idea what lie Akito had fed the inquisitive family members who had the courage to ask about her disappearance.

Ignoring the majestic door, Kita walked down the sidewalk until she came upon the copse that hid the alternative entrance. She gently pushed aside the bushes and branches so that she wouldn't snap them to reveal the concealed hole in the barricade and slipped inside the estate.

Once again, Kita had to call upon her invisibility skills, or stealthy crowd-avoiding skills to give them a more accurate title, to keep her from getting caught even though it had been a long time since she had used them. Fortunately, she overestimated the amount of people outside so finding her way to the main house without getting caught only took roughly ten minutes.

She walked up the steps to the front door and crept inside, praying that there wasn't anyone standing near the door. The coast was clear. Once she was in, she took off her shoes and carried them in her hands, enabling her to slide down the hallway and thus, make less noise.

First, she went into her old room. When she opened the door, she was surprised to see that it was exactly the same as how she left it. Her bed was still neatly made, with the same light blue sheets and the bookshelf still held all the books that she wasn't sure were hers. In fact, the only different thing about the room was the fact that the blue mosaic vase that held the tiger lilies was gone. She had a hunch that it broke, either by a clumsy servant or Akito's uncontrollable rage. In retrospect, putting her goodbye note next to such a fragile object wasn't the best of ideas.

Kita couldn't resist running her hand along the seam of the soft, cotton sheets in remembrance. The memories of Akito confronting her after the Shigure incident came into mind and she started to feel even more uneasy. Recollecting that she didn't come to reminisce, Kita left the room and decided that a faster answer to the question she had been dying to ask, would be to go into Akito's room.

She went back into the hallway and inched along the wall like a bug trying to get up to the ceiling until she was in front of Akito's door. She slowly slid the door aside but stopped when she heard footsteps. She scanned her surroundings and saw Kureno walk out of a room further down the hall. Her heart started racing. As much as she missed Kureno, and all the other Sohmas for that matter, she didn't want him to see her. Luckily, he entered a room across the hall from the one he left so he never caught a glimpse of the return of the girl who escaped Akito's clutches.

She opened the door a little more and peered inside to see that the room was dark as usual. She would have to go in if she wanted to know anything so with one big breath, Kita pulled open the door, stepped inside, and shut it behind her.

There was no one inside. Kita looked around at the table in the corner, the artwork on the walls, the vase where Akito hid his knife, and found no one. She couldn't help but wonder if the room was empty because Akito was dead or because he just wasn't in the room. She started to walk towards the porch, her haven of deep thinking, her former mental escape from the abrasiveness of the real world.

Kita's blood froze when she heard the door behind her slide open. I've been found, she thought to herself. This is it. It's all over for me. They're going to want to know where I've been or know if the lie Akito fed them is true. They're going to tell me what has become of Akito and I will have to face the truth, whatever it may be.

She whipped her head around, her hair gracefully flipping over her shoulder, and gasped when she saw that it was Akito standing behind her.

He was leaner than she remembered but he still held himself with a sense of composure, even though he seemed so unsteady on his feet. His skin was as pale as the last time she saw him at the hospital, the frightening ghastly complexion that added to his intimidating appearance. His dark mop of hair temporarily hid his eyes from her which she knew were probably scrutinizing her in disgust and astonishment. He had an almost imperial look to him in his red and silver yukata that was working its way off his shoulders, even though they were extremely broad in comparison to the rest of his slender build.

Kita dropped to her knees in front of the withering God, fearful that he was already planning a punishment to match her heinous crime. He's going to lock me up and beat me, Kita thought. I ran away for his little box, his cage, and now that I'm back he has to make sure I'll never leave again. I'm surprised he didn't try to catch me and take me back here in all the time I've been gone. Maybe he did and they just couldn't find me.

Finally after an eternity of tension-filled silence, he spoke.

"Kita."

His voice was smooth and strangely void of any specific emotions. He sounded only mildly surprised to find her in his room after she left him four months ago but, in general, he retained his icy disposition.

"Now, what are you doing here?" he asked, making it sound like he was talking to a child who had found their way into the restricted area of a house. Sometimes his calm was even more terrifying than his ire.

"I-I...missed you, Akito." she said earnestly, her head down low so she didn't have to look at him as she spoke. She stayed quiet to give him the opportunity to respond - I missed you too, perhaps - but he remained quiet as if he was looking for her to elaborate.

"I'm so sorry for leaving you." she murmured as crystalline tears started to roll down her cheeks. "I needed to continue my schooling. My father had hoped that I would grow up and change the world. I wanted to at least to have the option of a career if I came back to you. And I always knew in my heart that I would."

She paused for him to speak again but he just stood over the girl, trying to wrap his mind around the fact that she had come back, begging for forgiveness. He wanted to hurt her, to show her the pain he felt with her gone but it seemed like she had been feeling the same thing, in spite of the fact that it was her own selfish fault that they were both subjected to such anguish. But he subconsciously knew she would eventually come home. That was why he hadn't searched for her. He had unwillingly accepted that she needed to prove that she had changed.

"You can beat me and tell me you hate me and I will cry, much like I am now, but I will still love you." she wept, moving her idle hand to wipe her face.

Akito's eyes widened. Unconditional love. She was saying that she would love him no matter what. In truth, that was the one thing he could never get, even in his seat of power, and she had given it to him without any strings attached.

"I'll move back into the Sohma house." she offered. "I could try to transfer to a school closer so I can live here. I want to be with you, Akito." The last sentence was spoken in a whisper that chilled him. He was rarely ever chilled but there was something about her pure sincerity that hit him like a high-speed bullet.

Akito lowered himself to the ground so that he was on his knees in front of the crying girl. She lifted her hand to wipe her face again and he caught sight of the ring that had never left her finger. The twinkling ring that he had given to her to show his devotion to her. She's really telling the truth. No more lies. Not even an inclining of fiction.

He reached out and touched her soft cheek, pulling her face up towards him so he could look at her. She was beautiful even while she cried and that fact made him ache. She closed her eyes and braced herself for an attack, sure that his other hand was going to slap her to the floor. For once, she felt like she deserved it.

But the slap never came. Nor did a tight-fisted punch or a violent shove or a swift kick. Instead, Kita was drawn into a kiss, one that was humble and caring, one that told her that he missed her more than anything.

He pulled away from her and Kita opened her eyes, looking at him blankly, stupefied and filled with anticipation for his next astonishing gesture.

"You'll move back." he told her potently, leaning into her ear and sending warm air into her ear canal and around the frame. "You'll transfer and no one has to know about our little falling out."

Kita nodded with Akito's mouth still next to her ear not yet done with helping her understand how he was feeling.

"I've missed you." he purred huskily. "I _love_ you."

Kita took his hand that was placed on her face and took it away from her to hold it in front of her. Akito looked on with a bit of dread as she lifted the sleeve of his yukata to show all the lines he had made since she left. They were innumerable, the dark red scabs that mutilated his arms, and they caused Kita to start crying again. She held his arm up to her cheek, cradling it like an infant that required nurturing and pulled it away only to place a few kisses on the evidence of his loneliness. She had caused those scars.

"I need you." he said seriously as he discreetly pulled his sleeve down.

Kita, face still damp with saline, moved closer to him and kissed him hard on the mouth. He responded actively, sliding his tongue past her lips. She sighed as she took a breath and wrapped her arms around him, pulling him close and peering up at his dark eyes.

"I need you too." she admitted. He was the subtle catalyst to getting over her shyness and lies, her willingness to let people push her around, and her feelings of apathy to the world around her. He helped her feel again when she tried to hide from the pain of life. He had helped her to love again when she was sure there was no reason to ever care for anyone again.

"You're mine." he told her, gripping her fiercely. "Never forget that."

She never had.

And they kissed again, each sinking deeply into the embrace of the other, the only cage Kita would allow herself to be put in.

_**P.S. (Author's Note):** I sometimes think that ending was too happy. I mean, everything is not perfect that's for hell sure: Akito's still dying and eventually Kita will be alone again (but a better person for knowing him), Kita's still under his control because she loves him (unless you want her to be in which case, that's happy), and they aren't going to tell anyone about her return. She'll still see them but no one will know that she's back with Akito. I would have ended it sadly but that would be too predictable._

_Anyway, thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed the show. bows_


End file.
